AIBU to tell my daughter to report a flatmate's mother?

[Boxingshibes]

Dd went to university a couple of weeks ago. She is setting in well and likes her flatmates.
Unfortunately there seems to be a problem with one of them. She is an international student and her mum came over to help settle her in, all fine.
BUT
The mum is still there, sleeping in the same room as the daughter.
The rest of them are getting increasingly annoyed as she's just there and as she doesn't speak any English it's difficult to ask what her plans are.
When dd moved in her contract said that she wasn't allowed any overnight guests to stay more than 2 consecutive nights.
Its been 2 weeks!
I've told them to go to student housing/ welfare and say something. Maybe they can do something?
Surely at the very least it's a safety issue if there was a fire or something as this woman isn't supposed to be there?
The rest of them dont want to get this girl and her mum into trouble but if the mums visa runs out surely that's worse?
I know I can't do anything but how do I get through to dd?

See if you want to be snide. Do it in someone else's direction. I lived in a four in a block for 25 years however this isn't the situation we are currently talking about.

I really can't be effing arsed at this point. Hth!

I don’t know what a “4 in a block” is but I assume we agree it is quite hard and ultimately unnecessary for students to sign in and out of halls

Just google ‘how many foreign students get UK student loans’. The results will surprise you.

Its a block of flats with four flats on each landing and a ground floor then a 1 2 and 3 above it. Like a mini tower block. There can be other styles of four in a block but that was the kind I lived in

They don't. They pay international fees

Overseas students don’t qualify for student finance. they may qualify if already have indefinite leave to remain or EU settled status, but they aren’t overseas students they’re foreign nationals who have lived the uk for some time.

Is this Stirling uni by any chance @Boxingshibes ? I had this when I stayed in the halls of residence - lots of Chinese students and two of them brought their mums who didn't leave for about a month and shouted at us if we tried to use our own kitchen when they were in it! Used the oven constantly cooking things that smelled so bad and looked like eyeballs ugh. One of the Chinese students who spoke English was apologetic (it wasn't her mum, it was two of the others' mums). The rest of them didn't speak English and she would get them to record the lectures and translate for them, again mostly in the kitchen (loudly). We couldn't use our kitchen at all for the first few months it was stressful. Eventually one of the other girls complained to the warden of the halls we were in and the next day the mums were gone.

That's good op, sorry I posted before I read your update. It was a nightmare for me and the rest of the flatmates when it happened to us 20+ years ago, annoying to hear this still going on!!! Hope your DD can relax now.

I'd encourage DD to report no? Go to student accommodation rep? Slip an anonymous note under the door or email from a different email address if she doesn't want it traced back?

Sounds ridiculous, the mum should have rented a flat with her daughter if she was planning to live with her, that's putting a real dampener on the start of uni.

Separately, it used to annoy me no end when a flatmate (post uni, I was 24/25 and flatmate 25/26)'s dad - who was in a very respectable and well paid career btw - used to come and crash at our flat because it was near the train he needed after a work trip. He absolutely could have afforded a Travelodge! Flatmate used to give him her bed because he had a bad back and I'd come home to find her sleeping on a blow up mattress in the tiny kitchen (no living room). Once came home at 10pm and made a bagel over her head. She also invited him to stay during my insane exams period when I'd expressly said no when she asked me.

It takes at least 2 parties to make a contract. Most contracts have a clearly defined set of steps regarding what happens if one side or the other doesn't hold up their end of the deal (additional payments, arbitration. determination etc) beyond which, yes suing is an option.

I was going to suggest finding out who the hall monitor is. Usually it’s a senior student and they keep a general eye on things.

Why couldn't you just lock him out. No one gets in my flat unless I invite them in.

Well done those young women - it sounds as though the flatmate was no more happy with the situation than they were, but felt unable to deal with her mother and is grateful for their help.

On reflection I find this update a bit odd. The mum came all the way from China with the daughter and has left and it's all now woohoo! And the daughter is off out. She shouldn't have been there in the first place but if my mum had come all the way from China to settle me into uni I'd hope she had a hotel to go to at the very least.

The flatmate didn't have to ask her mother to stay in the accommodation in the first place

Perhaps she didn’t invite her. Perhaps the mum invited herself?

You can still say no surely. I would have been downright mortified if my mum had moved into halls with me.

I assume this is a set up where everyone has their own room and they share a communal kitchen?

Yes I saw….after I’d already commented.
My thinking is still that I wouldn’t be dithering over what to do. Personally I would have telephoned/emailed a week ago

Write the mother a polite letter in her own language, using Google TRanslate or AI, from you all and ask her what her plans are and explain politely that she cant stay as it is a safety and legal issue and you will all be in trouble, including her daughter.

Cantonese (Traditional):
亞媽，你唔可以喺學生宿舍度住，因為咁樣係違法嘅，仲會造成安全問題。你必須要盡快搵過第個地方住同埋馬上搬走。
English translation for your reference:
"Mum, you cannot stay in the halls of residence because it is illegal and a safety issue. You must find other accommodation and leave as soon as possible."

Maybe give a list of local b and bs😁

Well yes, I assume the mum has had to book a hotel and the daughter is relieved!! What’s confusing?

I think you’re assuming a similar dynamic to what you’re used to but culturally things are very different in mainland China if that’s where the flatmate is from.