AIBU for refusing primary school homework apart from reading?

[AntiPrimaryHomework]

My dc are 7,9 and 13. We’ve never done any homework at primary school. I strongly disagree with it all except reading.

The school aren’t happy but my dc all have ASD and ADHD diagnosed and they are too exhausted every weekday and at weekends we let them play and relax and take them out.

At secondary school we believe homework is necessary and ds1 happily does his but for primary we just don’t agree at all.

Does anyone else feel the same ?

😂

No, places like Finland don't set homework etc and they do just fine.

Homework for a 5 year old is madness, 6 hours in school is enough.

Obviously but not to the extent that there's no time for STEM!

I liked my children having homework. I wanted to see what and how they were doing and how I could help them. You’re not interested in this and are doing your children a disservice.

🙄

I agree. My youngest did the primary maths challenge mainly at home. His school won! We still remember doing it 😊

@concertinacornflake I’m sure the teacher understands it ! The point is it prevents access to the ks3 curriculum and it’s hard to stop these dc falling further behind. Literacy has improved a bit but sats aren’t showing great improvement. Dc are probably finding phonics boring!

Yup

What about things like reading, times tables and spelling which may not be given as formal homework but is definitely expected that you do with children at home?

I'd be concerned that I was giving my child a very poor example about being part of something and following rules and significantly disadvantaging them as they're not necessarily going to have had the chance to reinforce the skills they've learnt at school. If the school has to then start putting on remedial classes for your child or covering more in lessons as you've chosen not to do homework then you're adding to the teachers workload and being very unfair to other children. It comes across to me as being incredibly entitled.

In my opinion you follow the rules, ask the school to change the rules (but follow the rules regardless of their decision) or leave.

What a shame for your daughter. You couldn’t be bothered so outsourced it to school.

I don't agree with homework at primary but it only ever took 10 minutes plus secondary school wasn't such nasty shock when she got given homework there.

I agree with you - parents in the UK just don't seem to value education like other countries do.

@AntiPrimaryHomework sitting with children to do their homework during primary years used to take up every Sunday afternoon for us but I strongly feel our children benefited from that 1:1 help whilst providing them with a boost of confidence each week that they can do it. I also believe showing your children that you value education filters down to them and by the time they are in their teenage years they are very independent, confident and enthusiastic learners.

The parenting role becomes easier when standards and expectations are set from a very young age.

I understand that it may be different for children with SEN, but for those parents not supporting their kids (without SEN) with their homework during the primary years do not value education enough and are possibly making the decision not to do homework due to pure laziness.

We didn't do any homework with DD1 (who has ASD) and she started secondary with a reading age of 15+ and is in the top quartile of her year. We didn't do any SATS prep either and she did just fine (and if a school needs to cram for these it has a problem).

DD2 is dyslexic and like someone said up thread the homework is not set up for dyslexic kids- lists of random spellings. We do tend to do the maths but the literacy is bobbins and badly done and just makes her feel shit.

DC1 has a reasonable adjustment of no sanctions for not doing homework at secondary but does do most of it. It really knackers her out though and I won't make it a battle. So they definitely can pick it up at secondary.

If you chat to a lot of teachers they will say they also hate it and that they find it hard to calibrate some parents wanting none and some parents wanting loads. Teachers also read the evidence.

I'm in Finland, they absolutely do give homework here, its considered a very important part of learning and is compulsory. I have a 9th grader and a 2nd grader, both get homework nearly every day (not on Fridays while in primary school). My youngest has had to stay after school for not doing his homework (and on one occasion, at the very beginning of 1st grade, for no colouring in his homework well enough!)

I think the other thing, of course, is that family life is much busier. If they are in after school club because work, then it only leaves the weekends. Especially in early primary they're too tired in the evening, factor in one sports club and maybe something musical, plus occasionally trying to do something as a family? You're out of time.

A lot of primary schools seem to base themselves on someone (guess who) being around to facilitate after school every day.

we’ve just started doing homework in year 1. The 2 tasks so far have been fine, one of them was working on writing numbers which is useful. I will do as much as I can to help, but will draw the line at anything where I will be made to do crafts.

Someone commented their teacher would rather they rest, play, do an activity, visit family, do family activities and that’s ideal but the reality is a lot of children are on screens for hours at a time. 10 minutes on times table rockstars or time spent going over a concept in maths is better use of time that watching endless YouTube reels.
As a teacher the parents who don’t do homework tend to be the ones who don’t expect their children to do lots of other things. Now and again it’s a child who does all of the other wholesome things listed above.
One of my children struggled with doing homework and felt it was unfair, hated doing work at home, we had a lot of battles but by year 6 and subsequently secondary they are in a good routine, get it done properly and need no reminders. I can’t imagine leaving homework until year 7 and having battles with them then.

Our primary is very relaxed with homework and there is very little of it. I like that, it.is one of the reasons that the school appealed. However, dd1 is now at secondary and the homework is a bit of a shock. I'm going to start doing my with dd2, even if it's just writing out a little story or a bit more maths practice so she is used to it when she starts year 7.

For those who are claiming that homework has no impact, you clearly didn’t do YOUR homework.
https://educationendowmentfoundation.org.uk/education-evidence/teaching-learning-toolkit/homework

I would agree with you up to about year 5/6.
I’m a primary teacher and I set some homework as it is required by my school but I’ve never fussed all that much if they haven’t done it.
Can I add in tables practice from year 3 onwards though. That’s and reading are very useful.

The quality of that evidence is quite low and what there is very much depends on the quality of the homework for a relatively small effect size in primary. A coached homework club and great feedback given? Fab. A couple of worksheets or online task that no feedback is every given for (aka most schools)? Not so much.

Incidentally in my experience secondary schools are much better at the former type.

I disliked it too but I dislike a lot of things I have to do 😂

getting used to doing things which are uncomfortable can never be taught too early imho. In life there will always be rules to follow even if you're the Queen! (This is the line I used) building it into a routine is the way it worked for us. Except reading which they were always good at so I remeber signing the reading book in the car on the way to school 😂

yes I am strict but it's not so much that it's more about expectations that were set as soon as they could walk! In fact I have a pic from about years ago with my husband sitting with our 10 year old son for maths after work I'll see if I can add it.

can I just add it's not that I think homework is necessary per se it's more about doing what they were told basically. Yes there are tantrums and melt downs and all the rest of it but ultimately it still has to be done. As I used to say as still do

all feelings are allowed, all behaviours are not

It depends on the nature of the homework. If it's a written task that is barely going to be locked at it's pointless.

However, if it's practising time stables or spellings it is really beneficial and the engagement from parents can make a real difference.

Edit to add: if it's the schools policies I think you should do it. If you don't agree with the nature of the homework you can give parent feedback.

I hated primary homework with a passion but we reluctantly complied. Because you’d be a dick to make teachers’ lives harder than they are, and it helps build resilience for your kids to have a bit of something in their lives that they don’t want to do, but won’t kill them.

I'm interested reading these replies. I'm in the process of applying for my eldest and feel really strongly that homework isn't great (particularly things like maths games on ipads!!) and would like somewhere that focuses on reading outside of school (maybe the odd project every term or something). I'd be happy doing something in the half term break for example.