Daughter’s boyfriend STINKS.

[canyounotplease]

My DD is 19, her BF is 20. He’s a nice enough guy, however me and my husband are having some issues with his hygiene. The main issue is that he works in a kitchen, and when he comes to see DD, he does so straight after work without showering. When I say he stinks of BO, I’m not just talking about when you get close to him, her room stinks to high heaven and it sinks into any room or furniture he’s been on. We have a weekly cleaner who went into her room after he’d been over and was absolutely shocked by how much it smells - she ended up changing the sheets and using carpet cleaner and other sprays to get rid of it.

Another time, my husband went upstairs and exclaimed, ‘it fucking stinks’, to which point the boyfriend laughed and said it was him. Husband then told him to have a shower which he did do, but this doesn’t seem to have embarrassed him enough and he continues to come over stinking.

My DD is incredibly neat and clean so I am shocked she tolerates it. We’ve mentioned it to her and she just shrugs her shoulders and says he comes straight from work.

Other minor issues are constantly leaving the toilet seat up, not washing hands after using the toilet and leaving dirty pots lying around where ever he’s been. There’s no thought to put it in the sink or dishwasher. We could live with that though, it’s the smell that is repulsive.

I don’t understand how his parents haven’t said anything and I’m not sure how we deal with this issue without completely alienating DD and her boyfriend?

My ex is a chef

He also reeked-i cannot stress how bad it was

A mix of bo,wee,poo,dirt and smelly feet

He once (long after we'd broken up) didn't shower or change his clothes for 10 weeks (and he only had a shower because I made him,his hair changed colour and my bathroom honked of wet dog)

He would come to pick ds up and the pong would linger for hours

Even when his own child said to him 'why do you smell of vinegar?' he just laughed

How somebody at work didn't say something,I don't know (I did but he just laughed)

I once saw him walk down a crowded street (people where shoulder to shoulder) and they parted like the red sea as he walked past

Thankfully ds is now a grown up and i don't have to see or smell him ever again

But I make sure I know where he's working and will avoid that place like it has fleas

OT but does anyone know what to do with smelly feet? My DS 13 has a horrible smell - started a month ago. I make him wash them as soon as he get in the door but even his socks smell in the laundry basket 🤢

😅😅

He may have a fungal infection, get him some otc athlete’s foot products and some tea tree oil soap.

After reading all your posts, YABU!
There's absolutely no way there is a house full or doormat and people with such low self-esteem, that this man is allowed to stink out your home repeatedly; and you're just taken up monitoring his toilet habits.

The replies to this are hilarious. Especially the ones about his boaby and needing tongs to touch it 😂😂

Simple answer is for daughter to refuse to have sex with him, or even kiss him, until he showers. He'll very quickly learn to shower automatically!!!

I've had this problem too. Sometimes the smell gets into the shoes. Especially if he wears the same shoes for days in a row (which, let's face it, is what happens with a lot of shoes). Then the shoes make the socks and feet smell worse in a vicious circle.

If he's already washing his feet and changing his socks every day, then it's probably a shoe problem. You can get shoe deodorant and in my experience it really works. The one I used was called Kiwi Deo Fresh Shoe Deodoriser, but for some reason it seems to be out of stock everywhere now. But it looks like Amazon has got a ton of shoe deodorant sprays with good reviews.

Baffles me how she fancies him at all. I have 2 DD's and a simple whiff of anything relating to poor hygiene would have them running.

I don't buy the theories that she might not smell him. I've never loved anyone like I loved my babies, yet I could still smell and balk at their shitty nappies.

Same as when I was in love, a hint of BO would give me the ick.

I think I am more interested in the daughter than the minger that inspired this thread. How she can stand him is quite the head scratcher.

Your last sentence. 😂 This is the thread that keeps on giving.

A matter of opinion. An inappropriate comment, imo.

I told my DS to spray his feet when he does his armpits with his antiperspirant deodorant and it's helped a LOT.

I'm the same.

When I was dating, a boyfriend had bad breath which I discovered on our first snog. I told him in no uncertain terms, there wouldn't be a second snog until he properly brushed his teeth. He quickly learned and I never had to tell him again!!

It's relevant in the fact this guy doesn't wash his hands after using the toilet though

I keep forgetting that we've got to pretend that life all over the world is just like that of mumsnet. For the rest if us who actually know people from some parts of Turkey andhow tough life is, it's a factual statement.

Just fyi my son works as a labourer and drinks when he comes home despite having good hygiene.

He spends a lot of time at his gfs, and when he’s there I expect him to abide by their rules. I can’t say much to him when he’s over there! I can’t only make sure he’s got good hygiene at home.

Personally I’d have a word. Tell him it’s unacceptable and to up his hygiene game…. If not, he can’t stay. It’s your house your rules.

I would tell him calmly and kindly to shower before coming over he is 20 he can handle it .

Yuk...I once taught a lad who wore same track suit for years, told him he needs to wash it, we bought him shower gel and shampoo etc as sitting next to him made us retch...he welcomed the feedback !

I’d leave it to your husband to take the lads ‘bants’ approach and say to him again ‘Jesus, mate you stink, we can tell when you’ve been here, get straight up and have a shower before you knock us all out’.

It’s not just a shower or wash it’s the anti perspirant. Also certain foods like garlic or onions can make sweat smell bad. If his clothes aren’t washed at home) for whatever reason) that may make it worse too. Be sympathetic to him not rude and maybe buy him some shower gels and anti aspirant as his family may not have done that. May depend on his home situation.

Anti perspirant

And he is a chef??? Good GOD.

Your daughters probably become immune and nose blind to it. It is disgusting and just reading your post was making me 🤢. Personally I would set proper boundaries, either sort yourself out or you’re not coming to “OUR!” House. Honestly I love my daughter to bits but if she ever came home with someone like that we’d be having a serious conversation. It’s just beyond belief how if someone knows they smell and they laugh it off! What the hell is he’s own house like? Seriously I would sit him down and have a proper conversation!
I would draw a line and even tell your daughter either he sorts himself out or that’s it he’s barred.

My best friend had disgustingly stinky feet from wearing trainers without socks, my dad used to put a bucket of soapy water in the conservatory and she had to wash her feet before she could come in. I'd suggest you do the same, no wash, no entry

In the name of good public health please pop the name of the restaurant he works at on here OP! He sounds like a walking d and v hazard.