AIBU to ask my sister to stop asking about the housekeeper?

[Backtothey2k]

I have a lovely housekeeper who comes every other day (not weekends). Yes, I know this might seem like a lot to some, but I don’t like cleaning. It is the last thing I want to do when I finish work. I like everything to be done so I can just get on with making dinner and spending time with my family.
Yet, every time my sister calls (we live in different parts of the country), she seems more interested in what my housekeeper has done today rather than me and her nephews. I just do not understand why she is so invested in it.
Would I be rude to ask her to stop asking about what the housekeeper has done? I just want to catch up with my sister, not talk about chores.

I find it baffling that people are inordinately interested and curious enough to be baffled by what the housekeeper does.

Fucking housekeeper 😂😂😂😂

your sister probably finds the whole house keeper shit hilarious, I can imagine her giggling to herself when she asks you what “the housekeeper” has done

In all seriousness though … does she keep you in fresh flowers? Because no housekeeper worth their salt would let the fresh flowers slip

I think it's this OP. So she can say, I can't believe @Backtothey2k has the House keeper do xyz for her.

It's either jealousy or wanting to see if she can justify getting one herself.

Totally get the annoying samey questions though. A friend always asks where I am when I call her, despite me saying I only call when home.
She'll then ask what room I'm in, even though I live alone.
Every single time!

My husband's family are also not in the UK and they too have always had what is known in their country as 'the house help'. Several people who are 'the' this that and the other. It has always made me feel a little uncomfortable tbh. Not that they employ people, but the way they are talked about. The house girl. The house boy. I've asked my husband for names before now. He can't tell me any of their names. I don't like it.

We have a housekeeper - they offer laundry, ironing, changing the bedding, taking in the food shop etc on top of regular cleaning. They describe themselves as a housekeeping service, not a cleaning company. It would be rude if I referred to him as the cleaner when he isn't.

I was raised in another country and my parents’ house has always had at least six members of staff. UK attitudes towards this intrigue me

@TheIntricaciesOfHarpUpkeepAndMaintenance I can't imagine the average UK household having a need for six members of staff. A cleaner and a gardener, maybe a cook. What else? - a chauffeur, a nanny? Other? Unless they are paying below the national minimum wage, having six members of staff would be prohibitively expensive for most people.

I have friends who have been posted overseas to countries where salaries are very low and they felt obliged to provide jobs for local people. I don't know how many staff they had though.

I don't think they're baffled. The OP has clearly stated what the housekeeper does and I assume they can read. If not then threads on here are going to be bloody hard for them. There aren't many pictures.

I think they are judging the op and this is more about how dare a woman outsource domestic tasks when as a woman she should be out at 6am scrubbing her front step like everyone else.

You'll have some tea... are you sure you don't want any?

😂

That's what you need to tell your sister!

There do seem to beva lot of people who don't understand the difference on here.

What do you mean? I have a part time housekeeper (she does 18 hours) and I move in normal “circles”.

@ITMA2000 , how nasty of you! Is that from jealousy or feeling inadequate?

I get your irritation, the reason she asks won't be simple interest, it will be judgemental in some way or other as pp have said. Reminds me of in the early 80s when I got a cleaner. A few of my colleagues had one and I remember one saying to me "Look after yourself love, no bugger else will" and I have never forgotten it. However my SIL obviously thought I was some kind of Margot Leadbetter and kept making joking references to my "daily" as she called her (she came once a week). In the end I just didn't answer, didn't say anything or completely changed the subject. I think she was probably offended, but tough shite, so was I. She did stop though.

How weird. Just say 'I've no idea, but I've been doing xyz'. Every single time.

Does she want to shame you for having a housekeeper instead of doing lots of cleaning? I mean I don't even know why she knows you've even got one and how often she comes.

If you want her off your back I guess you could say she's resigned. 'As my house was always so sparklingly perfectly clean she felt the work simply wasn't challenging enough.' 🤣

Mine too.

I think, given the responses on this thread, you must realise that most people don't employ housekeepers.

And some people have cleaners that do the chores that the OP describes, but they don't call them housekeepers. It's all in a name really.

Yeah I'm sure her husband's brother is also passive aggressively asking him to list the things HE hasn't done around the house because the housekeeper did them instead.

Why should only the woman feel guilty about having a cleaner or housekeeper?

Anyone else cracking up at some of these responses considering the chat the other day about the no responses to the advert for a cleaner because the OP
basically wanted a housekeeper and no cleaner would do any of that stuff 😂

Haha, that's a good one!

Nothing as I'd done it all when she came.

Do they describe themselves as a cleaner? Because of they do then that's ok but they describe themselves as a housekeeper it's really rude.

"My person" says it all really. The irony!!

It's not all in a name really. We specifically wanted someone who changed the bedding as I hate it and DH had a long term injury at the time which meant he couldn't. The cleaners we spoke with would do that and all said we needed a housekeeping service, which is what we employed. It's like expecting an MOT station to do valeting - some will, most won't.

Haha! Or go down the embarrassing route...'she's just popped a load of butt plugs in the dishwasher. Surprisingly effective method of cleaning them I've found.' 🫠😬

Maybe your sister can relate more to the housekeeper's day than yours?