AIBU to tell my neighbour’s Year 6 child to stop walking to school with us?

[Msjamtoast]

I have two children, one in Year 4 and one in Reception. Every morning I walk them to school.
For the past two weeks, a neighbour’s Year 6 child has been coming along with us every morning. Our children know each other and sometimes play together locally, but the parents and I have never actually spoken. When the children play together, the parents don’t usually come out, so we’ve never met or had any arrangement about walking to school together.
The child told my Year 4 child that his mum had said it was dangerous for him to walk to school alone and that he should walk with us.
I’m uncomfortable with this. I’m already responsible for my two children, including a Reception child, and I don’t want to take responsibility for another family’s child.
If his parents feel he isn’t safe walking to school alone, I feel they should make their own arrangements rather than relying on us.
Would you tell the child he needs to make his own arrangements, or just let him continue walking with us?
Has anyone else experienced something similar with a neighbour’s child joining your school run?

Please use logic and reasoning.

In normal circumstances, it would be unlikely for OP to have to help the child if he was run over, because their contact time would be extremely low. She would very rarely see the child, if ever.

The fact that the child is walking with OP means that she is effectively responsible for the child the whole time, which dramatically increases the likelihood that she would be directly responsible for him if something bad happened.

Just drive then.

Precisely. No proof

Apologies, I didn't realise I'd wandered into a court hearing. I thought it was just a mumsnet thread.

Agree. What the hell is the world coming to
when this is considered a problem.

I would feel annoyed at the expectation, especially if you have no relationship with them at all. However, I’d allow it if my children got on with the child. I don’t think you should say anything about it to the child; always the parents.

You’re not responsible for him. In the eyes of the law, a person is only responsible for themselves. We can be responsible to our child - providing them with a coat, but we cannot be responsible if child refuses to wear said coat.

Kid is walking alongside because probably nervous walking alone. Alongside. Feeling safe with you. Nice. Unless they’re a problematic child, what’s the problem? Even then, it’s public, what on can you do?

Your reaction to this is odd.

Yeah full of people slagging on the kids mother for something she may not have even said

It feels so mean not letting him tag along, poor child.

Unless he’s a nuisance? If the school allows pupils to walk alone at that age then him tagging along doesn’t make him your responsibility.

I wish people would be kinder to each other. He may be able to repay your kindness in later years.

It's not. The tagging along is NOT the issue.
It's the fact that said child had claimed to OP's older child that his mother has said he has to walk with OP's family for safety (NB the veracity of this is currently under dispute) but the mother has not ever spoken to OP, and least of all to ask, 'Is it OK if you can keep an eye on my son morning on the walk to school.'
OP has two children, one quite young, and it seems that she doesn't feel that she can be responsible for an extra child who's mother MAY be concerned for their safety en route.
OP has said nothing to suggest that she would have an issue with a child out independently with their parent's permission and trust, walking along with them.

Oh for goodness sake! What responsibility do you think it takes to allow a 10/11 yr old to walk with you ?! Get over yourself! He's allowed to walk to school alone, you are all going to same school at the same time so no ... You can't tell him he's not allowed to walk to school at the same time as you!

I fail to see what you think is going to go wrong that is going to affect you. He's a bit old that he's likely to fall over or hurt himself but even if he did.... I've had a lad in year 7 fall off his bike in the opposite direction..
Guess what? I stopped and helped cos that's what normal people do.... He wasn't "my responsibility" but normal people can help others and even being in the company of others without getting their knickers in a twist!!

I suggest you use some logic.

The OP hasn't agreed to anything and therefore isn't remotely responsible for this child.

He's just walking along with them.

This whole thread is baffling.

Year 6 kids are allowed to walk alone. I personally wouldn't allow it but the reality is they do.

Said child is walking the same way you are, and is friends with your child. I used to watch out for all and any kids on the school run. The parents have clearly said stay close to you because they want to give the child a bit of freedom, but feel better there are parents going the same way at the same time.

This whole thing is a none issue. He's walking there at the same time as you are. You can't police how far away from you someone walks.

And all the nasty people calling the the parents in the comments for being safety conscious, or saying to drive 🤮 vile.

It’s not a big deal you aren’t responsible for him. I mean it’s a road and he is big enough to walk to school on his own.

I couldn't agree more.

I voted YABU, not because I would be fine with it, but because your solution was to tell the child, when it would be better to tell the parent. I feel a bit sorry for the boy, but I can’t imagine any boy I know that age preferring to walk to school with some younger children and their mum rather than just on their own, so I don’t really get it unless he’s being pressured by his mum? In which case why isn’t she walking him?

Don't blame the child for the parent's behaviour. Go and introduce yourself to them, find out why they can't do the morning drop offs - as others have said, maybe they are trying to get the child to be more independent but it's backfired. They assume you are ok with the arrangement because you've said nothing so far.

Ops not any more responsible than if the kid was walking 10 meters ahead.
Nothing has been agreed with parents. No responsibility has been assumed.
its a year 6 getting used to walking - it’s been 3 weeks. By Christmas child will likely not care or your year 4 will want to run on ahead with them,

My bet of the child is on his own in house and is nervous and that is why the parents can't walk him. They are at work

My son used to walk to school on his own in year six (about a 10 minute walk) and would meet people on the way going in the same direction. I would never want other people to think they were responsible for him. Sometimes he would walk with the same children. There was never an issue but if there would have been someone I am sure would have called me.
It’s difficult because he is old enough to walk on his own and maybe you all leave at the same time and end up walking together. The issue is whether they think you’re responsible for his safety. I wouldn’t have put that on anyone else when my son was walking to school.
But like other posters have said you don’t know whether that’s the case. And wouldn’t you help him if he needed it anyway? You wouldn’t just walk on by? Surely?

Yes, I agree with this.
The parents haven't given you any responsibility. So when you cross the road, you haven't got to hold his hand or do any thing special. He just crosses himself. You are just there for the child's peice of mind.
I would just let him walk with you.

I haven’t done it for over 5 years but no we didn’t see many people on our route until we got nearer the school. Our walk was about 20 minutes. Not sure why you think everyone lives two minutes walking distance from school.

Maybe the lad said this as a white lie because he wants company on the way to school. Maybe not. Who cares - is he putting you out in some way? I would imagine the walk will be more interesting for your y4 with a peer to walk with.

If he's a pain then talk to the parents but otherwise I would take this as a positive thing.

If you are telling your kids you are leaving early or late to avoid this kid what are they learning from you? What are they learning about you?

And where did I say they did??? I live 3 mins walk from the local primary so see them walking there. I doubt many people would be walking 20 mins to school unless they had no choice

And I think you took the autocorrect typo of mums that changed to mins. Although why minutes would be walking and chatting I don't know unless you are trying to be smart