AIBU to feel hurt my husband will not visit my gallery display?

[NewAquaHare]

my Art is being displayed for the first time in a gallery which is 2.5hrs drive away. My husband says it’s too far to go and it’s not his thing anyway. AIBU to be upset by his lack of support? If it was the other way round I’d be excited to go and see it. He says it’s my hobby not his.

Well done! Great achievement. But tbh, I would probably go with spouse and see it but I wouldn’t go out of my way because it’s not my thing either and I wouldn’t expect him to if it was the other way around. I can see it’s a fantastic achievement though.

I know the gallery and Scarborough very well. Congratulations! It’s a lovely building to have your art displayed in.

It’s only a “five hour round trip” if you literally drive there, see your art, then drive home again. You can easily have a weekend in Scarborough. The train station is a stone’s throw from the gallery. There will be a ton of cheap holiday flats now we’re heading out of season. The new Alan Aykbourn play is on at the Stephen Joseph Theatre (opposite the train station) and is getting great reviews. The theatre also has a fantastic cafe/restaurant to visit even if you don’t see a show there.

The surrounding area has stunning countryside and you can visit Anne Brontë’s grave in St Mary’s churchyard. The castle is also worth a visit. As a PP said, you can get to Whitby very easily as well.

Take your daughter away for a weekend, you’ll have a lovely time

Congratulations OP ..that's lovely...can you take a friend and really have fun?

Moving forward @NewAquaHare one things for sure. I would not put myself out for him ever again, unless it’s something I wanted to do. Don’t go to bike rallies don’t go to concerts that you don’t want to. just say ‘no thanks it’s not my thing’. Don’t swim an ocean for someone who wouldn’t jump a puddle for you. To me love is doing the things we don’t always want to do or like just to see the joy in our partners eyes.

I'm really sorry that you're even questioning this.

I did an evening class at an art school and we hobbyists were invited to display our work in the same way that the full-time students did. Our work was very amateur in comparison, but some of my friends came with me and we went for dinner to celebrate because that's what people who care about you do. It was all displayed beautifully and you're right, it's completely different to seeing the piece at home.

In your case, you've basically auditioned and been accepted, so it's a huge achievement.

I hope you go with your daughter or anyone else who will be supportive, and that you make a day of it and have a nice lunch or similar.

I’m so glad you are going to go and take your daughter. I hope you can make a lovely day of it - you both deserve it. How wonderful for you do be a chosen and displayed artist and for your daughter to see how talented and recognised her mom’s passion is. Get someone to take a photo of you and then two of you next to your work and really enjoy your achievement. I’ve driven 2hrs to get to the beach for the day, and Scarborough will be a lovely day out anyway especially with the chance to see your work. I’ve had a look at the Instagram for the gallery and the exhibition. If you were my friend or family (and definitely partner) I would absolutely love to plan the trip with you. Seeing your work expertly displayed in context next to other amazing works is totally different to seeing it propped up in the dining room. Make a fuss of yourself - this is important.

I think what you have achieved is great however I could see my husband saying the same thing. I could see him refusing to travel on a 5 hour round trip simply to see a painting that he has already seen hung on a wall in a gallery when he has already seen it hung on a wall at home.
If it had been an opening night I think that it would be a different matter.
Don't be too hard on him and don't let it spoil the enjoyment of your achievement.

My so-called partner gave me the excuse that his dog wasn't well when it was my book launch a couple of years ago. I asked him too to read my PhD submission (only part of the first chapter, for confirmation review) he moanbed it's "not my barrow" and said the print was too small.

Now he is an ex.

Was that the unpublished one in draft??

Is he jealous of the attention you will so rightly recieve? He should be very proud of you, & should be by your side. Congratulations to you, what a wonderful achievement. Do not let him take away your moment of glory. I certainly hope you have a wonderful time and sell lots of your creations 👏👏👏

@NewAquaHare
May I first Congratulate you
And the fact that your art is so good
You are been hung in a gallery!
As for your green-eyed donkey of a husband
He's just plain jealous and resentful
Of course you're upset he's not attending
But be thankful he won't be there and sour the happy occasion

Can you make a weekend of it with your DD?

It is one work which DH has seen.
How about planning a weekend away near the gallery?
Make the exhibition one of a few lovely outings to share together.
Stay somewhere restful and enjoy yourselves.

What a missed opportunity by him. He could have booked a night in a hotel or BnB and made a weekend of it, or if finances don’t allow that, he could have planned a lovely day trip to add to what would already be an amazing day out. What an achievement and congratulations. To create a piece of art that then wins a competition to be included in an exhibition that’s running for several weeks is pretty damn incredible. Being your first time too. He should be beaming. So proud of his wife. And he isn’t. How sad.
Mind you, he is a cyclist, which perhaps says it all 😂.

I hope you happen upon a chance meeting at the gallery of the man you are meant to spend the rest of your life with.

I am an artist and know how hard it is to have your work selected for show at a gallery.
Congratulations, this is huge, tell your friends and family and celebrate.
It is a very special moment in time, you may exhibit again but this show is now, enjoy your moment.
Your husband is a killjoy, I would be rethinking the relationship.

Congratulations, @NewAquaHare! You should be feeling thrilled.

But - why on earth do you and your daughter have to go and see your work ‘quietly’? Heaven’s sake! Book a hotel, dress up, go out to dinner and celebrate with her. It’s up to you to help her understand that your life and achievements are important and worthy of celebration. You don’t want her in therapy in thirty years weepily recalling her poor mother’s sadness …

And of course tell all your family and friends and colleagues. People are surprising - you don’t know which among them might find your achievement really noteworthy and exciting.

As for that other person - fuck’em!

This is a perfect post to demonstrate how an abusive person destroys someone from the inside out.

It’s so quietly done, yet it reaches out into every inch of your world.

It isn’t just a case of him not going and that making you feel bad/sad. The way he has gone about it has also limited your ability to ask to go with a friend or family member. You’ve been manipulated in such a way that he’s actively made you limit YOURSELF and treat YOURSELF as someone not worth being excited about and possibly even stop yourself from going at all.

this is calculated. And no doubt has been going on for years. He’s abusive and nasty and he’ll never change. Please don't let him diminish you. (Or that strange poster being disparaging about an event that they seem to know all about and have taken an interest in).

if in doubt, treat yourself the way you would want someone to treat your daughter in this situation. Go. Take a photo with your work on the wall. Enjoy it. Be proud. As you should be.

I'm sorry but what an ass hat. He should be thrilled for you and as for the 2 5 hours drive, you'd make a day of it or even stay in a hotel the night before and have a meal together. He should be piling in the car with you excited that you are talented enough to warrant an exhibition. This is a big thing for you and his complete lack of enthusiasm shows him up to be an unsupportive, selfish, undemonstrative miserable arse. I would be fuming........

Sadly you could be right :-(

Bless you. I know how hurtful it feels to be snubbed by someone who should be your biggest supporter.

well done, id be over the moon if i was you.

please don’t waste this wonderful opportunity, go with a friend or with your daughter, book a hotel, make a fun unforgettable weekend of it and don’t discuss it any further with your selfish arse of a husband.
worst comes to the worst go alone but still make it an event just for you, dinner out, hotel etc, soak up the art and anything else on nearby

perhaps a good time to evaluate the balance of your relationship

Totally get your disappointment as I know just how hard it is to get art into an exhibition. It's a huge thing. No matter that it is only 1 piece and its 2.5 hours away. It's what it means to you. Anyone who understands what 'support' means in a partnership should get that.

You’re selling it well, I’m almost tempted !

Take the art completely out of the equation for a moment. What kind of a relationship is it where you wouldn’t just go for a nice day trip to Scarborough or even make a little weekend away out of it? What exactly is more important than spending time with our loved ones? Seems pretty miserable to me. What’s he doing to be doing instead that’s so important? Washing the car, checking his emails?

Many congrats. If I were your friend, I would come and look, never mind your husband. This is very sad. What an achievement though. Please be proud. I have no creative skills and really admire those who do!!

Well done. What an amazing achievement!

Your selfish husband isn’t worthy of you or your time.