AIBU to think a couple moving into in a five bedroom house is selfish?

[activedough]

AIBU here??

I’ve noticed that a couple have recently moved into a 5 bed detached property in my area. They don’t have any children…

I honestly don’t understand it. Why on earth would two people need five bedrooms?! Surely a house that size should be going to a family who actually needs the space?

It just seems incredibly selfish to me when there are families struggling to find suitable homes.

YABU

Did they buy it? Or are they renting? Either way they’ll be paying for the extra space.
Unless it is social housing then I don’t understand why you think it would be better for a bigger family. If it is, then complain to the housing authority.

Maybe they've got loads of relatives who will come and stay. Home office, gym, craft room... I want five bedrooms!

Mind you, I know a (child free, retired) couple who have a ginormous house and they only ever seem to use half of it. It's never crossed my mind to think they shouldn't have it, but I do wonder about the two sitting rooms that never get used because they're always in the conservatory, and the (maybe three?) spare bedrooms. Maybe they each have their own suite. The key to a happy marriage is not sharing a bathroom, I've heard said!

If a family wanted it they should have bought it. There are two of us in a big 4 bed here, never had children, and bought it so we could have a spare room and an office each. But even if we didn’t have use for all the space, it’s absolutely nobody in the world’s business but ours - we earned the money to pay for it, so we will have what we choose.

Edited to add: DH and I are every bit as much a family as anyone with children, as are any other couple. This whole attitude can get in the fucking sea.

Before he died my late husband and had a 5 bedroom house and no children; we wanted the downstairs space for entertaining and not 5 bedrooms necessarily. When we had siblings come to stay with their children 3 of the other bedrooms would be in use, and my husband used one for home dialysis. Downstairs the sitting room was used daily, as were the study, kitchen and breakfast room. The dining room was used every month or so. We could have managed with a smaller house I suppose, but we liked it, we could afford it and we bought it. Didn’t realise that we’d be judged for spending our money on things we wanted, which had zero impact on anyone else as no one else wanted to buy it because of the huge amount of work needed!! Really the OP and her ilk should be thanking us for having renovated and restored a ‘family’ home so that it was brought back into the housing market for a family when I sold it… ;)

They look like they’re in their late 20s so I very much doubt they have adult kids boomeranging!!

Providing it’s not social housing then it’s got squat to do with you.

The fact that they don’t have kids is the reason they can afford such a big house. Good for them, I hope they enjoy it.

If this is genuine-maybe they're planning to have kids, or bring adult kids to stay. Maybe they're inviting parents/siblings to live there. Maybe they wfh and want an office each and still have a spare room.
Why is this selfish, but it's not selfish to have kids when you can't afford them/don't have enough space for them?

I live in a 5 bed detached house. It’s just me, DH and DS.

I like having a house with space for both me and DH to work from home and I especially like not having neighbours attached.
We paid for our house fair and square. Not sure how that makes us selfish. Families with more children were welcome to put in an offer for the house when it was up for sale. 🤷‍♀️

And it hasn't occurred to you that they might be planning to have kids? 🙄

People frown on other people taking way more than they need in general, but when it comes to houses it’s ’good for them’.

If they were flying in a private jet I bet the responses would be different 😬

No, but odds are they will have kids in the future. You're being ridiculous.

If they are privately renting, or bought it, then they are doing nothing wrong. They would have not been able to do this with social/council housing anyway.

A family could have applied/bought it, but they didn't.

Nothing to see here at all.

If they're late 20s then maybe they want to start a family.

Why is it any of your business? I’m starting to pity your poor neighbours living in nosey park.

Can you explain op, in words I can understand, why you think that how anyone else spends their own money, is any of your business?

If they had chosen to buy a tiny 1 bed flat somewhere that wouldn’t have meant a bountiful family would be given the 5-bed house so how was them buying it selfish? Everyone who was capable of paying for it had the same opportunity as they did to get it, the couple haven’t ran roughshod over some more deserving family and forced them out of the home or stolen the opportunity from them.

Is it a council house

Why is it any of your business?

Flying damages the environment for everyone else. Me buying a home on the open market, which everyone else was also free to offer on, has no impact on anyone else at all.

Five? That sounds a little claustrophobic to be honest. One must assume that they have some further accommodation elsewhere?

I just feel a bit judgey about wastefulness. Heating a massive 5 bedroom house as a couple would feel wrong to me 🤷‍♀️ as would increasing competition for family homes when I would be perfectly fine in, say, a 2/3 bed.

Of course it does as you have to heat and maintain it.

In our “spare” bedrooms Dh and I have a study each, a games room, a gym and a dedicated spare bedroom. Then kids in two rooms. And our room. Are we allowed to live in our 8 bedroom house if we can afford it or do we have to downsize to a 3 bed for you?