AIBU to ask my sister to stop asking about the housekeeper?

[Backtothey2k]

I have a lovely housekeeper who comes every other day (not weekends). Yes, I know this might seem like a lot to some, but I don’t like cleaning. It is the last thing I want to do when I finish work. I like everything to be done so I can just get on with making dinner and spending time with my family.
Yet, every time my sister calls (we live in different parts of the country), she seems more interested in what my housekeeper has done today rather than me and her nephews. I just do not understand why she is so invested in it.
Would I be rude to ask her to stop asking about what the housekeeper has done? I just want to catch up with my sister, not talk about chores.

Lol

This. It’s simple!

"Oh the usual... makes my life 100% better. How's Johnny's new tutor working out? ".

Like people on MN perhaps she judges you for buying in the help. Not much you can do about it.

Does a housekeeper charge a higher hourly rate than a cleaner?

I always imagine that middle class people have a cleaner while upper class people employ housekeepers.

You call also get a housekeeper part time! When you share with another family for example.

I’d be asking so I could get more material for imagining my dream life! A housekeeper would be kept very busy in this house, I would love someone to put the laundry away and tidy up and just do ‘stuff’. Our cleaner is great but she just does ‘clean’.

You actually believe that each thread on mumsnet is the only thing each OP has to worry about in their life?

”Why do you ask?”

I think you wanted to tell us about your housekeeper.

Whenever you list the things your housekeeper has done, aren’t you basically listing the household chores YOU personally haven’t done. Does she like getting you to announce all the things you haven’t done yourself but passed on to someone else to do. I can imagine someone I used to know doing just this. On paper of course it’s just healthy curiosity.

Just don't answer the question or change the subject, every time she asks. If she still doesn't get the message don't answer her calls. Some cleaners stray into a bit of housekeeper territory sure, but most don't clean and tidy and iron and put your laundry / groceries away and any other jobs you ask them to do. Good for you OP, I'd have a housekeeper in a heart beat, especially one that did the bloody food shopping. Crack on.

I can never understand why on MN there are so many posters eager to explain why a sahm of school age children has loads to do but a housekeeper couldn't possibly fill their time.

I just have a cleaner but we easily do several hours of chores a week even though she takes care of the cleaning so I don't hard to believe she has enough to do

She’s your sister: you should be able to just ask her why she keeps banging on about the housekeeper.

I’m surprised people think it’s a lot. My mother always had a housekeeper about 2/3 times per week for as long as I can remember.

She was very busy, self-employed, 2 children and has always hated household chores. She still has one every 2 weeks now that it’s just her.

I would love a housekeeper/helper/assistant - whatever you prefer to call the role. Maybe one day! Just another body really, to do, or help with whatever is needed. Good for you - enjoy y2K.

I’d just reply each time and say, she housekeeps or I’ve no idea.

I’m always baffled when you can practically feel posters bristle at the mention or thought of other women having a cleaner or help in the home. It happens in real-life too. It’s almost as if these posters/other women feel women should be chained to the kitchen sink as well as working full time and caring for a family. How dare they get notions above their station and pay someone to help their family out with housework.

I’m amazed you don’t even realise that the vast majority of women have never had a housekeeper and never will, so how would they know what a housekeeper does or doesn’t do.

A not so stealthy boast.

This. And to bother creating a post about it?

Actually they charge similar rates as a cleaner as a rule but they end up costing more because of their role they need more hours. Obviously experience and location dependent

As an aside all people I know with a housekeeper have them in everyday and they usually cook dinner.

Anyone else wonder what kind of circles @IcedIslandLongTea moves in?

I have friends with cleaners, but none with housekeepers.

Thank you to the wonderful people that answered my OP. It’s not AMA so I won’t be answering any questions. If I wanted to do that I’d speak to my sister 🤣

Why not just ask your sister why she is so obsessed with your housekeeper?

You want me to give you a rundown of her daily tasks every time we talk. Why is that? Why does it matter to you? Are you wanting to hire one?

A housekeeper traditionally also manages other household staff, hires as needed and manages the household purchases and budget. It's not a very common position these days, certainly not in the UK, maybe that's why people are a bit confused.

Please do an AMA! I find it interesting!

My housekeeper cleans, tidies and organises rooms/cupboards/wardrobes, does laundry, irons, changes sheets, waters the plants, puts away shopping (food or other) and probably a dozen or so other things that I don’t even notice. She’s also trained in and happy to do childcare, which we don’t typically need, but can be useful if the kids are home sick and I need to wfh.

I was raised in another country and my parents’ house has always had at least six members of staff. UK attitudes towards this intrigue me.

OP, I’d just ask her why she keeps asking.