AIBU to think leaving a WhatsApp activity group without a word is rude?

[girlfriend44]

Aibu to think it's rude when people leave activity groups that they were welcomed into. (What's App) Without saying anything?

We welcomed two people they were friends to an activity, made them welcome and they said they enjoyed it and would come back and looked forward to it.

Fast forward a while we have not seen them or heard at all. Today I noticed they've both left the group, one and then the other followed shortly after.

Can't they just say thanks for welcoming us or nice to meet you, but we are unable to attend anymore and then leave.

People are so bloody rude.

It would finish it off much better if they communicated and you'd think much more of them.
Makes you wonder why you bother?
Perhaps when they attended we should have been rude and unwelcoming instead of friendly.

Sounds like the two who left dodged a bullet … WhatsApp seem’s to bring out the worst in some people.

That. And I've never known anyone announce that they're leaving a group chat of acquaintances rather than good friends

It's just a whatsapp group, get a grip

I think people don't seem to get what whatssap is.. It's meant to be low pressure. Of course they don't need to say anything.

Whilst at it are you one of those who get offended when people don't reply immediately on whatssapp. Or reply with an emoji
This taking offense stuff seems to happen with the more senior generation. Like mils saying their dils haven't replied to xmas plans sent three months in advance or the random pic on holiday

They were just not interested in the activity and therefore didn’t need to receive updates, so left. Not rude, just practical.

I think it would have been polite to let the person who is the group admin who joined them to the group know. I can see why perhaps they didn’t want to make a big thing about it on the full group but if someone has invited them and welcomed them, then yes I think it’s rude to sneak away without saying anything.

“We had a great time, look forward to doing it again” is often the equivalent of bumping into someone you knew from the school run years ago and saying “we must meet for coffee sometime” - both sides know there will not actually be a coffee meeting, it’s the polite thing you say.

Why do you care so much - did you go to great lengths to accommodate them? Do they owe you more than the thanks/enthusiasm they showed at the time?

Seems like you have expectations of Whatsapp group etiquette that just do not exist, OP.

You are judging them for not making a direct address about a perceived issue whilst also not directly addressing it and coming here to have a moan instead.

Just message them and ask what's up if you really need to know, FFS!

No I don’t think it’s rude. I’m sure if they said why they were going to leave and then left people would probably complain that was rude. They probably just thought leaving quietly without a massive drama was more polite.

I agree with @Moveoverdarlinsometimes it’s painful with the sheer volume of WhatsApp messages in these groups.

I've left family groups without announcing. They were talking bulshit :). No, is not rude for me, and if you add me without permission or arrangement I am not staying. I don't give a monkeys Susan thinks I'm rude, if the chat is not appealing to me I exit. Is not for me, that's it no need to justify myself. I have more important things to worry about.

Because to some group admin, it’s the most important thing in their whole lives.

If I found myself in a WhatsApp group where people routinely used 'abit' and 'alot' I'm afraid I'd leave as well as I can do without all the hassle plus having my eyes pained every time I have to look at that.

Not rude at all.
I suspect if they had given a reason, you'd still be here making a thread about how rude it was.

How do you manage to stay on Mumsnet?

Nice bit of agesim there. You're talking about your mil not every person older than you. It's not a good look.

I left a work group chat after 4 years going on MAT leave and didn't say a word 🤣 no drama or big exit here. As really rude as it sounds it's not family, a good friend or loved one, I don't feel the need too.

With great difficulty and not a little rage!

Exactly. Social Cowardice. You dont have to make an announcement to everyone, you can always send a message to admin to be polite.
They expressed an interest in coming after all and said see you again. Social Cowardice.

I would not, your assuming alot Id think it was nice of them to say something before leaving

What would that have gained?
Would you have followed up their message asking why they left?
Maybe they just wanted to bow out gracefully.

LOL

How many eggs do you want in that pudding?

"How many eggs do you want in that pudding?"

alot

I agree- they likely would know you would definitely have messaged back and like or not they must have had their reasons, and wanted to end it there...?

Is it more or less rude than staying in the group but muting or archiving it?

Is it more or less rude than going to a class once or twice and then never going again?

No, the only difference is you actively know they have made the decision to step away so in that sense I would say it's less rude to leave the group than stay in it but change settings so you never have to see the conversation again.

I used to be a regular in a pilates class. I initially stopped because I was due to be 9 months pregnant when the next term started. As things ended up I got really unwell in pregnancy and haven't been able to return. I've spoken a few times to the instructor about whether I felt up to returning but I absolutely would not raise that at all in a WhatsApp group and absolutely would have quietly left the group had there been one.

No one owes you an explanation for anything.

Yes and that is the very reason they decided not to announce it.