Pregnant, moving in together but I cannot stand his dogs

[fluffypillowspls]

I’m three months pregnant and currently do not live with my partner. Since becoming pregnant, I really cannot stand the smell of his dogs. I also really hate the fur everywhere.

One of these dogs is quite elderly and realistically won’t be around in spring next year when I am due. I think this is a really smelly one as he doesn’t take it to be groomed as they are so old.

His house at the moment really smells of dog and I decided as of last night that I’m not going to his house anymore. He can’t stay at mine because he has to go back to his to look after the dogs.

He has given notice on his flat and will be moving back to his mum’s for a few months to help her as she’s old with Health Issues. The plan for December January times was for him to rent a place for both of us. I really do want to live with him, and I know at that point of my pregnancy. I will really need him around and want him around. However, I cannot stand the thought of his stinky dogs being in the house and the fur everywhere.

The thought of having a child and having fur all over their baby clothes really stresses me out. When I go over to his house now I literally have to hold my nose and he does try his best to clean mop etc but on some occasions it is really strong smelling. He is his nose blind to this and doesn’t realise and I’m sure he thinks I’m exaggerating.

I am bothered by this so much that I actually wish I could turn back the clock and not get pregnant because he does come with the dogs as a package. Obviously, I can’t do that and I’m not going to terminate, especially at this point, but I just feel so stressed out and down about this.

I’m considering maybe we just don’t live together once we have the child so I don’t have to be around the dogs but when I broach this with him, he was offended and did not agree at all with the idea.

I can’t tell him not to keep his dogs and I wouldn’t say that because one he would resent me and two he had them first, but I just cannot see a world where I am happy with having these two dogs or even just one of them around.

He has said that when we get this place together, he can section off areas for the dog/s to be, But I still think the house is going to stink and the fur will still get everywhere. I want my baby to be able to crawl around and not have fur all over them.

I don’t even know what I want from this post, but has anyone been in this situation and has it got better? Or am I just doomed? Has anyone decided to live apart from their partner.

this.

if they are going to be a partnership, those things are not her total choice.

She didn't say it was unwell. She said it was old. I have a cat that's 20 and a half -should I get him PTS because he's old.

If it’s causing a problem then yes

Prioritisation doesn't equate to getting rid of other responsibilities. If the person I got pregnant could not accept me as the same person who got her pregnant, with everything to do with my life, I would not get rid of those things. Different if something was a threat to life, but just preference? Nope.

Why are you with a dog lover if you don’t like dogs? Dogs can live up until the ages of 12+. I have two dogs and had my children around dogs since birth and my dogs have access to my entire house as it is their home. You do need to hoover and dust daily and dogs need a good groom every now and then. You can’t repeatedly bathe dogs anyway as it dries out their skin, creates dander and they shed more. Some breeds smell more than others. My house doesn’t smell because I do clean and whenever it’s not raining, bedding is washed and aired outside. If he isn’t on top of the clean side then it ultimately will become your job. I wouldn’t have planned to have a baby in this instance and I wouldn’t be moving in.

He's not causing a problem. You come across very strongly as someone who dislikes animals. All my cats are rescues. I would drop dead before I got rid of them just because they are old.

She said his house is clean. I personally can't understand someone who would get into a relationship with someone if they dislike dogs and then have sex with them knowing pregnancy could be on the cards

Sorry to the OP and others but this reminds me of this, which is one of my top favourite threads on here ever! https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4929335-how-can-my-brother-salvage-this-situation

yup...sauce for the gander and all that.

The problem is this comes back to being incompatible. He’s clearly a dog lover and will probably want another dog at some point in the future.
Older dogs do tend to smell a little bit the younger one shouldn’t. You should get him to agree to have them regularly groomed - older dogs especially need this to keep their fur from matting. If he isn’t willing to you have to ask yourself why and will that translate in any way to how he will be with a child.
Dog fur won’t hurt a baby, that is something you need to get over. Nor will dog germs etc. They will need to be separated though, especially if they aren’t used to being around a child and only allowed in contact under supervision. Are his dogs going to be okay living like that suddenly? Will your partner keep it up or will he want them to have free roam after a week or a month? Does he walk them enough and make sure they aren’t bored? Husky’s often need a lot of exercise - will he still do this with a little one? Are you going to freak out every time the dog is near the baby and scare the dog or punish it?
Saying that you don’t want to be a single mum
and he has a good job and can provide for you is… well not great. You can’t stay with someone because it’s easier. You’re in the situation you are in and you need to work it out.
In all honesty I think this relationship is doomed. There are going to be a lot of arguments in your future but I also suspect, as with many of us, you will have to find out the hard way.

My sense of smell was heightened with my pregnancies so it could be that ?
You may find it improves as your pregnancy progresses.
I have an elderly dog , I’ve had dogs for years .
There is a slight smell I guess in his bed etc but my house isn’t smelly at all and definitely isn’t covered in dog hair .
I clean regularly , mop regularly ( in fact I have a robot hoover mop )I also wash his bedding regularly too
I get my dog groomed regularly ( she’s a busy groomer so it’s usually every 8 weeks ) and I groom / bath him in between maybe once or twice .
He needs to groom his dogs , and do more cleaning .
I also have friends with 2 or 3 dogs and their homes do not smell

Exactly this right here!! I don't mind the smell of cats (except litter trays and when males spray) but I'm sure there are people who think they stink

Dogs do smell. Especially wet dog. I think owners get nose blind.

So fucking what. She was happy enough to fuck him knowing he had two dogs. Now he's got to get rid of them. Maybe she should have thought about that before she started sleeping with him.

I don’t think she getting rid of them. Steady with the nasty language!

How would you make it work as the man?

I'm one of those people that will hate you if you give up your animals because you got pregnant. I know this isn't exactly that situation, but its close. I can understand him not taking elderly dogs to the groomers, but im certain he can figure out how he ( maybe you could help, or not) how to give them a gentle warm bath. They " might" like it. It's got to be comfortable for them. And I would suggest filling the tub,perhaps to their needs. And using a bowl to get them wet. With warm water. Research shampoos that are gentle and non allergic to use. You could give them some food while bathing them, which might distract them. Once completely rinsed of, do a good towel dry or you can try a blow dryer, not to close to their fir. This is the only solution I can think of. Bath= no stinking dogs and happy dad, happy mom. Let me know what you think.

I nothing animals, well specifically pets as they aren’t useful animals or part of an ecosystem. They are fine but ultimately unimportant.

@AllIwantForChrismasIsAKitchenAidStandMixer
My elderly rescue dog pretty much rescued me as much as I rescued her. Not important though?

I won't. Make me. I'm sick of some of the comments on this thread including suggestions that I should get my 20 year old cat put to sleep. Don't you dare tell me how I can post on here. As someone else said she was gleeful at the thought of the older dying

I don't care what you think. You sound like a sociopath with every post you make. Now. Off you jog

Ps. I nothing animals makes no sense

Don't even bother typing to that idiot. They don't get what pets mean to some people. My cats got me through points in my life where I didn't want to Iive

You are a sociopath. Unhinged to boot