Teacher pulled my daughter's hair, do I take it further?

[RingsLikeTinnitis]

So yesterday my daughter (14 year old. In year 10 at school) came home and told me the PE teacher pulled her hair. It was a supply teacher and is covering short term because the usual teacher has had surgery. Apparently she was "using my daughter as an example" of why they needed to put their hair up for PE. She had said something along the lines of "what happens if someone goes like this?" And then fully yanked my daughter's hair. It wasn't a gentle pull, it hurt her and she was quite upset about it.

Anyway I was picking her up early at 10 this morning for an appointment so I spoke to someone about it at the same time. The person I spoke to was the safeguarding lead and already knew about the incident because my daughter had reported it to another teacher and a few of the other students had also said something to other teachers too. She said that she will be having a strong word with this supply teacher and my daughter should come straight to her if she has any more concerns/problems with her. She's probably going to be teaching for the next couple of weeks.

Do you think you'd be happy with the schools response to this?

Well if you’re not 100% sure, then you should leave it now. The teacher is being spoken to by the SGL and that should be enough not to embarrass further children.

I’d probably write her a note to get out of PE till this weirdo is gone. As long as she’s fit and healthy, missing a few weeks of PE won’t impact her future. I wouldn’t want to be around someone who pulled my hair, so I wouldn’t expect my daughter to either.

For what it’s worth I believe it probably did hurt. Some PE teachers are just sadistic freaks in my experience. Sad to see some of them are still like that.

Calm down.

and people wonder why there is a teacher recruitment crisis.

the school have dealt with it, it won’t happen again. I bet your daughter will also tie her hair up from now on too.

Why should it matter? Is it okay to physically assault a pupil who has a poor behaviour record, but not a top set one? No, obviously.

No teacher should actually make physical contact with any student and this is what their training tends to reinforce these days. It’s as much to protect them from malicious accusations as it is to ensure children are safe.

@RingsLikeTinnitis at this stage I think the response seems fair. I think you are probably entitled to follow up to ascertain what steps the school have taken (replacement supply teacher, reminder to staff over physical contact, etc) and possibly should expect your child to be given a formal apology, though?

If op said her DDs behaviour was awful, would that make any difference?

Op Id be ok with how the school handled it but would expect an apology to my DD from the teacher.

Why? Does whether a teacher gets physical with you all depend on whether you’re well behaved or not? 🤨

I would be very annoyed about this too but yes, I would be satisfied that the school's response was appropriate and wouldn't take the complaint further.

I mean, if a teacher hurt one of my dc, I'd go absolutely spare!

I'm amazing other parents would be so relaxed about someone your dc should be safe with hurting them!

I also have no intention of teaching my dc that they should put up with being physically hurt by anyone!

And she will forever remember the time an authority figure in a position of trust assaulted her to make a point. Good teachers don’t pull hair or otherwise bully students

What's this got to do with there being a teacher recruitment crisis? Are you suggesting that people don't go into the profession for fear of parents "overreacting" should they assault a child?

I know! Whats the world coming to when a teacher can't pull a kids hair without getting some sort of bollocking for it? Madness.

Not okay no. Not without checking what she was going to do with your daughter first. And even then I am not sure that it needed a demonstration either.

Absolutely not okay. She was rough with your daughter. I would complain.
The teacher needs to understand what she can and cannot do.

I would want to know and be sure the strong word with the teacher actually takes place. I would probably want it in writing. And an apology to your daughter.

She assaulted your daughter. Not a little tap on the arm. She overly firmly pulled up her hair so it hurt.

Nothing to get stressed about really. 🤷‍♀️

Hair needs to be tied back for PE. Your daughters hair wasnt tied back as the rules state.
Mountain out of a mole hill.
Your dd is embarressed is all and has manipulated you perfectly to deflect from the fact she should have had her hair tied back

Just to clarify my daughter had her hair half-up half-down so it was off her face but not completely up. The usual teacher doesn't require them to have it in a pony tail, just that it's off their face so she wasn't doing anything wrong by having it in the style she did. The supply teacher obviously had a different idea about how their hair should be, which is fine of course.

This reminds me of the time our swimming teacher pulled a lad out of the water and asked everyone why might this boy benefit from a few swimming sessions?

the answer was because he was fat.

his parents complained and I believe she was made to apologise

No way the teacher could have maybe, I dunno, used words instead?

The school sound like they have handled this well and appropriately. I’m not sure why you are posting. Park it and move on

Not sure what the AIBU is, because you're asking for opinions. It sounds to me like the school are taking it seriously?

I think I would want a written record, though. I would email the DSL (or ask for email to be forwarded to them) saying something like "this is my understanding of what we discussed today... please could you confirm this is also your understanding?" With a very short, factual and accurate record of the conversation, including what happened and what action the school is going to take.

Huh? What kind of sport involves grabbing hair? I can’t even think of how this hair grabbing thing would even be relevant and I think it’s shocking the teacher did that.

None that I can think of according to the rules, but plenty where someone might try and get away with it if they thought the ref/umpire wasn't looking.

Straight to victim blaming eh ...so this would have been ok if the girl was a trouble maker?

I mean was it rugby they were playing? I played hockey l, basketball, netball and athletics at school and hair pulling was never something anyone was concerned about. That would be a behaviour issue rather than something common place that needed to be demonstrated to the class by pulling a pupils’ hair!

The teacher has been told not to do it again and reprimanded for it. There's no reason to lose their job over it. Surely she deserves a chance to be better?

I can say from the perspective of a secondary school teacher, I have heard PE teachers laughing about pupils and talking about them in a derogatory way, including playing jokes on a child who was later diagnosed as autistic such as making them going and ask another teacher for a "long stand" etc. Not at my current school. Actually, an independent school that has recently closed.