AIBU to tell my neighbour’s Year 6 child to stop walking to school with us?

[Msjamtoast]

I have two children, one in Year 4 and one in Reception. Every morning I walk them to school.
For the past two weeks, a neighbour’s Year 6 child has been coming along with us every morning. Our children know each other and sometimes play together locally, but the parents and I have never actually spoken. When the children play together, the parents don’t usually come out, so we’ve never met or had any arrangement about walking to school together.
The child told my Year 4 child that his mum had said it was dangerous for him to walk to school alone and that he should walk with us.
I’m uncomfortable with this. I’m already responsible for my two children, including a Reception child, and I don’t want to take responsibility for another family’s child.
If his parents feel he isn’t safe walking to school alone, I feel they should make their own arrangements rather than relying on us.
Would you tell the child he needs to make his own arrangements, or just let him continue walking with us?
Has anyone else experienced something similar with a neighbour’s child joining your school run?

What happens if someone random starts talking to the neighbours child, are you supposed to intervene?
Would you not have the basic humanity to do that if you saw it even if he wasn’t actually walking with you? Some people…

What an absolute cow.

The parents know what they are doing. They are making sure that their child is ready early enough to be able to come with you.

It is not your responsibility. And it’s pretty cheeky that the expectation is that they can just walk with you.

I would go and speak to the parents directly and ask if everything is okay as the child has been walking with you for the past two weeks but you’re not sure why that is.

Yes in my experience it happens in secondary. Both of my children (at different secondary schools) have done that with friends from other years from their primary school. Luckily children are a bit more community minded than some parents.

I've no idea how you read that into what I said 😂

My point is that he is just walking along a street and if the OP saw him get hit by a car she wouldn't leave him to die anyway, so what is the problem?

Well this is harsh and they were shitty, as OP is being here. This child is doing no harm at all. He can walk alone at his age but he probably feels more comfortable chatting to his mate. OP, for some reason, thinks it’s ok to try and hide from this child because his existence is unbearable.

If you were nervous walking home alone then your dad was responsible for dealing with that, not a strange adult.

Lots of posters are creating scenarios the OP never mentioned, scripting OPs responses to their imagined scenarios then criticising OP for their scripted response. Please deal with facts, not your personal hyperbole.

A couple of kids used to tag on when I walked my primary age kids to school. As they were no problem, I was quite happy to bring them along with us. 🤷‍♀️

Well you’re walking the same way, at the same time, so unless you want the poor kid to lag behind or run ahead so he isn’t walking ‘with’ you (which would be pretty petty), not sure there is much to be done.
Is it a particular risky route? Cos otherwise I’d have thought a year 6 would be capable of walking to school without adults. Doesn’t he have any friends?
Have a word with the parent. Maybe say you don’t mind him walking alongside you, as long as they know you aren’t responsible for him, and they shouldn’t rely on you keeping an eye on him because you have your own two to watch and maybe sometimes make alternative transport arrangements, or leave earlier than usual, etc….
If you really don’t want him walking with you at all (kinda mean but ok) then just leave a lot earlier one morning. They’ll get the message. I wouldn’t be saying it directly to the child.

It was her friend’s childminder who lived on the same street. If they got out of school at the same time, she’d have had to make a conscious effort to walk ahead or behind her friend who was going exactly the same way.
Nobody normal does that.

I think part of the issue is that as a kid you kind of have to be left to get on with it and overcome your nervousness. We are only a few weeks into the school year so by half term this kid may be off walking with other friends (and OP's son may well be disappointed and ask to walk with him)..

"The child told my Year 4 child that his mum had said it was dangerous for him to walk to school alone and that he should walk with us."

If his mum thinks it's too dangerous for him to walk to school alone then either she or another family member should take him to school, or, if that's not possible, then actually ask you personally if you're willing to accompany him to school. She shouldn't arbitrarily decide that a complete stranger that she's never even spoken to and who hasn't been notified about this is responsible for his safety.

You should speak to her directly, though, not arrange it all through the kid.

Must talk to the parent in a friendly way. You don't know they think
She might not have said anything.
Alot of aibu could be solved by having a chat.

How did he get to school last year when he was in year 5? Did his parents walk with him for the full year?

Don't do this it's very poor advice.

This.

It's not the kids fault.

You are not happy with the responsibility, tell them.

If he continues to walk with you after this, stop and tell him to walk by himself and you will be speaking to the school.

But he is year 6

Is there any confirmation that this is actually true though or just what the kid said

And then the child needs to set off to school and walks 5 paces behind OP and her children?

Does the child cause any issues on the school run OP? Does your child enjoy walking with him? You’re well with in your rights to say you aren’t responsible for him because you’ve got your own children but if he’s walking the same way anyway and around the same time how can you stop him from joining your child?
What if he didn’t walk with you and walked behind a bit and something happened, he fell over, hit by a car, attempted kidnap….. wouldn’t you help or say something for any child in those positions anyway regardless of if they’re walking with you or not?

OPs child is year 4, that’s who they mean can’t walk alone

The OP said: The child told my Year 4 child that his mum had said it was dangerous for him to walk to school alone and that he should walk with us.

If she thinks it's not safe then she should walk him there herself, not rely on someone else to look out for her kid.

Why? No sarcasm. Interested to hear why you feel this is a bad suggestion?

Are you coming from a safeguarding perspective or is there something else I am missing?

You suggested to speak to the parents in your own reply on this thread. I have suggested the same so I am a little confused by your reply here.

Imagine being that kid.
Having your friend’s mum knock on your door to tell your parents to keep you away from them on the school run. And then tell you this to your face, alongside a threat to report to the school (!) should you dare to speak to your friend as you pass by thereafter.
You’d wonder how some people were actually raised themselves, that they’d think this was in any way the act of a reasonable person.

I’d def be knocking on the parents’ door - I wouldn’t be comfortable with a kid walking with me without it being ‘official’ - are you responsible for him or is he an independent traveller (my DC school had a list of year 6s who walked on their own).
What happens if you or DC are ill, or something happens on the way in (child falls or you need to pop to a shop etc).