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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

no i am not but she is and i am sick of it

167 replies

narkymum · 30/06/2008 14:18

when i was at school we had a girl that would hang around copy us and be an irritating pia anyway my bro married her and she winds me up i.e finds out what gift my mums is getting from me goes one better i decorate she decorates exactly the same i get hair cut she does same style phones "my" friends saks them for coffee etc well funny enough i am pregnant (so is she) due a few weeks apart she has been admited early with pre eclamsia and my bro has just phoned to say they have a dd............ she has called her the name i have said we are having all along i can not believe it my bro even said its a girl bitch face wanted to call her blah sorry sis i dont even want to visit now

OP posts:
posieflump · 30/06/2008 14:20

does she not bother with full stps, sentences and paragraphs too?!

can't you just be happy for your brother?

You've just become an Aunt for goodness sake, don't you feel anything but bitterness? Can't believe you don't want to visit your new niece.

littlelapin · 30/06/2008 14:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuzzywuzzy · 30/06/2008 14:21

Why did you tell her what your names were, maybe you'll have a boy instead?

She sounds very needy, would it be possible to keep contact with her to a minimum?? Like just during family meets etc when it's unavoidable?

honeybehappy · 30/06/2008 14:21

your brother called his wife bitch face?

Original poster
narkymum · 30/06/2008 14:22

oh and when i told her the name i wanted at 5 mths she laughed and said she hated it its unusal and i have always loved it as it has special meaning to me and dh which she knows i have to calm down will blow a casket in a min

OP posts:
Cammelia · 30/06/2008 14:23

narkymum as you have known exactly what she is like since school why give her info she can use?

Why do you persist in telling her what gifts you have bought for your mother; what baby names you like etc etc

Original poster
narkymum · 30/06/2008 14:23

no hon its my own pet name for her.

OP posts:
honeybehappy · 30/06/2008 14:24

whats the name?

MegReally · 30/06/2008 14:24

you need to stop telling her anything. what were you doing telling her the name if she pulls this kind of stunt regularly? don't tell her what you are buying for your mum anymore

yanbu I think about the name but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. I'd say oh we liked that name but then we went off it I'm glad you could use it

itati · 30/06/2008 14:24

Nothing to stop you still having the name.

Great names your brother calls his wife.

posieflump · 30/06/2008 14:25

well your brother probably tells his wifeeverything you say about her, so as she undoubtedly knows you hate her and call her bitchface she probably enjoys winding you up.

You both sound as bad as each other tbh.

I feel sorry for your brother to be stuck in the middle.

What do your parents think of her?

honeybehappy · 30/06/2008 14:26

Do you really think she got pregnant because you did?

wannaBe · 30/06/2008 14:26

I think you need to grow up. It's a name. There are about 5 michaels in my family for eg, there's no law saying that because one has a name another can't as well.

And learn to punctuate.
And yabu.

Original poster
narkymum · 30/06/2008 14:26

thanks posie thats made me feel so much better.(full stop)

OP posts:
MegReally · 30/06/2008 14:27

in any case she sounds tedious. she is probably copying you because she has no imagination of her own

jillyj · 30/06/2008 14:28

when you visit just say, oh, you chose that name. we thought about that but have decided on another. DONT tell her what it is, until you have your baby. never ever tell her the truth again. that way she will get there first but it wont be the right one, whatever it is. go on, tell her your gona dye your hair blue.

kiddiz · 30/06/2008 14:28

lol posieflump...I had to read op twice too.
I have a friend who as a 6 year old niece and an 8 year old nephew who she has never seen and they live in the same town. This is for similar reasons as yours and I believe very sad.

MegReally · 30/06/2008 14:29

tell her you are buying your mother a dildo for Christmas

itati · 30/06/2008 14:29

Why bother? Childish games imo.

I'd give anything to have a SIL. Just be happy you have a niece and get over it.

Original poster
narkymum · 30/06/2008 14:31

I am so upset to give more info my dh mum died last year she was always know by a nick name and the whole family have known that if we had a girl Which we are) then thats what she will be called and she has called her dd this instead its not a common name and my mum thinks it is out of order too

OP posts:
Twelvelegs · 30/06/2008 14:31

I am laughing uncontrollably about your brother calling his wife bitchface .
I have noticed on MN that if you air a greivance without punctuation or self awareness then you are more likely to be criticised, especially if you use the word 'hon'.
If you had said that your SIL is a girl you've loathe since school as she copied you and still does it as an adult and even as far as baby's names... then the birth announcement and then how you feel so angry that it's clouded how you feel about going to visit your neice. Adding the how lovely I've become an Aunt etc, you may have had some positive response.
You have come accross pretty nasty and I'm sure you're not. Your SIL sounds really insecure and like she wants to fit in.

wannaBe · 30/06/2008 14:31

tbh I think you sound jealous.

Your op is full of bitterness about how she got pregnant etc, it sounds to me that all she has done is try to fit into your family, and why shouldn't she decorate if she wants to.

I think you want to be the centre of attention and your sil is taking away some of your limelight.

bearmama · 30/06/2008 14:31

My friends SIL is like this, copies my friend who despite not having much money has always been original and stylish, whereas SIL is loaded. I've told her its jealousy, and that money cant buy taste.

Sounds like you just came on here to let off steam, you know her pretty well i think. Just be smug that you thought of it first, and enjoy being original.

ShortandSweet · 30/06/2008 14:31

Maybe she copies you because she admires you.

Twelvelegs · 30/06/2008 14:32

Meg, funny funny