Pregnant, moving in together but I cannot stand his dogs

[fluffypillowspls]

I’m three months pregnant and currently do not live with my partner. Since becoming pregnant, I really cannot stand the smell of his dogs. I also really hate the fur everywhere.

One of these dogs is quite elderly and realistically won’t be around in spring next year when I am due. I think this is a really smelly one as he doesn’t take it to be groomed as they are so old.

His house at the moment really smells of dog and I decided as of last night that I’m not going to his house anymore. He can’t stay at mine because he has to go back to his to look after the dogs.

He has given notice on his flat and will be moving back to his mum’s for a few months to help her as she’s old with Health Issues. The plan for December January times was for him to rent a place for both of us. I really do want to live with him, and I know at that point of my pregnancy. I will really need him around and want him around. However, I cannot stand the thought of his stinky dogs being in the house and the fur everywhere.

The thought of having a child and having fur all over their baby clothes really stresses me out. When I go over to his house now I literally have to hold my nose and he does try his best to clean mop etc but on some occasions it is really strong smelling. He is his nose blind to this and doesn’t realise and I’m sure he thinks I’m exaggerating.

I am bothered by this so much that I actually wish I could turn back the clock and not get pregnant because he does come with the dogs as a package. Obviously, I can’t do that and I’m not going to terminate, especially at this point, but I just feel so stressed out and down about this.

I’m considering maybe we just don’t live together once we have the child so I don’t have to be around the dogs but when I broach this with him, he was offended and did not agree at all with the idea.

I can’t tell him not to keep his dogs and I wouldn’t say that because one he would resent me and two he had them first, but I just cannot see a world where I am happy with having these two dogs or even just one of them around.

He has said that when we get this place together, he can section off areas for the dog/s to be, But I still think the house is going to stink and the fur will still get everywhere. I want my baby to be able to crawl around and not have fur all over them.

I don’t even know what I want from this post, but has anyone been in this situation and has it got better? Or am I just doomed? Has anyone decided to live apart from their partner.

I did put YABU but only because you knew the dogs existed before getting serious/pregnant.

However, I’m not a dog person and agree with you re the smell. Fur less bothers me as I’m a cat person so used to fur.

If my DH had not been a car person too, our relationship would not have worked as I would not have given up my cats and could not foresee a life without cats.

You said he doesn't take them to the groomers because they are old, either he washes and clips them or a groomer does. End of.

2nd, rent somewhere with hard floors or right carpet, easy to run a vac around once a day.

No dogs in bedrooms.

Sorted.

Good point!

Every dog I've ever met stinks. Even straight from being groomed. I could never live with them around my babies. That being said pre baby I lived with friends who had a dog and they stunkkk, but my nose got used to it so I would only notice the smell of id been away for a while.

The dogs and house smell because he doesn’t clean the dogs or the house properly. He needs to start doing it. I struggled my partners dog breath the first few months but after it has been fine. The dog doesn’t live with us atm, but we will get a dog eventually. When dogs visit, baby gates usually stop them (although one broke though to get to me and lay with me as I am due soon).. that incident aside bedrooms and beds are dog free zone.

She said the house is clean. Can people not read ?

Absolute tosh. Complete and utter rubbish. My brother had two dogs. None of them stunk. He's one of the cleanest people I know. His dogs weren't stinky on any level. Some of these comments are downright odd.

To you maybe, that's just my experience...People can.experience smells differently

I v

It's not so hard to understand. People who thinks clean healthy dogs stink are people who simply don't like the smell of dogs. To them, that natural smell of the species constitutes a stink. Have you never come across a perfume you can't stand, the same perfume that others spend a fortune on because they think it's great? "Stink" is subjective.

I very rarely comment on here. But my husband had a dog when we got together. He’s had others since. Elderly dogs can still love going to the groomer and actually like feeling clean. I live in Edinburgh so if you do I can recommend an excellent groomer. Our dogs always came out smelling lovely and looking rather pleased with themselves. He needs to find one that properly washes the dogs and actually likes dogs. We had a few rubbish ones till I was at the vet with my hubby and very stinky dog and asked him if he could recommend someone. This needs sorted and quickly. How hard has he tried to find a decent groomer?

Nowhere does she say she 'hates' dogs.

He’s moving in with his mum anyway so just leave the conversation for now, then later when it comes up again just tell him you don’t want to move in with the dogs so will wait… how old is the younger dog??

I reckon the dogs aren’t as much of an issue here as you think. To me it seems rather like an incompatibility issue with you both. If the condition of his home right now is bothering you this much it will continue to do so when baby is here even if you’re one dog down.

Pregnancy nose and hormones aside, it’s obvious that you both have different ideas of what is an acceptable level of cleanliness in the home. These issues would have most likely made an appearance with time but the pregnancy has obviously sped things up a bit. You both need to stay living apart for now, but I wouldn’t put the blame on the dogs. How long are you in a relationship?

Have you actually told him all of this? If he’s a high earner, can he not get a place big enough to keep areas of the home dog free.

Wise advice.

@fluffypillowspls

This.

@fluffypillowspls

And this!

@fluffypillowspls

And this.

Good luck.

The OP never stated she hated dogs. It's the smell of HIS dogs, which is probably heightened by her pregnancy. Personally it would be a no from me, and I love diogs. He needs to regularly bath and groom his dogs, cos that's just nasty.

Accidents happen. An unplanned pregnancy is not 'disgraceful'!

Exactly this - the dog smell itself is unpleasant. Doesn’t matter how clean you think they are, they all give off a gross dog smell. Does anyone like this smell? I thought it was pretty famously unanimously disliked?

depends actually!

If it were famously unanimously disliked no one would ever have dogs. They do not all give off a gross dog smell.

I don’t think that’s true. I know plenty of dog owners that openly say they aren’t too keen on the dog smell and go to great lengths to stop their home smelling of dog for this reason…but they put up with it because they like other aspects of having a dog I guess.

And they DO all give off a smell. I suppose whether or not you find it gross is subjective.