AIBU for refusing primary school homework apart from reading?

[AntiPrimaryHomework]

My dc are 7,9 and 13. We’ve never done any homework at primary school. I strongly disagree with it all except reading.

The school aren’t happy but my dc all have ASD and ADHD diagnosed and they are too exhausted every weekday and at weekends we let them play and relax and take them out.

At secondary school we believe homework is necessary and ds1 happily does his but for primary we just don’t agree at all.

Does anyone else feel the same ?

Yet you keep replying.

Talk to the child about what they did at school. They did science, what did they learn, what does that mean, how can it be applied, what do you think happens next? That discussion reinforces learning better than a worksheet.
And again, there is no evidence that primary stool homework improves learning, quite the reverse in fact. If you are doing homework to improve your child’s learning abandon the worksheet and engage with the content and your child. Just ‘doing’ the worksheet is of no value other than compliance. You can have an interesting conversation over tea or while getting ready for bed, pleasant, interesting, relaxing, fun.

It may have been supportive, but you did rather imply a 6 year old needed to do homework so they are ready for studying at home for a masters they might do when they're adults....

And then you went on to call parents who didn't make their kids do the homework lazy parents and they should do better and you laughed etc

So, it didn't actually feel very supportive when you called me (and others) lazy for not making my child do the homework that she really doesn't need to do.

What the school "feels" about it has no baring on the fact of it.

Obviously.

I’m with you, studies show primary aged reading homework gets results, other homework far far less effective.

My kids read lots, hated Biff & Chip so moved on to humorous or adventure based age appropriate books. As a result their written work in school was great

There's been a study in my country at least that shows that homework, so long as it's little and often (e.g. 15 minutes daily of maths) does in fact improve attainment.

In science right now DS is learning to recognise and name various flora and fauna, the only way to do that is to study the pictures and commit them to memory, no amount of discussion is a substitute for studying this.

Your kids, your choice. Not sure why you need validation if you think it’s right.

DD is year 2 and her non-reading homework takes literally 15 minutes. We do it because I don’t think education ends at the school gate and it’s not onerous in terms of time or effort.

I simply disagree with homework at primary school. The school day is long enough that they should be able to learn and consolidate what they have learnt during that time. I think after school time and weekends should be about hobbies and playing. They are children and should be allowed to just be kids. I actually think there should be holiday homework (no more than 15 mins a day) to keep them ticking over, but none during school days.

All that said, I still make my DD do her homework (at her school it is daily from year 4). She is not ND so my circs are different to yours, but I realised I shouldn’t teach her that one can pick and choose which rules to follow and that what is not optional for everyone else can be optional for her. So I hate it, but say nothing to her and make her do it.

Id be genuinely interested to see the study you refer to as all the UK based research says reading is good and homework is connected to better results at secondary and above. I’ve gone back and checked and there is an EEF study that suggest a 3 month gain in attainment but that is an outlier. Also, this assumes quality homework, that is certainly not rushed parents giving miserable children a worksheet.
Quality homework would be encouraging parents to spend time in a park or garden looking at the plants and seeing how many they could name. Rote learning at primary age really is not best practice - apart from tables. That is the age to open and engage not cram.

Aren't they behind when they get to secondary? Mine did things like spelling lists and learning times tables etc. It would have been quite a catch up in secondary unless they are very bright and manage to cover it all in class.

Also if everyone else does homework don't they feel a bit left out when homework is discussed and marked or tested? Kids can be cruel if a child is seen to be different.

@Differentforgirls I think you have a bit of a sheep mindset with your comment about not doing homework being lazy parenting. Lots of people think like you - believe everything a doctor tells them because they’re a doctor, never question authority, they know their place etc. But thank god for people like @AntiPrimaryHomework because we need people to question rules and think outside the box, to push back against systems that may not actually be benefitting people. Otherwise we may as well be living in a dictatorship. My kids’ primary doesn’t do homework until year 5, apart from reading. They’re a brilliant school. These are kids, they already spend most of their day at school, why should they have to come home and do more work? They need time for other things - family time, playing, different types of learning that they can’t get in school like cooking or playing sports, or even just resting! If my kids’ school did do homework my kids wouldn’t be doing it, at least not until late primary. If people who are unhappy about it don’t say anything and just go along with it nothing will ever change.

Don’t be so patronising.

Quality is of course important, it has to be related to what they have just learnt that day otherwise its not really going to be helpful. And reading is always helpful, that's why they always give reading homework in primary school here.

Its important to learn flora and fauna well here, children are in nature frequently, and foraging is a national pastime so children absolutely need to know what plants, berries, and mushrooms are dangerous, and what are the signs and tracks of predators like wolves and bears. Learning by rote is the easiest and most certain way to start this learning (they also go out in the forest to look for the plants they are identifying and go mushroom picking but that comes later). You can't rely on hoping to see them while out on a walk, you need to teach them from pictures.

I still feel you are. Them’s the breaks.

You think I'm lazy?

Why?

What would me making her do the homework actually achieve?

@Natsku if you’re not in the English education system you might have a different idea of homework. What you say sounds very sensible and linked to classroom learning and outdoor activities that would be supported by family and the community. That sounds brilliant.
A tedious worksheet identifying adjectives and writing sentences is your neatest handwriting does not offer the depth of interest and educational support you are discussing.

Just ‘doing’ the worksheet is of no value other than compliance

It seems like compliance is the beginning, middle and end goal of many people. It doesn’t matter if it’s enriching, as long as you and your child knows they have no say, no autonomy and will just have to follow the herd regardless. Teachers should have authority over what parents do with their kids in their own time because they will have to tow the line when they start work, but most adults would regard it as a massive breach of boundaries for their line manger behaved in this way.

It’s all very odd.

I hope, or I tried, to help my dc make judgments. They obeyed rules, behaved and were good students but they realised some homeworks were just compliance. We made family decisions to ignore these. When they got to secondary there were school sanctions and the homework’s were mostly useful, we discussed them and made judgments. At secondary I did some of their art homework! I enjoyed it they hated it.
I spoke to the primary teachers and explained my reasoning, most agreed with me, they knew the homework’s were useless. They were set because parents wanted them, if they didn’t give spellings parents complained. None of this was about pedagogy and learning it was compliance and middle class parents with little understanding of education.

Its also writing sentences and identifying adjectives sometimes, that kind of work is important too. Reading, writing, maths etc. all require practice to improve at, and that's what homework is (if done right. Obviously the build a model tudor house style homework isn't that, that's just homework for the parents and fully understand skipping that). You wouldn't skip practice if you were learning to play the piano would you? So why skip it when learning to write or calculate?

But they do this in literacy every single day at school.... As well as throughout the day.

It's like they have 6 x 1 hour lessonns a week on the piano. But the school go oh. Please don't forget to practise your scales everyday as well?

. My kid uses maths all the time, she's telling the time, weighing out ingredients checking how much money she has measuring things, dividing things between people Etc. why would I make her do a worksheet just because the school would say she has to? She's not behind. She's ahead. Honestly can't see any point to make my child circle all the shapes that have four sides or whatever.

It’s important in school. I repeat there is no evidence that doing worksheet type homework improves educational achievement. The work is important - in school. Reading and some maths is useful low quality homework is not.

Surely one of the reasons we educate people is so that they can engage with studies and research - the research indicates that low quality worksheet type homework has no impact on educational outcome at primary level. My education tells me, after reading this that my child is not spending time doing something that won’t make a difference.

Why educate them if we don’t use the brains and skills our education gives us?

@Thisusernameisalwaysavailable you are entirely correct. All that day to day integrated maths is way more useful and supports learning much more than circle the shapes.

Your child is clearly ahead as you've said so does not need as much practice right now (might change as she gets older and the work gets more difficult - my oldest skated by with very little effort until 3rd grade when the difficulty jumped up a big notch and she realised she actually needed to study for tests) but there are children who do need more practice.

I'm talking about quality homework though, which is what I've said all along. And worksheets aren't necessarily low quality, it depends on the source, DS's teacher sometimes gets worksheets from the textbook company to access higher level maths work that fits with the lesson DS had that day.