AIBU to ask my sister to stop asking about the housekeeper?

[Backtothey2k]

I have a lovely housekeeper who comes every other day (not weekends). Yes, I know this might seem like a lot to some, but I don’t like cleaning. It is the last thing I want to do when I finish work. I like everything to be done so I can just get on with making dinner and spending time with my family.
Yet, every time my sister calls (we live in different parts of the country), she seems more interested in what my housekeeper has done today rather than me and her nephews. I just do not understand why she is so invested in it.
Would I be rude to ask her to stop asking about what the housekeeper has done? I just want to catch up with my sister, not talk about chores.

Yeah I never understand why cleaners won't iron. Fair enough if they don't like it/aren't good at it/not on their job description but at the end of the day if they're e getting paid they're e getting paid so why would it bother them?

I have never come across a cleaner who wouldn't iron.

The cleaners I have had have all been middle aged ladies with older children and actually all of them have been clear that they would happily babysit too! I did that a couple of times in mat leave for things like dentist appointments because the baby saw them once a week and was fairly familiar with them

I have never come across a cleaner who wouldn't iron.

Maybe it depends on how messy the house it and how many hours they are contracted to do? Perhaps there isn't enough time to iron after they have done the cleaning?

Ok ops gone so here is my speculation.

Op has recently come into some money, hired a "housekeeper" because, you know, that sounds fancier to both the cleaner and her. This newly rich lifestyle is fascinating to her family who asks questions. She wanted to humble brag about that a little bit here so raised the question. Got upset when people saw through it and ran away cos she can't give a back story without tangling herself up more.
Now is looking to up her game by looking for a "butler" who is actually a housekeeper.

Oh sure - but not having enough time to do it isn't the same as just saying "no, I don't do that"

Final update to the people that actually answered my OP. I spoke to my sister this morning, told her about this post. Because clearly can’t be any worse than any of the insane responses on here. Firstly she thought to was hilarious and said the reason she asks is because she’s just intrigued by the service provided and maybe a bit envious . Also to add my sister herself has a cleaner . And she asked if any of you know the number of a cleaning agency . That work 8 hours a day , are there to help get the kids ready for school in the morning . There when they arrive home , look after the pets , organise and take care of the entire house can she have there number . Because her cleaner just cleans

Previously you just saud that they also do ironing, change bedsheets etc. You didn't mention childcare. Surely childcare should be done by someone qualified to do it?

I was thinking the same. The Americans call their cleaners / domestics housekeepers. A genuine housekeeper would be most offended!

I've just seen your update and can see that your sister has (quite graciously and good humouredly) admitted she is envious and curious. As indeed am I!

Our former neighbour (rich single dad) had a housekeeper and I was fascinated too, initially thinking it was a posh word for cleaner but he told me more and she would also do stuff like:

Check through the fridge and cupboards, chuck out of date stuff and write a list so he could decide if it needed replacing.
Add any basic items needed to his Ocado shopping basket.
Go through the kids clothes and identify all the ones that were outgrown or tatty and list what needed replacing.
Co-ordinate any trades including arranging/liaising with window cleaners, dog walker, gardener, boiler service, running repairs and maintenance. Even sent the knives out to be professionally sharpened every 6 weeks.
Put the shopping deliveries away.
Collect prescriptions (including the dog's medication) and dry cleaning.
Put bins out on the relevant days (she did ours too when we were on holiday).
Wrap birthday presents for the kids to take to parties.
After hearing all that I really wanted a housekeeper too!!! She definitely did clean too but so much more!

Or, she’s using ‘housekeeper’ because that’s what the housekeeper refers to herself as, and the role she fulfills.

Cleaner and housekeeper are different jobs and as such have different titles. What is ‘fancy’ about it? Also, why is ‘fancy’ something you feel the need to denigrate?

Totally agree. It was Mrs Danvers in Rebecca by the way and she and Mrs Hughes are perfect examples.

It's another first world problem.... sigh 😔. Now, what can we each do to make the world a better place?

Hahaha u r hilarious op! Guess what n.r. stands for. You! Diagnosis correct. Enjoy your new housekeeper and everything else 🤣

That's the crux of it!!!

Trying to take someone down a peg or two for no reason.

How dare OP have/afford/want a housekeeper.

Unfortunately, misery loves company as they say.

Sounds more like a cleaner - my late mother had a house keeper who did everything including admin, making appointments, ordering groceries, shopping and occasionally driving.

FML why are people so pendantic! I’d love a housekeeper OP, but can’t find one that will come with that frequency. No you’re not BU for getting annoyed about your sister asking. I’d lay it on when she asks next and say oh you know polished my tiaras, steam cleaned my furs etc. then move the conversation on!

I know quite a few people with a housekeeper - mainly people in west London (none are from the UK, perhaps it is more common in other countries). Some housekeepers cook, some don’t.

A friend took her nanny on as housekeeper once her child had got too old for a nanny. The friend had a very serious (and well paid) job and the nanny / housekeeper fitted in very well with the family. She cleaned but also managed the life admin. When they had rooms repainted, she managed the decorators. She sorted the requests from school, supervised homework, sorted the dry cleaning. My friend said it was like having a wife but a super cheerful, pleasant wife.

My Dad had a housekeeper, hopeless as a cleaner, but brilliant at making sure he had clean sheets, all the shopping he needed and company when he felt poorly.

She worked 3 mornings a week at first then gradually up to 5 days. She was a godsend.
When he got really sick she looked after me as well.

I just happened to see this advert on Next Door so I thought I would copy and paste the beginning about duties - for the sake of the OP. NB We live in the north of England
Wanted - a reliable part time housekeeper. Duties will include cleaning, ironing, washing and general housekeeping tasks for the family. Hours negotiable but approx 6 to 10 hours, 3 days weekly.

Some of these comments are rude. I was housekeeper for 2 women who were married and had 2 dogs. My stepdad said "how much mess can 2 WOMEN make?" (Misogonist)
My tasks were...
Laundry, ironing, cleaning, dishwasher loading and putting away, dog care
Took 4 hours a day
I bet they came home and cooked dinner after work

On the flip side I applied for a job as a housekeeper at this huge house. The owner wrote me a helpful list of what they expected. It was like..
Bathroom (10 minutes)
Kitchen (10 minutes)
And so on for every room
The whole house was a pigsty so god knows why they thought it would be such a quick job

This is peak MN

Schrödinger’s housekeeper: simultaneously a housekeeper and not a housekeeper, a cleaner and not a cleaner, depending entirely on whether the poster is envious of an independent woman paying money to another independent woman for reasonable services.

Does she wear a uniform? What is it that she does beyond cleaning?

This thread has been fascinating. All those people who I would guess have never had a cleaner telling OP what one is. I have had cleaners for years and none of them has done everything OP's housekeeper does. Generally speaking they clean after I have done the tidying. One even explicitly refused to vacuum a room because there were toys on the floor (she didn't last long). Some, I must admit have been a bit more accommodating.
I would have loved a housekeeper to do all the jobs I hate doing but my budget never ran to it.
As to getting your sister to stop asking about her, OP. I think you are on a losing wicket. Just accept that she, like half of MN, is fascinated by the subject of housekeepers.

This really takes the biscuit. Now you are telling OP who can look after her children. If she and the children are happy that's all that matters.
Incidentally, I think you would be hard pressed to find a nanny who would do housekeeping duties. Much easier to find a housekeeper who will look after the children for short periods.