Teacher pulled my daughter's hair, do I take it further?

[RingsLikeTinnitis]

So yesterday my daughter (14 year old. In year 10 at school) came home and told me the PE teacher pulled her hair. It was a supply teacher and is covering short term because the usual teacher has had surgery. Apparently she was "using my daughter as an example" of why they needed to put their hair up for PE. She had said something along the lines of "what happens if someone goes like this?" And then fully yanked my daughter's hair. It wasn't a gentle pull, it hurt her and she was quite upset about it.

Anyway I was picking her up early at 10 this morning for an appointment so I spoke to someone about it at the same time. The person I spoke to was the safeguarding lead and already knew about the incident because my daughter had reported it to another teacher and a few of the other students had also said something to other teachers too. She said that she will be having a strong word with this supply teacher and my daughter should come straight to her if she has any more concerns/problems with her. She's probably going to be teaching for the next couple of weeks.

Do you think you'd be happy with the schools response to this?

Yes, I agree it was a deliberate action, but we don’t know that the teachers intention was for the pupil to be hurt. There is often modelling, demonstrations and physical contact in schools. It’s rarely the intention that the pupils are hurt. More information would be needed before making a judgement.

It does feel like you are jumping the gun a little and imagining a deliberate assault by an irate teacher. Maybe this was the case, but we haven’t been told that by OP.

If they lost friends, started struggling academically and no longer happy all as a result of the school not firing a supply teacher? Well that would be a concern as to why!

Which is not what ‘teaching someone a lesson’ means!

Using DDs hair to show an example of what could happen is exactly that. A demonstration of a poor consequence that might occur.

Teaching someone a lesson means to punish or penalise them for a bad action so they will not do it again. There is absolutely no suggestion this was a disciplinary action as I’m quite sure DD would have simply put her hair up, as the supply teacher asked. There would be no reason to teach her a lesson.

OP does not say that supply teacher asked her to put up hair, DD refused, so supply dragged her out infront of class and pulled her hair to teach her (or the class) a lesson. 🙄

'Teaching the class a lesson' is loaded. It suggests the teacher retaliating for something the class has done wrong, which is not the same as 'demonstrating what can happen if you don't tie your hair up'. The OP intends the second.

Is not having a ponytail a ‘behaviour’?

I'm saying that it doesn't matter to me because thinking it's a good idea to pull a child's hair to show the class what can happen is bad judgement no matter the intention.

I was meaning lesson/example as the same thing. I didn't mean that I thought the teacher was definitely retaliating. No one can know that and as I said, it is the poor judgment of thinking it was a good idea in the first place.

What exactly is your point @Kirbert2 because it’s not entirely clear

I have already said that it was bad judgment on the part of the teacher.

My point is that as parents, it is our duty to act rationally and proportionally when supporting our children, even if we are raging inside. It’s actually about the best resolution for DD, the victim, not about soothing the parent. She’s 14 and deserves this to be about her, not her mother’s feelings. It looks like OP is acting quite rationally though, so this is good for the daughter.

I do not believe that withdrawing her from PE or indeed school completely is a proportionate response and that the DD may suffer as a result, as pointed out by PP. That would surely be a decision for DD in any event, not a parental knee jerk. She’s is not 5!

The teacher acknowledging her poor judgment and apologising to DD would be far more effective and a powerful demonstration of how to stand up for yourself, without hysteria.

Colloquial expressions can be a minefield!

It's certainly a risky strategy to pull a child's hair to illustrate a learning point.

Yeah, it’s not the same thing.

Either way, teacher shouldn’t have done it and an apology is in order.

Search?

Thanks

👍

Irrelevant comment, similar to asking what women were wearing at the time they were assaulted.

I went to our high school after my eldest said the math teacher was hitting her across the head and yelling at her for not understanding. I found out she was ex military. Teacher also told her she wasn't allowed to tell anyone about it! She was sent back for further training. I said i thought it would be common sense not to hit and scream at kids for not understanding - doesn't really help them understand more . We pulled her from that class until they guaranteed not to have her again.

And?

Criticising is the correct English spelling actually.Your 'criticizing' is US English- and not correct in the UK. You might want to check your facts before you CRITICISE people next time.

Yes, not having hair up for PE is a behaviour.

You forgot to add this: