Teacher pulled my daughter's hair, do I take it further?

[RingsLikeTinnitis]

So yesterday my daughter (14 year old. In year 10 at school) came home and told me the PE teacher pulled her hair. It was a supply teacher and is covering short term because the usual teacher has had surgery. Apparently she was "using my daughter as an example" of why they needed to put their hair up for PE. She had said something along the lines of "what happens if someone goes like this?" And then fully yanked my daughter's hair. It wasn't a gentle pull, it hurt her and she was quite upset about it.

Anyway I was picking her up early at 10 this morning for an appointment so I spoke to someone about it at the same time. The person I spoke to was the safeguarding lead and already knew about the incident because my daughter had reported it to another teacher and a few of the other students had also said something to other teachers too. She said that she will be having a strong word with this supply teacher and my daughter should come straight to her if she has any more concerns/problems with her. She's probably going to be teaching for the next couple of weeks.

Do you think you'd be happy with the schools response to this?

Name and shame it

Did your DD actually have her hair tied up?

Would you be happy if, in a workplace health and safety training, a colleague yanked your hair to give everyone a demonstration? I would not.

What does this have to do with anything? If she was a badly behaved does that mean it’s ok for a teacher to pull her hair?

You don't know this hasn't been done.

The school have taken it seriously and have told you they are dealing with it.

I don't think it's appropriate to discuss her employment (or not) any further with a parent.

I must say im very much looking forward to shoving my colleague over the stack of boxes we have near the door as a practical demonstration of why we shouldn't have clutter in the corridor tomorrow

My late teen daughter has hypermobility in her neck and beginning of arthritis - if the teacher had done that to her it would have really hurt her. No I don’t think school’s response was enough it’s assault

Some bizarre responses on here. I’d be very unhappy if someone did this to me in the workplace and this is no different imo. Worse if you consider the power imbalance. And given that there is a comparison here with violent porn / rough sex, I’d be especially wary of this teacher and young girls.

strange amounts of victim blaming and minimisation above. The teacher didn’t need to touch her and this would be humiliating in any context.

This should happen. I work in schools and the teachers behaviour was unacceptable. Your poor daughter, this is really upsetting.

If someone did this to me in the workplace, as keeps being repeated on this thread, I would hope the person would be spoken to and perhaps given a written warning. I really don't think it warrants more than that - it is a strong response in itself. It sounds like the school are on top of it. Email to clarify sure, but I don't think you can expect much else nor should you be told what disciplinary action has been taken.

What's this got to do with anything? Her daughter could be the worst behaved child, I still wouldn't expect a teacher to lay a finger on that child. We've thankfully moved on since the 1950's and 60's when it was still common place for teachers to physically hurt children as a form of punishment.

Are you suggesting a teacher would be justified to yank a child's hair if they were misbehaving?

I don’t think students should be treated like adults, but I do think this is an occasion where the comparison is relevant - no one here would find it acceptable to have their hair pulled at work.

I would definitely put a complaint in writing to the school.

A young family member of mine went through major neck surgery after an accident and despite making a full recovery, their neck/top of their spine is full of rods and pins and they have to be careful what they are doing. The supply teacher has no idea if your child has previous medical issues and shouldn't be yanking at their head.

I would be shocked by this. Not sure why everyone is acting like no big deal. Imagine this happening in the work place (including if another member of staff did that to said teacher)
it’s really not on!
I’m not sure what could ask to be done but as a minimum that member of staff could apologise, or someone on her behalf. Because it wasn’t just painful and inappropriate but also likely humiliating for your daughter!

It's not acceptable to pull a child's hair. I would not want my child put in the position of having to report if anything happens again. I would expect to be assured the teacher would be told that they are not allowed to pull children's hair and they are not to do it again. I would also want to ensure my daughter wouldn't be treated unfairly by this teacher because they reported them.

What’s that got to do with it?

That was in response to @Atriangleabout comment.

Strong words with the supply teacher will probably do the trick. Leave it.

What would the consequence be if your daughter pulled someone else's hair?
A strong word?

Is she actually hurt? If she is not hurt I would just move on, it's reported, job done, don't create a witch hunt.

PE teachers are notoriously deranged! One female PE teacher at my son’s school is a tin foil hatter (thinks Covid was an hoax), and comes out with all manner of bizarre theories.

Luckily, DS doesn’t do PE anymore so doesn’t have to listen to her nonsense.

I do think you should take it further as your daughter was assaulted for no good reason.

I used to be SLT and I think this is a pretty lacklustre response.
At my old school, we would have told you when your daughter reported it and reassured you we were investigating.

If the teacher was found to be in the wrong and they were true supply e.g. from an agency, we’d release them and discuss with the agency - not our staff to discipline.

If they were internal cover, we’d use the school disciplinary procedure and the outcome would depend on the severity.

I wouldn’t be happy with someone having a word.

I’m really angry on your DD’s behalf, OP

can’t believe that some posters think it’s okay to put hands on a child unnecessarily, let let alone yank their hair.

what a massive red flag about that teacher.

I would take it further too.

How is that remotely relevant?

@RingsLikeTinnitis if I were in your position I wouldn’t take it further at this moment. But I do have a good relationship with the school. They spoke to you and open the line of communication between your daughter and themselves in case something else happened that she felt needed reporting. I would wait and see.

edited to say: I would however expect an apology. No teacher should put their hands on a child.

I'd be listening to the teacher's version of events before making any assumptions.