Teacher pulled my daughter's hair, do I take it further?

[RingsLikeTinnitis]

So yesterday my daughter (14 year old. In year 10 at school) came home and told me the PE teacher pulled her hair. It was a supply teacher and is covering short term because the usual teacher has had surgery. Apparently she was "using my daughter as an example" of why they needed to put their hair up for PE. She had said something along the lines of "what happens if someone goes like this?" And then fully yanked my daughter's hair. It wasn't a gentle pull, it hurt her and she was quite upset about it.

Anyway I was picking her up early at 10 this morning for an appointment so I spoke to someone about it at the same time. The person I spoke to was the safeguarding lead and already knew about the incident because my daughter had reported it to another teacher and a few of the other students had also said something to other teachers too. She said that she will be having a strong word with this supply teacher and my daughter should come straight to her if she has any more concerns/problems with her. She's probably going to be teaching for the next couple of weeks.

Do you think you'd be happy with the schools response to this?

I wouldn't expect anything to happen, that would be small potatoes compared to what usually happens in schools

If she’d had her hair tied back, they wouldn’t have been able to use her as an example of what can happen when your hair isn’t tied back…

What does that have to do with anything? This is an assault from an adult on a child. It's outrageous.

Assault 🙄

Teacher could have just used their words.

Eta - what was the example anyway? That someone might deliberately pull your hair? Isn't that on the person doing the hair pulling rather than the hair owner?

What has that got to do with anything? Silly question.

Exactly. I’m rather surprised at these responses. Asking about behaviour, and if her hair was this way then this wouldn’t have happened…

And here is me in my own little world thinking we had moved on from this king of thinking (assuming these posters are women as well)… sigh

Similarly I had this scenario from a former boss. I was in a profession that required hair to be tied up. My hair was always tied up.

This bully of a woman was newly promoted and was making a name for herself as someone not to be messed with. Ok that’s fine. I do my job it’s not a problem for me how you want to manage.

I hadn’t even started my shift yet but was in the building early and she walked past me, grabbed my hair and kept walking at pace.

I had no idea it was coming and nearly ended up on my arse, instinctively swinging a punch at whatever was attacking me.

Turns out HER boss was then absolutely livid as she’s essentially assaulted me for no reason other than to demonstrate you should always tie up your hair.

As an adult, I wouldn’t accept being pulled, touched, grabbed or made a shitty example of, so why are so many people here accepting it’s ok for their teenage daughters?!

Yes but it sounded like the teacher OP spoke to was already aware of it through several other students talking to several other teachers. So it doesn’t sound like there’s much dispute that her hair was actually pulled.

Irrelevant.

I would expect them to replace the supply teacher

No I'd not be satisfied, if your child had done it to her or even done it back to her bet they'd be doing more than just having strong words. I'd be telling them I was withdrawing my child from PE lessons until the supply teacher was gone and that teacher was not to approach my child for any reason.

And you have precisely zero evidence for that.

Why are people on MN always so desperate to say that no teacher can possibly be fallible?

Let’s say the Op came back and said

“oh it’s been hell. My daughter has repeatedly lied about perceived injustices in the past that have then been proven to be nonsense. She spends great deal of her time in detention and I’m at my wits end with her behaviour”

I would say that might be a teeny tiny bit relevant?

So it's OK for teachers to be aggressive towards children so long as it isn't random? That's bizarre.

😂😂.

I complained about a supply teacher unnecessarily yanking a student by the arm once. The child was flailing and tipping before the teacher caught them before they hit the floor. I was the only witness other than children and oddly, the supply teacher didn't agree that's what happened (the CCTV they weren't aware of did though...).

We reported them to the LADO and they were not welcomed back to the school again. As staff there, that's exactly what I had expected and also what I'd have pushed for had the child been mine, rather than a student at the school. A firm chat isn't good enough for deliberately causing pain to a child with no good reason (which this wasn't. It could have been mimed or explained verbally).

Teachers aren't angels. They're professionals and ones who do very regular training on not doing this sort of shit. No role should protect you when you work with children but hurt them on purpose.

(I was THAT parent at my kids school, and in my own I'm routinely listed by children as one of their Safe Adults. Because they know I will keep them safe no matter what, which is always the most important thing. I don't give a shit how much I need to push to achieve that and nor should anyone else. A teacher hurting kids to make a point shouldn't be in schools.)

It was never going to happen was it?!

Yes! Take it further. A strong word isn’t a consequence, if a child had done that to another child, there would be more of a consequence than a strong word. YANBU.

I'm not a soft mum by any stretch but I'm really shocked that any teacher would deliberately have physical contact with a pupil without good reason (ie immediate danger). Even more so that the teacher would grab/yank any part of the pupil at all, let alone roughly and enough to hurt.

That is seriously unacceptable. No wonder the teacher hasn't got a permanent job if that is the way she typically behaves.

I do have a lot of sympathy for teachers, they are doing a tough job. But having a tough job isn't an excuse to assault someone. Should I try it on my boss next time he annoys me? he's bald to be fair so nothing to yank

I hear WD40 is good for the sound of backpeddling

Where does it say that that is what the rules state?

I doubt @Hankunamatata can pull up this particulars sports policy

but it’s a reasonable assumption don’t you think?

that doesn’t make sense

The post asked why that would be relevant

I answered

Well… I think if you read the OP you would see that the teacher was already aware as not only the OP’s daughter reported but other students did to which indicates that even if in the past she was lying, she isn’t now. So your scenario would not be relevant either in this specific situation.