To cancel a day out over breezy attitude?

[MaybeOverthinkerNightmare]

Not sure if im being unreasonable here or expecting a little too much as I struggle to make friends and feel a bit disheartened with this situation.

I'm off work this week and have some childfree time to myself. I asked a friend if they fancied doing something like go fo a walk. They took a while to respond but eventually with a backhanded comment "sure a walk tomorrow then, what time?", I responded with a time and meeting place which was read and nothing further. We are due to meet tomorrow and haven't heard anything more from them since then.

A similar thing happened a few weeks ago when i invited them to lunch, had a great time (i paid) and went for an hour walk afterwards. Then I got ghosted or semi causal/vague responses to messages after that. I feel a bit disheartened that i get a sense they are just not interested and trying to placate me.

This has taken a lot of effort for me to put myself out there and make friends, instigating more rather than being led. I guess thinking a little enthusiasm or reciprocation would be nice but am I expecting too much? Is this actually how friendships are? Should I cancel and just move on from this situation?

She sounds very rude if nothing else

Hopefully now closure on this friendship

Is there any other friends that you could suggest a walk to?

I have one friend who, when asked by another to spend the weekend at her caravan told her "I'll come, but don't expect me to go on another walk".
Maybe your friend is not quite as blunt ......? Not everyone likes walking.

I would check back with "what a shame - Is everything OK?" What if her Mother's dying, you'll feel bad if you were just offended and didn't even check on her.

It"'s hard to spend time together if you dont know when you are going to meet😜

What’s confusing about a 👍?

She sounds like a bitch to be honest. I'd almost be tempted to ask her to go for lunch again, then if she accepts, (possibly expecting you to pay again), I'd cancel at short notice like she has. Then never contact her again.

What a way to live

Only be friends with people who recoprocate otherwise it's not really friendship..

I couldn’t disagree more. OP is trying to develop a new friendship, not easy at any age. Are our expectations so low, that we acccept a thumbs up and no further communication?? This would be fine for an existing friendship, but a new friendship? A little one-liner about looking forward to meeting is surely appropriate. Everyone seems to be talking like they are so busy 24/7 that all social graces are forgotten.

You have my sympathies OP. It’s tricky when you want to make friends, and it feels like your options are either instigate all the time or see no-one. Personally, with a new acquaintance, if I’ve instigated three times and still not getting any initiation back, I’ll drop the rope and move on. I think her ‘no other plans then?’ was a nasty comment, and in and of itself a sign that it’s time to move on.

The OP is trying to develop a new friendship, yes, but the other person involved presumably had no idea this was some kind of enormous big deal, assuming that she doesn't know the OP well enough to know that she has no other friends at all.

The other person almost certainly has other friends, replied to the OP as one of many WhatsApps and/or texts she will have received over the course of that day, and while she may like the OP, is almost certainly far less laser-focused on this single relationship. She can have no idea her every emoji was being examined for the requisite levels of enthusiasm, because for her it isn't a big deal.

If, like the OP, you are someone who struggles with friendships and is inexperienced, it's on you not to come on too strong, or expect too much from someone who can have little idea that one emoji, or one planned walk, can mean so much to someone else.

Hope you don't mind me asking, @MaybeOverthinkerNightmare, but is this person male? I'm only asking as I'm wondering, if it is, if he thinks you're interested in him. And the responses seem very 'male' to me. I could be way off the mark here, so feel free to ignore this (and please don't be offended) but it's just a feeling I get.

Irrespective of sex, it sounds like they're not particularly interested in a friendship and can't even bothered to be polite or friendly in basic interactions. In which case, you can do without people like this in your life, honestly.

I think you have just nailed it!!!

Also, @MaybeOverthinkerNightmare , I don't know why, but I'm getting the sense that this individual might only be interested in seeing you if there's something in it for them. Maybe I'm influenced by my own experience of being taken advantage of, but alarm bells are ringing (on your behalf!).

Whist I agree to a point, I think the OP’s only error here is not picking up that the other person isn’t interested. I don’t think it’s just a case of whether an emoji is enough, it’s whether he/she is interested in pursuing a friendship and they’re obviously not. I feel sorry for the OP and hope she finds her tribe.

Well, if you've been lucky enough to never have had so called friends that cause drama, you wouldn't know.

That's why relationships break down, whether it's friends, romantic or even family.
Some people just love drama.

Haha I have a friend like this. I know if we’re meeting up even on the hottest day of the year, it will be indoors.
It’s a sacrifice I make internally beforehand because I want to spend time with her

This is just speculation about the other person’s life. You assume all this from the complete lack of evidence presented in the OP’s posts. I think your analysis of the Op is also wrong. You assume she comes on ‘too strong’, expects ‘too much’ and is ‘laser-focused on a single friendship’ instead of querying whether or not she’s having her time wasted with someone that you actually know nothing about. The final response from this friend is plain rude with no acknowledgement of the OP’s feelings, they simply don’t care.

Not people I would be friends with

I remember Glenda B. Married a jerk (Kevin?) Had a cousin Iris who was jailed for trying to frame Glenda dad for rape

We have all been subjected to drama of one kind or another. The trick is to walk away from it and not engage, rather than stewing over it and allowing it to poison all subsequent friendships.

You sound too soft for your own good.

Christ almighty… no wonder people talk about “drama” in friendships. Who has time for this nonsense?

I know. Ghastly suggestion wasn’t it