AIBU to worry CMS deductions could push my son into crisis?

[Wokeuptired]

My son split from his ex almost 2 years ago, they have 2 children together and 1 child that my son brought up as his own, their was lots of drama in the relationship and his ex was very demanding, my son paid her maintenence every month and paid for other things for her like the sky bill and some h/p goods, at the end of last year my son took a very serious attempt at taking his own life and he got sectioned, he obviously couldn't work but his ex was still demanding money from him, In March he got his old job back but he had to save for a deposit and furniture as well as pay for prescriptions food fuel to get to work, he was around £200 short each month and we helped him out with that, during this time his ex refused to let him see the children and he has not seen them since January, he had an upcoming court case to get to see them, as the eldest isn't his biologically he had to get a lawyer to help him as he wants her included.
Now the CMS are involved and they have taken £1700 out of his wages this is £700 for the month and £1000 in back pay as they calculated this from December last year, this leaves my son with around £500 after tax, he can't live on £500 as he can't even cover his rent with that, he has just got himself sorted financially but still owes money.
He doesn't know what he can do as he has phoned CMS and they said it has to be that amount and he explained the situation.
He has been to his boss to see what can be done and if he leaves this job he will break his contract with them and they won't employ him again, he can't go part time and then do work on the side to make the money up.
He just can't afford to work, it's ridiculous as he doesn't want to go on benefits as he also pointed out that it won't help his mental health.
What can he do?
I'm just so worried that he is going to try and end his life again as this seems like a no win situation.

He owes 9000 in vack pay cms? How did it get so much?

I would imagine he stopped paying after he attempted suicide and was sectioned. Is that a good enough reason for the backlog?

So he didn’t look at the bottom right and see net pay: £xxxx and think oh that’s what’s coming in or better yet he could have sent it to you the functioning adult and you could have told him this before all of this hassle. It sounds to me as though he doesn’t want to work because what kind of human would sit there and think oh the first thing I need to do to get out of paying is quit my job and rely on benefits this is waaaay to much this. Something fishy

Kids don’t just stop needing food or shoes because you need to buy a car. He should have carried on the payments at the start of the year.

CMS calculate what is owed from when the other parent submits the claim. It sounds like they had their own arrangement in place, he stopped paying so she has gone to CMS.

Did he really think you can just stop paying and you get a free pass for those months

This. You were arguing the toss that the figures absolutely were right when people were telling you they couldn’t be.

what a disingenuous thread.

Yes this sounds like a right old minestrone of bits, pieces, and misunderstandings.
The plain ££ facts will surely indicate a clear path for him now (and necessarily leaving aside the eldest child, who’s not his own, as there is no room for his sentimental attachment at this juncture, and a very clear picture of responsibilities is essential)

[You haven’t spelled it out, naturally, but the circs which brought on his psychological crisis were not necessarily to do with child support payments, or his treatment by his ex, etc.
Yet a leap to linking all these matters is invited, as it stands, and I’d counsel against leaving any such impression with whatever advisers you all meet with. ]

@ThisUmberSwan You are talking about a mentally ill man with dyslexia (that makes reading hard in case you didn't know)

Fun fact dyslexia is often worse when someone is under stress, such as a suicidal person might be.

Money is stressful. At no point did OP say her son wanted to get out of paying what he owed.

seasoned user of the CMS here - For them to have taken such a large amount of money in one go, he will have to have been dodging payments for YEARS. It takes years upon years to get the CMS to take that kind of action, if they ever do! I’m 11 years in and they STILL won’t take this kind of action against my ex.

Either that or he is lying through his teeth about the amounts

That’s embarrassing. Imagine putting that online.
Your brother should be ashamed of himself.

A basic calculation would be around £167 per week after allowable deductions. Obviously that depends on circumstances - whether there is shared care etc. The fact that you have a shared child living at home with you is relevant - his weekly income would be reduced by 11% before the calculation is made to account for that.

CMS dont do balloon payments you can offer to pay more than minimum or make a one off payment but they wont take payment that big my ex owed thousands at one point it took them months to get an attachment of earnings then they took their minimum plus fees plus a small amount towards the arrears

Cancel the cheque!🙄

(In other words, people, read all of OP's posts.)

The calculation doesn’t seem to be making sense, my ex earns around that net. And when he had zero contact it was only around £300isj for two kids. Where have they got £700 from?

It doesn't make sense because, despite the OP saying it was definitely what CMS was taking and that she had seen all the paperwork, it is not what CMS is taking.

I have no sympathy, he decided to have children knowing full well that includes financial responsibility. He needs to pay for his kids.

Or alternatively, as OP has updated, he has dyslexia and hasn’t read the figures properly. Which you would know if you’d seen the update before posting.

What? It was not accurate, we all knew that right away. And OP has actually checked the thing now and has confirmed that her figures were nonsense.

No sympathy for what ? What do you think OP is asking here ? Who is saying he won’t pay for his kids ? Certainly not the OP.

I’ve just seen, seems all a bit fishy. So he’s paying £300 in arrears and £158 in maintenance? He’s getting a good deal.

I was replying to another poster and if you read the comment, my reply makes perfect sense.

Sympathy for him struggling mentally about it. Surely that is clear?

@aliceyyyy2654 The man was mentally ill, and sectioned. This was not a choice.

Would you have said the same if he had cancer and unable to earn.

He didn't not pay for the fun of it. He was seriously ill.

It makes no sense to not accommodate his mental health, if he is pushed to suicide and did end up dead the children would lose a father as well as any additional financial security he provided.

I have no issue in saying NRP should pay for their children, but to disregard their mental health is callous and short sighted.

the OP says he stopped paying for his kids for three months.

hes able to pay now, has a job and is moaning about the CMS recovering funds he OWES to the mother of the children he chose to have. Again, no sympathy. She asked for feedback and I’ve given it.

Only after you edited it. Your first post (which was what the PP responded to) claimed that the OP's first post gave an accurate CMS calculation. Which, no, didn't make sense (and turned out to be completely wrong - a fact you tried to hide by editing).