AIBU to feel upset after my friend commented on DD's pull-ups?

[DearDog96]

For context: I have written on here before about my struggles potty training DD and acknowledge that I definitely should’ve started sooner and been more persistent so before you all come for me, I know what I should’ve done!

anyway… after school today one of my best friends from back when I was in school was round and DD needed changing (still in pull ups). She was only wet and all her stuff was downstairs so I did it in the living room (friend has seen it all before, she’s regularly round our house). Once I’d finished with DD she processed to make comments at DD about how she thought she was a big girl but might have to change her mind now she knows she’s still in nappies (she’s known all along which I found weird). She made a few other comments about how she’s too old for them etc.

I know a lot of it is true, and she’s probably trying to help by pressuring DD into using the toilet, but I felt it was a bit out of order and almost like she was indirectly calling me a shit parent. AIBU?

I have posted on some of your other threads. At this point, you must have received every possible piece of advice. But nothing changes. Your child still isn't toilet trained, she still has a bottle and a dummy. She's four and a half with no SN. It's ridiculous to treat her like an infant.

To be honest, I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable with these threads. I posted on earlier threads in good faith. But now I think there may be something else going on. I hope that other people will not offer any detailed advice or experiences.

It really isn’t this hard to potty train. Seriously. Can’t believe we’re still here. Poor kid.

I'm starting to think someone is getting a kick out of this

She’s posted many threads over 6 months… would be quite a weird thing to do

There are trolls with even odder obsessions, though…?

There are trolls who have been here for years.

Wow!! That’s crazy

What the how can trolls even do here

In July your post said she was still drinking a bottle and using a dummy. Unless she has SEN this really is a you problem. I feel sorry for her because not only must this be embarrassing for her she will be teased to no end.

I don't know why you quoted me, but I can fully assure you both my kids are toilet trained.😉

Is it bad if my 3-year-old DD uses them but she's SEN level 2

I quoted you because I agreed with you and wrote my reply sorry if it was confusing!

Well, in this particular area, you HAVE been a bit of a shit parent. You've basically admitted that. I also would have changed her in private, for your daughter's sake. It isn't teaching her good lessons about her body and privacy.

Thanks! 💁‍♀️

Talk to the doctor about this. It won’t be the first time they’ve been asked about how to break the dummy habit.

I know I shouldn’t say this. But it gives a faint (very faint) whiff of Munchausen’s by Proxy. Creating a problem with her child to get sympathy and attention. I know, I know, I’m probably being unfair. But these posts have been going on a long time and nothing has changed.

PO, you must be aware of the kid’s book Everybody Poops? It’s helped a lot of families with toilet training.

If anyone needs to be shamed it is not the child. OP should not have changed her in front of her friend who should also NOT be saying such things to the child. If she had concerns, she should have PRIVATELY raised them with OP. It’s not the child’s fault her mother won’t do what’s necessary to help her daughter grow up.

Turn the damn television off, OP. Take the child to the toilet. Of course, she doesn’t want to stop watching telly. Too bad. When she’s older she’s older she won’t want to get off her phone or computer. Again, too bad. Five? Seven? Ten minutes away from a screen, you need to teach her to do her business and then go back to what she was doing. If she has a tantrum, again turn the television vision off until she’s gone to the toilet. She is absolutely old enough to understand this. If you give up every time, what possible reason does she have to change her behavior?

It sounds to me like your friend was trying to help rather than be critical of you. Maybe you are feeling guilty about the fact your DD is not toilet trained so you felt criticised when there wasn’t really criticism there?

Half term would be a good time to sort this once and for all. Once you get through the training, it will be better for your daughter, her teachers and you.

Dentists can also give advice. Ours complemented our 3 year old on her lovely teeth and said the dummy should go. It really helped.

I am unsure why people are still posting, OP isn't coming back to this thread.

You’re posting… a full day after anyone else posted anything.

Our school had 6 children in reception class start in nappies this year. Seemingly no good (ie medical) reason, just lax parenting.

OP you need to get her toilet trained. Unless there is a medical reason for her incontinence then it’s unacceptable to have a 4 year old still in nappies for school. It’s not fair either on her or the school. You are being a negligent parent.

well done for your friend pointing out the obvious!