AIBU to worry CMS deductions could push my son into crisis?

[Wokeuptired]

My son split from his ex almost 2 years ago, they have 2 children together and 1 child that my son brought up as his own, their was lots of drama in the relationship and his ex was very demanding, my son paid her maintenence every month and paid for other things for her like the sky bill and some h/p goods, at the end of last year my son took a very serious attempt at taking his own life and he got sectioned, he obviously couldn't work but his ex was still demanding money from him, In March he got his old job back but he had to save for a deposit and furniture as well as pay for prescriptions food fuel to get to work, he was around £200 short each month and we helped him out with that, during this time his ex refused to let him see the children and he has not seen them since January, he had an upcoming court case to get to see them, as the eldest isn't his biologically he had to get a lawyer to help him as he wants her included.
Now the CMS are involved and they have taken £1700 out of his wages this is £700 for the month and £1000 in back pay as they calculated this from December last year, this leaves my son with around £500 after tax, he can't live on £500 as he can't even cover his rent with that, he has just got himself sorted financially but still owes money.
He doesn't know what he can do as he has phoned CMS and they said it has to be that amount and he explained the situation.
He has been to his boss to see what can be done and if he leaves this job he will break his contract with them and they won't employ him again, he can't go part time and then do work on the side to make the money up.
He just can't afford to work, it's ridiculous as he doesn't want to go on benefits as he also pointed out that it won't help his mental health.
What can he do?
I'm just so worried that he is going to try and end his life again as this seems like a no win situation.

This post is absolutely batshit. There's not one ounce of truth in it. How on earth did you get it sooooo wrong poster?

Indeed

so the Op initially presenting it that the ex was withholding access is bollox

Social workers are heavily involved and have set parameters that he must meet before having access.

glad we agree on something

Because like a number of other posters this is a combination of not reading the updates and posting on old information, and wanting to stick it to an OP who is already in a difficult and distressing situation. About par for the course for AIBU lately.

ALL of this.

He's been refusing to support his children. And for long enough that there's a deduction of earnings.

Is this £9k still the reported arrears? Which he claims was from this year alone?..... No mate.

If you read my post properly (and the multiple others saying similar things) I didn’t say it was. I said if that’s genuinely his income and what they are planning to take then there is a mistake and they need to contact CMS asap.

If you click on 'see all' on the OP's post, bottom right hand corner, you'll see all the information that she's posted and you can stop making up nonsense.

Not necessarily - we have no idea why she stopped him from seeing the children. I would have expected social services to be involved on his release from hospital but the issues around any risk would have been covered in medical reports. And the courts have ruled that he needs his own accommodation to be able to have the children overnight, which is different from barring access altogether. Lots of assumptions here.

I don’t know why MN bother with a see all button. Posters seem to prefer to make up ‘facts’ as they go along. The notion that this is actually someone’s life and not Teletubbies Have Fun On The Internet beggars belief.

There’s some heartless types on here

I looked at cms payments for my ex and it was just over £700 but he’s over £65k a year before tax. The maths just isn’t adding up

Bloody hell @ThreadGuardDog yoi really do blindly live up to your user name don’t you.

The Op conveniently failed to mention social worker involvement in the Op. oh no - it was the cruel nasty ex withholding access

and then… whoopsie - actually social workers are (thankfully!) involved and setting parameters before he is permitted access

That sounds too much. I have known of incidences were the mother has claimed to have not received money, which has skewed the calculations in their favour.

Double check with CMS what is believed to be in arrears. Forward on bank statement to show what was paid. Leave no doubt as to what your son has contributed.

Setting parameters before allowing overnight access. OP was clear. Unless he has his own accommodation he can’t have overnight access. That doesn’t mean he can’t have access at all. And once again, we have no idea why the ex withheld access. I’m trying to look at the facts as OP has presented them instead of doubting everything she says in favour of blind conjecture. The biggest problem on this thread is the fact that so many posters are commenting without reading the updates. It’s one of the most comprehensively derailed threads I’ve seen on MN. And it appears that the OP has been successfully chased from it. Happens a lot. Not exactly helpful.

It is if you’ve read the updates.

Why are you talking as if the other parent has no income? There are benefits for people who may need to feed, cloth, provide heat and housing for their children if they are not working.

Nah that poster seems to think they can police what we say on a forum. The OP is an enabler who is enabling her lazy son and for
some reason people are offended for her!

youre right, that poster is exhausting on all threads

Not my fault if you haven’t read the updates before posting. OP clearly stated that DS needs accommodation before he’s allowed overnights with his kids. That doesn’t mean access is completely denied. MN isn’t my ‘full time job’ thanks. I have an interest because many of the issues are directly related to my profession.

That’s really good considering your own contribution to this thread. You’ve described OP as an enabler to a ‘lazy’ son - a son whose MH problems led him to a serious suicide attempt and sectioning under the MH Act. At least I have a grasp of the facts.

Well this is one of the very few times I’ve actually seen cms do their job.
im sorry your son is struggling but this is the result of him not financially supporting his children when he should have.

What? My opinion? Apparently that’s something not allowed these days 🤣

Explain to me how he should have supported his children while sectioned and in hospital for three months. As soon as he got his job back he offered to pay his ex and she refused because she had gone to CMS in the meantime. It took six months for CMS to work out and advise his payments. Where is the refusal to support his children ?

How do you know what is ‘fact’? Has no one told you not to believe everything you read online? Or are you just gullible?

I have absolutely no problem with your opinion or that of anyone else if it’s based on the facts that OP has given. It’s a public forum - have at it, express your opinion freely. Isn’t that what it’s for ? But please, read the updates and don’t make things up in place of facts.