no i am not but she is and i am sick of it

[narkymum]

when i was at school we had a girl that would hang around copy us and be an irritating pia anyway my bro married her and she winds me up i.e finds out what gift my mums is getting from me goes one better i decorate she decorates exactly the same i get hair cut she does same style phones "my" friends saks them for coffee etc well funny enough i am pregnant (so is she) due a few weeks apart she has been admited early with pre eclamsia and my bro has just phoned to say they have a dd............ she has called her the name i have said we are having all along i can not believe it my bro even said its a girl bitch face wanted to call her blah sorry sis i dont even want to visit now

Call your DD Dolly like you originally intended. Tell people it is for your DH's mother. Then if they ask about your SIL's baby having the same name, roll your eyes and say "Oh yes, she's always wanted to be my clone."

Haven't read it all.

Just wanted to say that in my Mum's younger days there was no preciousness about special names. You called your first daughter after the mother's mother, so my Mum had the same first name as four of her cousins.

They all had different pet names. Nobody had tantrums. It was normal.

As it happens, I called my dd after my Mum, even though my cousin had already done the same with his dd. It's never been a problem.

So, call your daughter by the name you both like. And congratulations btw.

Hope she has changed it by now but if not I would recommend saying to her.

"It'll be a bit odd, because as you KNEW we have always planned to call our DD Dolly after MIL . . . we can't change our minds as we'd feel we were letting her memory down. Our kids are going to feel really weird having the same name. Oh well, if that's what you really want, I expect they'll get over it eventually and our Dolly will know she has been caused that for a special reason."

She'll change it like a shot, and if she doesn't you will have the moral high ground.

tut!

called that for a special reason

tbh, I'd be pissed off too, she sounds like a nightmare. Call your baby the name you've chosen, if anyone does comment, smile and say what a strange coincidence that is. Definitely don't tell her anything you've decided on in future, just be very vague and say you don't know just yet.

Oh only read the first page - think I might have missed a showdown... will go back and read..

I don't think YABU. I would feel exactly the same as you in your situation. Stick with Dolly as it means so much to you and your husband.

Well? Any progress? Has she reconsidered yet?

And is everyone well? How does your nephew like his little sister? Actually... why don't you get him to come up with a name he likes and get him to canvas his mum for that !?

Just a thought, you don't think she takes jokes a bit far to wind you up do you, what with the condoms, and the plain bride comment etc, maybe she likes your responses? maybe she'll say 'ha! that had you and you believed it!' and call the baby Hannah?

I would like to pologise for my abrupt like earlier comment.

I can totally sympathaises how you must be feeling now you have explained about it being your MIL name, etc etc.

FWIW I would still use the name Dolly. It is what you really want to do and any variations will just rub in what your SIL did. Talk to your brother, ask him to rethink, but be prepared for a daughter and a niece called Dolly. It isn't the end of the world. You still get what you want and have a lovely story to tell about the name. How is your SIL doing to explain her choice?

So what's happening overall? Are you going to speak to her again? I wouldn't. Have you chosen a new name for your baby? I wouldn't. Have you told EVERYBODY you know what's happened? I would. Have you considered saying 'I'm glad you did that actually because now I've decided I HATE that name and we've picked [name] instead?' or 'Haha we KNEW you'd do that so we picked that name as a joke to see if you'd do it. God you're predictable.' I would.

Hope you feel better soon. I was inconsolable about the stupidest things a few weeks ago when I was heavily pregnant, and something like that would have pushed me over the edge.

Know that you're in the right, and you're the better person.

call your child the same name you wanted too, and if sil not registered the baby have a word in her shell. see if she can't change it to the middle name or something if she's set on it.

make sure you tell all and sundry your calling your baby if it's a girl the name you wanted. and the reason why.

then they'll know she's been copying you without you bitching about it.

Any change today?

My mum had a coffee with sil mum this morning, btw sil mum was outraged that her dd would be so silly. Anyway she has had a chat with her this afternoon and looks like niece will be Hannah Marie after all. One of the reasons of telling all an sundry the name was so Everyone would be aware that was ourname. IykwIm, anyway even though I have got the name back I dont feel victorious it has knocked the shine off a bit, still am sure that is hormones, dont want to moan but being a whale in this heat is making me supernarky. Have also been totally unreasonable this week had a breakdown cos someone ate my choccy mousse earlier (I had hidden it behind spinich thought no one would ever look there)

Glad it's all been sorted.

I hope you learn from this

Thats great news, now you can enjoy being Auntie to Hannah and look forward to the birth of your Dolly, who I am sure would have been the apple of her grandmas eye.

So glad that it got sorted and hopefully this will be a wake-up call for your loopy sil and she may stop being a pita!

Hope that the birth of your daughter goes well and the rest of your pregnancy isn't too stressfull!

Congratualions on the birth of Hannah.