AIBU to tell my neighbour’s Year 6 child to stop walking to school with us?

[Msjamtoast]

I have two children, one in Year 4 and one in Reception. Every morning I walk them to school.
For the past two weeks, a neighbour’s Year 6 child has been coming along with us every morning. Our children know each other and sometimes play together locally, but the parents and I have never actually spoken. When the children play together, the parents don’t usually come out, so we’ve never met or had any arrangement about walking to school together.
The child told my Year 4 child that his mum had said it was dangerous for him to walk to school alone and that he should walk with us.
I’m uncomfortable with this. I’m already responsible for my two children, including a Reception child, and I don’t want to take responsibility for another family’s child.
If his parents feel he isn’t safe walking to school alone, I feel they should make their own arrangements rather than relying on us.
Would you tell the child he needs to make his own arrangements, or just let him continue walking with us?
Has anyone else experienced something similar with a neighbour’s child joining your school run?

😂😂😂😂 obviously not 😂 what a take honestly. It’s just a nice time where we talk about the day ahead before I don’t see him all day.

i think you’re quite sad to make an assumption like that to be honest.

That she's totally been made responsible for someone else's kid maybe? And that the parents didn't even have the damn courtesy to ask if op was OK to do this? The parents are just letting him tag along with op, and sounds like the mother has been instructing him to latch on to poor op.

Bet if anything happened to the child who op has not agreed to look after, the mother would be the first to start screaming and making a fuss. Yet as it stands they haven't even spoken.

How would this work, the child is walking to school that way anyway! He'd presumably just leave 5 seconds after "returning him"(?!) as anyone is free to walk any route at any time. Another mark of our society becoming insular and individualistic.

If it's such a big issue then just have a quick chat with the parents to explain that you don't want them/the child to think that you are responsible for him crossing roads, taking detours, wandering off with other friends etc. As long as she knows this then I don't see the problem.

Talk to his mum. I think it's extremely cheeky that she's told her son to walk with you to school without bothering to ask you if that's OK first.

I had a lad a bit like this - he didn't always walk with us but I'd just keep an eye on him if I saw him, and sometimes he'd chatter to us if we converged at the same point. I'll always remember once he'd started at the secondary school lhe walked past me in the opposite direction just as my toddler did a monstrous sneeze and he doubled back to give me some tissues from his bag. Now he's at university and my youngest is in year 6, and he coaches my son in a shared sport. It's nice, we have this established and ongoing connection and I feel glad I kept an eye out for him. Community doesn't get built on its own. By all means, tell the mum you won't stop him if he does go on ahead or whatever, but just seeing him across the road is probably alright.

Op said the mother is sitting at home and sending her kid to walk with op.

It’s the Year 6’s parents you should talk to. They have taken a huge liberty by assuming it is ok without asking you.

Why are you so desperate to avoid this poor kid? You haven’t mentioned him misbehaving in any way so what is your actual issue? He’s year 6 as well so will be moving schools next summer…

This post is an example of why other nationalities question the mental sanity of British (English tbf) people - you are already walking to school with your children, it is zero bother to you, And you try to avoid this child by leaving 5 minutes earlier or later, what is wrong with you?

It’s the bit where the parents have told him to walk with you that I don’t like. That means that they will hold your responsible if anything happens. Knock on their door and knock it on the head, they need to take him themselves if they’re worried about him walking alone.

Is the kid rude, disrespectful, making a nuisance of himself or hogging your attention?

If none of the above, isn't he just one of your kids' friends walking along the road chatting to them on the way to school?

id imagine the assumption that op is now responsible for the year 6 childs walk to school!

i had this problem once and the child told me she wasn’t going to school, i told if she wasn’t going to school go home. Around 30 min later i spot her crying outside her house as no one was home so i took her to school and explained. Very difficult situation to be in

I agree with this. As long as he’s behaving and your kids are ok with it.

Having a sense of community and looking out for each other is important.

Speak to the school. Make it clear that you have never agreed to this and you will not be responsible for that child if anything were to happen along the way.

A sense of community is very different from being taken advantage of.

I do understand where you are coming from. And I do think it’s very cheeky of his parents to not at least run it by you. They don’t know you, and don’t know if you’re a dangerous person. So to me their idea of safeguarding their child by making them walk with a stranger they haven’t even vetted themselves even by just chatting to you is insane.

BUT, if the child happily walks with my children and isn’t causing them any harm I would have no issue with them walking with me. Because I would know in my heart they were getting to school safely. Regardless of their parents being idiots. I couldn’t leave a child on its own who didn’t have anyone looking after them. I would at least keep an eye on them on the way to school to ensure their safety.

If I was you I would speak to their parents.

The school won’t give a shit because he’s in year 6, kids are allowed to walk to and from school alone from year 5. He’s technically doing this but chatting to OP’s child on the way. Unless this walk is an almighty 1 hour hike with treacherous paths and wild bears, OP isn’t “responsible” for him.

God people are so weird and insular nowadays. Just let them walk with you.

Quite! I am sure I said to my kids when they started walking that if they weren't with friends then to walk near to other families from the school as that was safest. As kids get older you have to give them a bit of freedom but also some tips for how to be safe. One of my children's friends or a classmate joining us for a walk to school would not bother me at all.

chat to mum at pick up and ask if he is worried about walking on his own as he’s always waiting /joins you

how far is it from home and is he a nice polite boy

Responsible for what, exactly? He’s not a toddler, he’s old enough to be out on his own?

So OP’s wishes don’t matter?

I feel sorry for the child. Don’t tell him he can’t walk with you; go and talk to the parents and say they need to escort him as you don’t want the responsibility. Tell school if the parents are difficult.

So why is year 6 boy's mother telling him to latch onto OP? If he were old enough and savvy, she'd happily send him out alone.