AIBU to think leaving a WhatsApp activity group without a word is rude?

[girlfriend44]

Aibu to think it's rude when people leave activity groups that they were welcomed into. (What's App) Without saying anything?

We welcomed two people they were friends to an activity, made them welcome and they said they enjoyed it and would come back and looked forward to it.

Fast forward a while we have not seen them or heard at all. Today I noticed they've both left the group, one and then the other followed shortly after.

Can't they just say thanks for welcoming us or nice to meet you, but we are unable to attend anymore and then leave.

People are so bloody rude.

It would finish it off much better if they communicated and you'd think much more of them.
Makes you wonder why you bother?
Perhaps when they attended we should have been rude and unwelcoming instead of friendly.

I'm not getting the WhatsApp rage.
Two people left for their own reasons.
A complete non issue.

I've never joined a What's App group nor would I so I don't now if these people were rude or not.

Oh maybe you left the one I’m in. We re older and all friendly and it’s great. I love being able to say I’m running late and someone saves a space, and having a curry night is a laugh.

I leave shared interest groups without saying anything if i have a look around, give it a go, and decide it'snot for me.. They aren’t my friends and tbh I assume nobody gives a shit whether I'm there or not and aren't interested in me explaining why i don't like it. I don't think I'm important enough to need to announce my departure. And they sure as shit won't want to hear me tell them why I don't like the activity/interest they enjoy.

It's like when people start a thread on here to tell us all the ways mumsnet is shit and that they're deregistering.

Nobody gives a flying fuck love, crack on.

Maybe you are too intense and they felt awkward. It happens, relax.

I wondered that.

This! It’s not a blood bond swearing lifelong loyalty.

Yes it’s a bit rude, but hardly enough to keep you up at night .

(I was put on a family Whattsap and asked to be taken off after three mornings of updates about someone’s bowel issues and the consequent messages of celebration/ commiserations that ensued.)

They were the absolute opposite of “rude and blunt”.

You said they thanked people in person after this mystery activity. They then left the arrangements group without a fuss when they decided it wasn’t for them. So in fact they were polite in person, and then discreetly left the group without making a big fuss about it. No rudeness. No bluntness. It was a group solely to make arrangements for an activity. They didn’t want to do the activity again so they said a polite and tactful thank you in person and left the group because clearly they don’t need to be in it any more.

“Rude and blunt” would have been saying “I really didn’t enjoy any of this shit so I’m leaving your group. TTFN, dickheads.”

It wasn’t a chat group for friends. It was simply to share arrangements for an activity they were no longer interested in. Would you also expect people to send a message every time they unsubscribe from an email mailing list for a company they no longer wish to buy things from? Because leaving this WhatsApp group is the equivalent of unsubscribing from an email mailing list.

I think it depends how big the group is and how well you know everyone. If it's a big group with plenty of people I don't know well, I tend to just leave. If it's smaller and I have previously been active then I leave with a short note to say bye.

I personally do think it’s rude, but I also think it’s so common nowadays that there’s no point in even mentioning it. People flake on everything any time now with no issue.

How did they 'flake'?

They no longer do the activity so they simply left the group that arranges them.

Would you keep a milk carton once it's empty?

I agree Op. Communication is key and a few words isn’t too much to ask.

How many people are in the group? If it is purely used to arrange the activity they probably didn't feel it needed a departure announcement. Sometimes I just do a bit of housekeeping and tidy up social media, removing myself from groups I'm not needing any more.

I see that too.

Perhaps they were being polite about enjoying themselves?
Then thought they could quietly slip away.... happens all the time.

Agree.

@girlfriend44 just wanted to let you know that I have read a few of these replies but I've seen enough. I won't be returning here to read anymore. Take care everyone.

Are you angry because they didn't ask for your permission to leave?

If it was a big group of people I’d only met once I’d assume that no one would yet care if I left or stayed, and that announcing my departure would therefore be a bit self-important. I might send a private DM to the person who invited me to say “thanks but it’s not my cup of tea”, if I they were someone I’d likely see again.

Leave the group quietly

Or

I am leaving the group coz tbh it's a bit shit. The notifications are doing my brain in. I was only being polite when I said I enjoyed the activity and that is why I never came back, never posted in the group or signed up again for said activity. I was going to just delete myself out of the group seeing as it is not for me but I thought it better to announce it here instead because I didn't want to be rude or come across as flaky! I am now pressing the leave button!
Take Care. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I'd say announcing it is often seen as a flounce and gets responses like don't let the door hit you on the backside etc. I think you're massively overthinking this. Maybe they found you just a bit too much (like you are being on here), so quietly bowed out. That's what most people would do. I wouldn't announce minor admin like leaving a WhatsApp chat. That has too much main character energy imo.

Its a WhatsApp group not a train station I wouldnt think to announce my departure

If the group (as you have said) is just about organising times etc, then people leaving is no big deal.
Not a chat group, and no need to invite comments and speculation about them leaving.

Why are you so wound up about something so inconsequential?

If they actually decided the activity wasn't for them, why not. No point in keeping it muted (which I do for groups I have to be in), I'd probably have said thanks but not doing it anymore, if you'd spent time helping me, but then a lot of people aren't polite now.