AIBU to tell my neighbour’s Year 6 child to stop walking to school with us?

[Msjamtoast]

I have two children, one in Year 4 and one in Reception. Every morning I walk them to school.
For the past two weeks, a neighbour’s Year 6 child has been coming along with us every morning. Our children know each other and sometimes play together locally, but the parents and I have never actually spoken. When the children play together, the parents don’t usually come out, so we’ve never met or had any arrangement about walking to school together.
The child told my Year 4 child that his mum had said it was dangerous for him to walk to school alone and that he should walk with us.
I’m uncomfortable with this. I’m already responsible for my two children, including a Reception child, and I don’t want to take responsibility for another family’s child.
If his parents feel he isn’t safe walking to school alone, I feel they should make their own arrangements rather than relying on us.
Would you tell the child he needs to make his own arrangements, or just let him continue walking with us?
Has anyone else experienced something similar with a neighbour’s child joining your school run?

I would actually knock on his door and speak to his parents.

What exactly is your problem

You talk to the parents, not the child. Tell them that you don't want him walking with you and ask them to make alternative arrangments.

It would depend on how the child behaves for me. If he's polite and well behaved I wouldn't have a problem. But I would explain to him that he can't rely on us always being available for him to tag along.

If you saw him get run over or abducted or whatever on the school run and he was just walking ahead of you rather than with you, would you just say 'not my problem' and keep walking? I'm guessing not. I don't see an issue unless he is pissing you off in some way

Yes, I was on this situation when my children were younger and in primary school.
A Year 6 boy used to tag along with us. It was an unspoken arrangement. He lived on the route we walked. His mum would wait for me to walk past with my children and send him out to join us.

I think it's ok as long as you make it clear that he isn't your responsibility ( which the mum should know anyway). If he walked with you and then decided to pop in the shop on the way for example then this isn't your responsibility if the mum later comes back and says "Why did you let him go in the shop?".

If he is simply walking alongside you and not causing any issues then I'd say it's ok. You just need to make it clear by speaking to his mum. Maybe something like "I don't mind him walking with us but I can't take on any responsibility for him".
If it becomes a pain that you might need to be more firm with her.

How far is the walk? Is this child badly behaved or something? If not and they’re politely chatting to your child, I really can’t and don’t see the issue whatsoever.

Pack it in. The OP has said what her problem is,

Why in the name of God would you do that?! What harm is the kid doing? He’s a friend of op’s kids.

How nice that this Y6 kid is happy to hang out with your younger kids, often school forces kids to segregate by age. My DD is in a tiny primary school (60 kids) and has friendships across a massive age range which is a really positive thing in so many ways.

Knock on the parents door, introduce yourself, let them know that there may be times when you won't be walking, so they know you're not to be relied on and are not taking any kind of responsibility, and let the kids enjoy there friendship.

It sounds cheeky, but the mum may not have said exactly that. She might have said something like 'make sure you stay on the main road where all the other families walk, as it's safer around others'.

A sensible year 6 child shouldn't need looking after on the walk to school. I'd decide what you are happy with and then talk to the parent to clarify. It's quite normal to walk along with whoever is heading in the same direction, and might be a bit odd if this boy has to walk deliberately in front/behind you.

You would be unreasonable to tell the child, yes. But I would talk to the parent about it. Find out why - she's worried about him in some way, presumably, but wants him to be independent of her.

Don't say this to the child. He's only 10, he's not responsible for his parents laziness. You need to speak to the parents and tell them that if they don't feel it's safe for their child to get to school alone they either take him themselves or pay someone to take the responsibility. It's the height of cheeky fuckery to take advantage of you without even asking you.

Personally, I can’t see the issue. It’s not like he’s a young child, lots walk alone from year 5&6, and it’s some of those are encouraged to walk with friends. Your year 4 is his friend. Unless he’s not behaving etc I don’t see how this is an issue.
Two older primary kids and a reception child doesn’t sound any harder to manage than 1 older primary and a reception unless you’re drip feeding severe Sen or something. I don’t think you really need to do anything extra!

I personally wouldn’t talk to parents, as I’d be mortified, I’d just leave earlier if it was an issue.

What happens on the walk home? Have they roped in another unwilling escort?

I think it is still September so very early in the school year and the parents are just starting to let him have some more autonomy by walking to school, I think you will find that he is doing the journey independently by half term .

But having said that I think it is worth speaking to the parents, say you don’t mind him walking with you but you are not taking any responsibility for him, eg waiting for him, making sure he is crossing roads safely etc. It is very rude to assume that you would without speaking to you, if they still think the walk is dangerous they should be making proper arrangements for him, either by doing the school run themselves or paying for someone to take him.

Year 6 is old enough to walk to school alone, it’s not like it’s a younger child who needs supervision. If it really bothers you that much then speak to the parents but it seems a bit petty when you are already walking with your younger child.

The bonus for you is that if your younger child is off for any reason, your older one will have a buddy to walk to school with, saving you the trip.

I'm with others. You can speak to parents and say whilst he's welcome to tag along you aren't responsible for him so if you're delayed or one of your kids needs something of course your younger children are your priority and hoping everyone's clear on that. When I was a kid and walked to school alone often we'd bump into mates along the way (some with parents) and would walk together and chat. It's a pretty nice / community thing to do.

speak with the parents

How does it even work? Is the poor kid having to wait for you all? What happens if you're late, or going another way?
What happens if you stop to a shop, to a friends house? Or are running late and take the car one day.

You are BU thinking you are "responsible". It's just kids walking together but I would stil discuss.

I would have a chat with the parents

Knock on the door and speak to the parents?

Just saying the child can’t tag along feels like punishing a kid for having shit parents.

I think that's a bit OTT - they are doing the walk anyway and by all accounts the kids like each other. It's zero extra work but yes the parents should have mentioned it like 'oh by the way bob has just started walking to school alone and he's a bit nervous so he might tag along with you guys for a bit if he sees you, hope that's ok!'.

around here, y4 are not allowed to walk to or from school without an adult, that wouldn't work.

All the be kind bollocks. Wait until that child has a mishap and wait for the shit to hit the fan from parents who couldn't be arsed to talk to the OP.

I wouldn't want to be responsible for them and wouldn't take responsibility. However, given they play with your children and are friends in that way, if the kids were happy with it, I wouldn't have a problem. I'm not their minder or responsible person though.

I'd be fine with it as long as my children were.

What "shit" will hit the fan exactly? The only shit I can see hitting anything will be the OP knocking on the parents door and demanding them that they keep their son away from her.