AIBU to tell my neighbour’s Year 6 child to stop walking to school with us?

[Msjamtoast]

I have two children, one in Year 4 and one in Reception. Every morning I walk them to school.
For the past two weeks, a neighbour’s Year 6 child has been coming along with us every morning. Our children know each other and sometimes play together locally, but the parents and I have never actually spoken. When the children play together, the parents don’t usually come out, so we’ve never met or had any arrangement about walking to school together.
The child told my Year 4 child that his mum had said it was dangerous for him to walk to school alone and that he should walk with us.
I’m uncomfortable with this. I’m already responsible for my two children, including a Reception child, and I don’t want to take responsibility for another family’s child.
If his parents feel he isn’t safe walking to school alone, I feel they should make their own arrangements rather than relying on us.
Would you tell the child he needs to make his own arrangements, or just let him continue walking with us?
Has anyone else experienced something similar with a neighbour’s child joining your school run?

Yes that's lovely and neighbourly, but the kids you gave lifts to, you would have discussed and agreed that with their parent's first, right? And as you say, 'Everyone knew each other.'
That's just the thing in this scenario, the parents don't know each other. She is apparently telling her child to go with this family and implying they will keep him safe - without ever speaking to the OP. The OP doesn't even know for sure if the school are okay with this child in particular walking alone. Our primary is very strict on permissions for this, even for year 6.
The OP has her hands full walking to school with her own kids. It's all very well trying to make this about human decency, but if this was happening to me I would be extremely anxious about having a regular responsibility placed on me in this way with not even a quick chat?
Again, this is not the case of an older definitely independent child simply tagging along. He is saying that he is being told to go with them for safety reasons.

Some reactions here are hilariously over the top.
Most Y6 children are encouraged to walk to school on their own in preparation for secondary school, however many parents feel a bit nervous about that.
The neighbour is obviously not expecting OP to supervise the child or make conversation with him, but just be the ‘safe adult’ to be around in the unlikely event that someone tried to abduct the child / there is a car accident / a drunk homeless person starts interacting with them… the type of things that almost never happen but parents worry about when their DC starts walking to school on their own.

I always used to be joined by several neighbours’ children when walking my two daughters to school. They all arrived at school safe, happy and relaxed. I can’t see why it’s a problem for you.

The neighbour’s child is friendly with yours, is going to the same place and wants to join you……why ever not?

Without a discussion with OP, taking her for granted. 😫

I wasn’t asking who was responsible for me in year 6! 😜 I was just saying I was that kid once! And yes I actually had to walk ahead or sometimes behind that childminder most of the way home, while she shushed my friend not to talk to me! Very embarrassing 😳 but it makes us resilient and learn to become independent.

If you get "extrememly anxious" over a kid walking to school next to you and your kids then God help you, life is going to throw much greater things your way believe me. Does your generation regularly get anxiety over such things? It's totally ridiculous to me as a Gen Xer.

Your school vets which kids in year 6 are allowed to walk to school on their own? Are you sure? In our school it was the parents who give that permission and let the school know.

Either you’re leaving something out along the lines of he’s causing you actual trouble or yeah I think you’re unreasonable.
I read threads like this on here and wonder if I just come from a different world. Like there’s no kindness, empathy or community left in the world. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a village who knows.

Good lord, what is wrong with people? As kids we would all walk together with an adult. Takes a village to raise a child and all that.

Am a gen x-er myself. Yes I have a common mental health problem.

Nope, they don't vet them. But they want parents to confirm their children are allowed to walk home by email, rather than just allowing all of the year group as standard.

And you're misrepresenting or misunderstanding me. No I am not scared of a random child walking next to me. But I would be anxious if heard a parent had decided that their child was supposed to walk with me regularly within the context that I was to support their safety and had told them this - without ever even speaking to me and especially if I am already looking after two children whilst walking to school, one of whom is only four or five.
Personally, as I've made clear, I would speak to the mum in this situation.

Everyone to their own but if the kid is polite and gets on with your children I don’t see a problem. I’d be knocking on the door just to say hello and introduce myself to the parents and to be friendly with the neighbours.

How nasty can you get @Msjamtoast
Just shocked tbh. As long as you’re alright eh!

But why are you trying to avoid him? You won’t say if he’s actually bothering you on the walk, or just walking along nicely with your kids? How long does the walk take?

“We’ve actually tried leaving 5 minutes earlier or 5 minutes later to avoid him, but he lives on the same street as us….”

How mean!

@Msjamtoast This

I don't know what is more surprising ... that the OP actually did this and admitted it on a public forum or that more than half of the voters agree that it is perfectly reasonable behaviour towards a child. And they are modelling this behaviour to their own children.

Now I've never done the walking to school scenario myself but I do see lots of parents doing it. Much of the time it's 2 mins walking along chatting with a few kids. Do you not have friends to chat to en route?

You have no proof whatsoever she's actually said or expects this though

I’d talk to the parents.

I would say although you don’t mind the child walking along with you sometimes, you aren’t taking responsibility for him in anyway.

If they think he can’t be trusted to walk alone, then yes they should take him.

I would maybe say you’d prefer he didn’t walk with you always because you like to have the time with your own children.

I have to say I would lean into this. Y6 is plenty old enough to walk to school alone.

Let the Y6 child take your Y4 while you concentrate on the younger child

tech he doesn’t. Op does as he waits and walks with her

OP's heard words to this effect via the kids. Is the boy relaying faithfully or exaggerating or getting mixed up? No idea.
Maybe the mum said casually, 'Try to cross with them when you get to the big road.' Or at the other extreme maybe she said, 'You must stick with that family all the way, every time, as it's really dangerous and they'll keep you safe.' Who knows?
As I've said, I'd check in with the mum directly.
Personally, if I was genuinely worried about my kid walking to school, I'd either walk them myself, get a family member to, or ask someone if they didn't mind keeping an eye on them.

Yes, I agree. It’s very disturbing all round, and actually quite upsetting.