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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

no i am not but she is and i am sick of it

167 replies

narkymum · 30/06/2008 14:18

when i was at school we had a girl that would hang around copy us and be an irritating pia anyway my bro married her and she winds me up i.e finds out what gift my mums is getting from me goes one better i decorate she decorates exactly the same i get hair cut she does same style phones "my" friends saks them for coffee etc well funny enough i am pregnant (so is she) due a few weeks apart she has been admited early with pre eclamsia and my bro has just phoned to say they have a dd............ she has called her the name i have said we are having all along i can not believe it my bro even said its a girl bitch face wanted to call her blah sorry sis i dont even want to visit now

OP posts:
Original poster
narkymum · 30/06/2008 21:23

Thanks for posts
Just come back from hospital, sil much better her blood pressure had shot up and so it was decided baby should come out,in case of pre eclamsia. Must say my niece is beautiful Its impossible not to let her know what I am doing as she lives in next road. I dont tell her, she just sees what I have done, bought, said etc and does it anyway. Eveyone laughs about it. I actually feel sorry for her and I dont really hate her just wish she would get a life. Any way had a big cry and am hoping she will change her mind as my mum has said something to her. Dont want to be harsh as she is a bit delicate at mo but just gave me a shock today, she told me she had choosen Hannah for last three months.

OP posts:
littlelapin · 30/06/2008 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
narkymum · 30/06/2008 21:26

Also they will be in same bloody class at school (just thought that!)
I think she may change it........... God I hope she changes it.

OP posts:
themildmannneredjanitor · 30/06/2008 21:34

would it make you feel any better if i said that when most peiople hear her kids name they will think of this?

lydiathetattooedlady · 30/06/2008 21:34

the thing to think of too, if she does keep the name, is that with it being unusual people will ask why she chose it-what is she going to say?? its my sil's, husbands, dead grandmas nickname and i liked it?? or it was the name my sil picked out so i stole it! either way she'll sound stupid (sorry if that sounds crude talking of the dead in that way!)

themildmannneredjanitor · 30/06/2008 21:35

just a thought -when she hung around being annoying at school-did you all pick on her a bit? could this be revenge?

bonio · 30/06/2008 21:42

If she is wavering on the name, post partum sensitivity or not I would stick to your guns and tell your brother, as gently and kindly as possible, you had already chosen that name AS HE WELL KNEW and still intend to use it.

Kimi · 30/06/2008 21:49

Glad your neice is doing well, Do you think that if you stick to your guns and say you are still going to use the name, she will back down over it as she wont want her child to be forever known as the girl with the stolen name (you know what I mean) people will asd why 2 dollys and will know she used the name you had chosen and that you had reason to chose it, she did not...Hannah is a lovely name, could she not go with Hannah Dolly?

CatsInTheCradle · 30/06/2008 21:52

Did you look at the baby and say "well hello Dolly"?

She is being a cow, butthere is not a lot you can do, just hope she grows up abit before she puts it on the birth papers

eekamoose · 30/06/2008 21:53

YANBU (but you do come across as very narky which is why you haven't had as much sympathy as you possibly deserve on this).

Kimi · 30/06/2008 21:54

Just a thought... what if you, your DH your mum and so on refuse to call the baby by the name?
Maybe childish is the way to go.

Did you call the baby by the name when you went to see her? Did anyone? If you don't call the baby by the name then SIL might get the hint.

Original poster
narkymum · 30/06/2008 21:57

At school she was the original Hermine Granger she also told my mum I smoked, which was not exactly true and she planted condom wrappers in my pencil case for a laugh at our strict catholic girls school. As we got married the same year the family thought we should be each others brides maids , thats a whole other story.
She also says things like your dd is stunning . she does not take after you does she and apparently I made a very plain bride!
Funnily I nearly died once and she never left my bed side.

OP posts:
lydiathetattooedlady · 30/06/2008 21:59

its almost like she's behaving in a 'sibling rivalry' kind of way.

Kimi · 30/06/2008 21:59

I think she sounds sad tbh, I think you have a little fan on your hands.
She looks up to you, she copys you, was marrying your Brother another way to have what you have?

I think you really really need to stick to your guns on this and still call your DD Dolly.

themildmannneredjanitor · 30/06/2008 22:00

not exactly rue? either it was true or it wasn't.

it all sounds very childish tbh. you are both grown women.

she has called the baby a name that you wanted, which imo would be something she wouldn't have thanked you for anyway. be the adult and choose another name and don't ever mention it agai.
gain the upper hand by being grown up and mature.

Original poster
narkymum · 30/06/2008 22:02

Kimi no-one mentioned her name just the baby but its on her tag I actually think she looks just like a Hannah all fair and girly (proud auntie emotion) Also don`t want to let on I am cross as have gorgeous nephew here and want to big up the big bro status.

OP posts:
Kimi · 30/06/2008 22:05

Well how about if everyone says she looks like a hannah not a dolly?

What would SIL say if you said Hannah how lovely we will use that?

How is your DH?

Original poster
narkymum · 30/06/2008 22:11

Told dh he went upstairs, popped in earlier and he has gone to bed. Alot of that recently for ob reasons , he will be thinking about it. I will talk to him tomorrow, wont be able to talk now he will need time to digest this. I feel bad cos its my side causing him more pain.

OP posts:
jangly · 30/06/2008 22:11

Find another really nice name for your DD and give her this special name as her middle name. Think that would have been much better anyway tbh.

Abitconcerned · 30/06/2008 22:34

Hannah Dolly has a nice ring to it

littlepig · 30/06/2008 22:40

Sounds like a sad situation - suspect she actually has no idea how much she upsets you and it would be impossible to get this across to her.

Anyway, glad you didn't get too upset at all the stroppy posts at the start. I think you should go ahead and do your own thing. If you do what you think is right (including choosing the name for your daughter) you should be proud to stick to it and don't let other people put you off either by slagging you off or by copying you.

Good luck

blueskythinker · 30/06/2008 22:45

YANBU and I think you have had quite a hard time from some of the earlier posters.

I would be inclined to stick to my original plans, smile sweetly and say that 'Yes, Dolly is a lovely name, we are using it too because of DH's mum '

When are you due? Are you definitely having a girl? We were definitely having a girl - He's called Tim

ELR · 30/06/2008 22:47

Narky mum i am with you she has obviously pissed you off, she is clearly a bitchface and who gives a fuck if you are pissed off and cant use proper grammer!! people who pass such personal judgement on someone who is clearly upset on a thread are being unreasonable in my opinion!!

Original poster
narkymum · 30/06/2008 22:50

yes its def a girl. Not suprised I got a hard time, read op earlier I sound vile and most def narky!
Now I have seen sil and felt the embarassed vibe at the hospital I have a feeling she will change it.......prob be polly/molly or Holly be the morning. God could do without this drama. Any way going to bed will need 50 wee`s in the night no doubt.

OP posts:
MinkyBorage · 30/06/2008 22:57

Blimey, the up their own arses brigade got a bit hot and bothered about this didn't they?! Hopefully she'll change her mind, she sounds like a pita and you sound like a great sil under the circumstances. YANBU
Good luck with your baby.