AIBU to worry CMS deductions could push my son into crisis?

[Wokeuptired]

My son split from his ex almost 2 years ago, they have 2 children together and 1 child that my son brought up as his own, their was lots of drama in the relationship and his ex was very demanding, my son paid her maintenence every month and paid for other things for her like the sky bill and some h/p goods, at the end of last year my son took a very serious attempt at taking his own life and he got sectioned, he obviously couldn't work but his ex was still demanding money from him, In March he got his old job back but he had to save for a deposit and furniture as well as pay for prescriptions food fuel to get to work, he was around £200 short each month and we helped him out with that, during this time his ex refused to let him see the children and he has not seen them since January, he had an upcoming court case to get to see them, as the eldest isn't his biologically he had to get a lawyer to help him as he wants her included.
Now the CMS are involved and they have taken £1700 out of his wages this is £700 for the month and £1000 in back pay as they calculated this from December last year, this leaves my son with around £500 after tax, he can't live on £500 as he can't even cover his rent with that, he has just got himself sorted financially but still owes money.
He doesn't know what he can do as he has phoned CMS and they said it has to be that amount and he explained the situation.
He has been to his boss to see what can be done and if he leaves this job he will break his contract with them and they won't employ him again, he can't go part time and then do work on the side to make the money up.
He just can't afford to work, it's ridiculous as he doesn't want to go on benefits as he also pointed out that it won't help his mental health.
What can he do?
I'm just so worried that he is going to try and end his life again as this seems like a no win situation.

My SiL went to CMS and actually ended up with significantly less than the voluntary payments her ex was making. He paid the CMS and contributed additionally to household expenses to make sure the kids had what they needed. It was a money grabbing exercise on her part that backfired badly. I don’t think it’s an isolated incident somehow.

If it was a 50/50 split wouldn't CMS be no payment either way?

PP says her brother pays £1400 for 4 children - I presume this is a CMS calculation (otherwise the post is irrelevant) so either it's not a 50/50 split or the parents don't have a good co-parenting relationship and have gone through CMS, thus unlikely the brother is paying additional.

Maybe I'm entirely wrong. I hope so.

They don’t just take from wages for no reason

How is a roof over his head - mandated by a social worker for access to his children - a luxury ? Could you manage on £500 a month ?

I think you can get a reduction from looking online if he is facing financial hardship! The prices are ridiculous- my brothers ex wife is on benefits as she refuses to work and is having her entire rent paid for- he gives the kids money every weekend as well as she doesn't use the child maintenance on them but rather buys her new boyfriends weed. So she is sitting on about 4k per month money for doing nothing as UC doesn't take into account Child Maintenance. My brother is well off so isn't struggling, but the whole system seems to be a pisstake.

I don't understand how he can have £9k of arrears if he was making payments up to December. Even if the £700pm is correct that's over a year's worth of non payment?

So did he stop making the voluntary payments when she went through CMS because she was money grabbing? Surely only the children were disadvantaged by that.

This - and make sure he's submited pay slips and any supporting documents to them.

I suspect something has gone wrong with calculation somewhere working on incorrect information - as most women I know get a pittance.

The issue seems to be the rate at which he's paying his arrears off.

My ex built up arrears of £22, 000.
He is repaying at £100 a month, despite earning 4-5 times what I do, as ordered by CMS.

£1,000 sounds a lot.
Would the ex be amenable to a reduced repayment rate, for a longer period?

Actually, it doesn't matter if she's desperate or not, they're his bloody kids. CMS will not make him pay for a child that isn't his so they don't need challenging.

Men who leave their families and fight against paying a fair share towards their kids make me puke

Indeed. "That'll show HER" right?

Correct, my brother is always away for his work so he pays in full (kids are older now 12, 14, 16 and 18) so he sees them when they aren't busy with friends etc- so its based on not very many overnights. He takes them away with him and has them over loads and they spend nearly every weekend on days out or hanging at home with him but rarely stay over as they like going home.

@CandyCrushLevel14809 I knew it would be something like this. A family member went through something similar. He still contributes more but kids are old enough for their own bank accounts. So he will CMS what is needed and then give more directly to kids + purchase trainers / clothes / pay school trips - whatever the child says they need.

This.

Yeah, he pays for all their clothes, two of their driving lessons, all of their sports activities, gives them all money weekly for seeing their friends and takes them to do something one day every weekend? He'll also be buying all their first cars and paying for his eldest sons uni for two years in full so he doesn't get any student debt? He also takes them on multiple trips abroad and pays their mum double at Christmas? They went through CMS because his ex wife slept with someone else and then took a load of phones out in brothers name and sold them all to fund her new boyfriends drug habit- so yes CMS was the best stable way for him to pay her because she walks round telling everyone he doesn't help her so now its documented?

That’s great then op, if he’s not lying to you, all is well and a phone call/email to them that they are charging incorrectly and it’ll all be sorted out. No need to worry whatsoever. Im surprised he didn’t work it out himself, rather than panic and ask you for help, all the information is available online and he (or you) could have found out in two minutes that the figures weren’t correct.

Why are they going through CMS?

He has to pay for his children. Zero sympathy for that.

Agree with others that the figures just don't add up. My ex dodged payments on purpose - was in work the whole time at a salary similar to your son's. He was ordered to pay £17.85 per month in arrears (he'd racked up about £6k).
In terms of claiming CMS from his wages, they can do this, but it takes a long time for them to actually get to this point...

I think a lot of people here have absolutely zero experience with CMS

They are not fit for purpose on both sides. They regularly make massive errors in calculations, the portal to upload evidence of earnings if you do need to make a change is shite. You can basically never speak to a normal human. There is no way to make notes on your account. Everything takes forever to process and actually apply to a payment.

NRP should pay a fair amount, I am not disputing that. CMS is so crap though, and pretending that everything they say is gospel and the NRP must be telling lies is just nonsense.

this can not possibly be right. 1- for them to take the money from him like that, they would have had to set up a deduction of earnings. This is taken from his pay check before it hits his own bank account and from personal experience is only set up when the non resident parent isn't complying with CMS. They would have given him a chance to set up a direct debit payment before it got to that point. (been there about 30 times with my ex who job hops!)
2. my ex earns a similar amount to your son, has THOUSANDS in arrears and I am getting no way near that amount for 2 kids! My kids are now adults so I no longer get the maintenance, I am just getting the arrears, but for 12k I am getting £200 a month in arrears payments- when I have question how little this amount feels, the CMS have maintained my ex needs enough to live on. The most I have ever got in 1 month for maintenance and arrears was £700.

Something isn't adding up. Either he is lying to you, CMS have fucked up, in which case he needs to go back to them and appeal their decision or he when he was giving her money through a private arrangement she was claiming CMS which was going unpaid and wracking up arrears. Whatever the circumstances. Something is very wrong here.

He went to CMS because any money he was sending her she was using for her new boyfriends weed habit, and messaging us all saying he wasn't helping so he went to them purely so it was documented for anyone she went to saying he wasn't paying so he could prove otherwise. They don't speak as she cheated on him and then tried causing alot of issues within the family.

Er, they are notorious for making just this kind of mistake. If they are under the impression that he has been paid throughout the period of sickness then they will take back pay extending back through that period.

It would seem that CMS have issued lump sum deduction order direct to his bank account in this case. They can legally do this without going to court, to the extent where they can clean out the entire accessible balance on the account if it matches the total debt owed - the only circumstances in which this is allowed is if the bank account holds less than £100 at the interim stage or if the deduction would meant the amount in the account drops below the statutory minimum (around £55 plus admin fees). So for example if you have £1500 in your account and owe £1445 in arrears, they can take the lot in a lump sum.

I would suggest that in the first instance OP contact CMS as a matter of urgency and tell them that their actions are causing severe financial hardship to a vulnerable person and is putting their employment at risk. Ask for a breakdown of the figures and provide evidence of any discrepancy in their calculations - in this case evidence of sectioning and hospitalisation during which time DS was not paid. Then ask for a payment plan - CMS will opt for setting up regular
manageable instalments over draining an account if you engage early enough especially if the latter puts regular employment and continued payment at risk.

OP could also ask CMS to allocate any extra payments DS has made over and above the CMS calculation towards the debt. There are strict rules governing this and there needs to be evidence of payments made - it’s by no means guaranteed that extra payments would be eligible under CMS rules but the worst they can do is say no. I would also make the local MP aware of the situation and ask if there is anything they can do to expedite the situation given the circumstances.

I have managed to calm him down and it's not as bad as he thought as he is mistaken on the backpay, i should of said he is dyslexic and he started panicking when he got his payslip as he saw the deductions and thought it was all child maintenance, as he has always told us what he earns as we help him out as much as we can.
The payment is £458 a month and they have added £300 a month for the back payment so he is only deducted £754 he saw that and other deductions came to £1000 or near enough, so he thought they took £1700, but he has been off sick for a few weeks as well.
I told him when we get to him we can sit down and we will help him budget as we have already booked our flights.
Thank you for taking time to help a stranger as it means so much.

Absolutely this. I worked for them briefly when they were the CSA and the system wasn’t fit for purpose then. Rebranding as CMS clearly didn’t include an overhaul of their processes.