Pregnant, moving in together but I cannot stand his dogs

[fluffypillowspls]

I’m three months pregnant and currently do not live with my partner. Since becoming pregnant, I really cannot stand the smell of his dogs. I also really hate the fur everywhere.

One of these dogs is quite elderly and realistically won’t be around in spring next year when I am due. I think this is a really smelly one as he doesn’t take it to be groomed as they are so old.

His house at the moment really smells of dog and I decided as of last night that I’m not going to his house anymore. He can’t stay at mine because he has to go back to his to look after the dogs.

He has given notice on his flat and will be moving back to his mum’s for a few months to help her as she’s old with Health Issues. The plan for December January times was for him to rent a place for both of us. I really do want to live with him, and I know at that point of my pregnancy. I will really need him around and want him around. However, I cannot stand the thought of his stinky dogs being in the house and the fur everywhere.

The thought of having a child and having fur all over their baby clothes really stresses me out. When I go over to his house now I literally have to hold my nose and he does try his best to clean mop etc but on some occasions it is really strong smelling. He is his nose blind to this and doesn’t realise and I’m sure he thinks I’m exaggerating.

I am bothered by this so much that I actually wish I could turn back the clock and not get pregnant because he does come with the dogs as a package. Obviously, I can’t do that and I’m not going to terminate, especially at this point, but I just feel so stressed out and down about this.

I’m considering maybe we just don’t live together once we have the child so I don’t have to be around the dogs but when I broach this with him, he was offended and did not agree at all with the idea.

I can’t tell him not to keep his dogs and I wouldn’t say that because one he would resent me and two he had them first, but I just cannot see a world where I am happy with having these two dogs or even just one of them around.

He has said that when we get this place together, he can section off areas for the dog/s to be, But I still think the house is going to stink and the fur will still get everywhere. I want my baby to be able to crawl around and not have fur all over them.

I don’t even know what I want from this post, but has anyone been in this situation and has it got better? Or am I just doomed? Has anyone decided to live apart from their partner.

He will be lucky to find a place to rent that will accept dogs. Sounds like you need to take charge here.

Take charge and do what ?

Yes. Treat him like a five year old. That's the way to do it

Did this not occur to you before embarking on a serious relationship / trying for children? I’m just at a bit of a loss here.

When expecting you are often hyper sensitive to smells / everything and nesting thing to want everything looking nice and clean.

Put off moving in for now, and suggest dogs are not allowed upstairs / on furniture in new home etc, keep them washed and well groomed and don’t replace them when they are gone.

I can't think of any (toothed) animal who wouldn't smell if they had bad dental hygiene. Come to think of it, I think any animal (or vegetable or mineral) would smell of fox poo if it had fox poo on it.

I wouldn't have a baby unless I was prepared to have a baby AND my dog. Around 30% of families do this just fine, it is far from unheard of. And if I accidentally got someone pregnant (in an alternate universe where I was male and straight) no, I would not get rid of my dog. She was here first and I am not irresponsible nor am I unemphatic toward an animal just because it had the misfortune to not be the same species as me.

A lot of humans give off a gross smell too. I don't like the smell of wet, dirty dogs but I didn't like the smell of my ex when he was wet and dirty either (he was human).

A normal healthy dog who smells like a dog, the smell doesn't bother me at all. I can't smell it unless I bury my nose in my dog's fur. I appreciate people get used to what they're used to, to someone who's never been around dogs it may be unpleasant or even just unusual. But universally disliked it is not.

couldn’t see this article on the thread but read this yesterday and thought of you
https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2026/sep/28/pregnant-pet-aversion?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

could well be a temporary aversion!

In your opinion perhaps. Decent people don’t just get rid of animals they’ve had for years because a baby is on the way.

So sorry op, that’s so tricky. I couldn’t live with that either 😞

Decent people don’t prioritise pets over babies!

This. Unless there’s an issue with dangerous behaviour, which is a separate issue. I know my dog will have a doggy smell and I love it (her smell, not others). That’s because she goes to the groomer once a month and has a weekly freshen up bath at home. Hard floors and leather sofa means it’s easy to clean. I’ve a cat too which sheds a lot, as she’s v old.

sounds like much more a compatibility problem. OP hasn’t specifically said she hates dogs but the way she’s describing them certainly gives that impression. Even when mentioning the elderly dog - this is a sentient being who has shared his life for years and whom he will have a lot of love for. My love for my dog shares first place with DC. I bet he will be very upset if hen his pet passed away. OP sounds like she has little empathy for this.

If my DH had moved in for a few months to help his parents, he's still be there years later. Unless it's a short term thing because she's having an operation, health issues are usually far more than a few months.

However, it could work in your favour because I doubt his Mum will tolerate the smell and fur everywhere so he'll have to learn how to clean up his act.

My job takes me into people's houses. I've met elderly dogs, a small house with three labs and one with indoor rabbits. Although sometimes the dogs smell, the houses don't. You can also get special vacuum cleaners for pet hair — I have one because we all have plentiful human hair that sheds ... Now with added cat hair.