AIBU to think leaving a WhatsApp activity group without a word is rude?

[girlfriend44]

Aibu to think it's rude when people leave activity groups that they were welcomed into. (What's App) Without saying anything?

We welcomed two people they were friends to an activity, made them welcome and they said they enjoyed it and would come back and looked forward to it.

Fast forward a while we have not seen them or heard at all. Today I noticed they've both left the group, one and then the other followed shortly after.

Can't they just say thanks for welcoming us or nice to meet you, but we are unable to attend anymore and then leave.

People are so bloody rude.

It would finish it off much better if they communicated and you'd think much more of them.
Makes you wonder why you bother?
Perhaps when they attended we should have been rude and unwelcoming instead of friendly.

Its watsapp. Get a grip.

No not all. It's not like that it's just basically people making arrangements .

They don’t have to

Every word of this. They quietly left without fuss. That's not being rude.

And they no longer want to make arrangements 🤷‍♀️

If it is just about arrangements (fair enough) then it is no big deal they left. They don't want to go anymore.

If they no longer have an interest in the activity so they left. They're not your best pals, not even mates.

I certainly wouldn't expect someone to say thank you for adding me to a group that I no longer wish to be part of. That would sound sarcastic or facetious.

It's odd you'd take their disengagement so personally.

Those people were never IN the group.
Look you had to look to realise they had left.
No one has realised they had left or were not participating in any shape or form.

Why getting so upset about 2 people leaving that were never integrated into the group?
You can say that group is to organise meeting up only but they didn’t do that 🤷‍♀️

And I’ve never been on a Whattsapp group where you didn’t just leave the group when it wasn’t working for you anymore. That’s not how it works. Even if YOU find it rude.

I think your judgement of these people is rude.

Besides who made you the arbiter of WhatsApp group etiquette? It didn't exist when we were taught our Ps and Qs. We're all making it up as we go along. Maybe taking up unnecessary space saying goodbye in a group which solely exists to schedule an activity, and pushing unnecessary notifications on the other members of the group is actually the rude thing

No. I really don’t think it’s rude, but I can see how in a small group you might feel a bit snubbed. In my experience it’s kinda hard to leave a WhatsApp group! I put it on mute, archive it etc, but out of politeness I stay so I don’t case offence but I think it’s silly on my part. There’s no need to be in a group if you’re not active.

I was added to a bunch of groups when I moved into this village. I felt like an imposter as the chat was quite personal yet I didn’t really know anyone - worse - I half knew who they were in the community but didn’t know them to say hello to - so I really felt like a fly on the wall.

when one group did a “no hard feelings it’s ok to leave if you want to!” clean out I said my goodbye and left but honestly I wish it was the societal norm to just leave and for it not to be offensive.

I wonder why they didn’t want to message you. You sound so approachable and friendly.

Sounds like a whole load of drama over nothing.

How many people were in this group?

OP, it sounds like the group and the activities etc are very very important in your life.

And that's fine, but you can't expect everyone to feel the same as you.

For some, they'll give it a go, realise it's not for them and then leave without a fuss.

Nothing wrong with that and it isn't rude.

Your reaction seems a bit disproportionate. Lots of people might think the diplomatic thing to do is quietly slink off if they decide an activity isn't for them rather than make a big announcement. It doesn't sound like you invested a huge amount of time or energy into them if they only came once? You made them welcome, which is the minimum anyone should expect when joining an activity.

Perhaps when they said they enjoyed it they were being polite or perhaps they did enjoy it but didn't want to commit to it regularly. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

I think it’s actually very self centred and look at me to announce your departure. It sounds like they were trying to be polite and discreet, which is fine. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Someone else joining or leaving a WhatsApp group is not all about you.

Is it a swinger’s group?

If they were good friends of yours I'd expect them to say something privately. Probably not to announce they were leaving to the group. They'd politely said they enjoyed the activity, and may have thought nobody would mind much whether they left or stayed.

Your posts are weird and it is no wonder they quietly slipped away if the WhatsApp group was similar to your posts here.

But if they're not doing the activity anymore, the group is completely redundant to them, so why wouldn't they just close that door quietly?

No need for a song and dance.

Your posts are dramatic and quite aggressive. It’s not rude to just quietly leave a WhatsApp group. You don’t seem to understand some social niceties.

If it's not a social WhatsApp group and used only for logistics then I think it's perfectly normal to exit unannounced.

Seriously wondering if we were in the same yoga group! 🤣

Some people literally don't like being in ongoing WhatsApp groups, or already have too many. Yes they can mute them but they can also leave- I don't see it as rude particularly. Life admin?

if they have decided to leave t hey are not going to get any fond farewells
may as well just go

So you met them once?? Had they ever commented on the chat??
They came to try it out, were polite on the night and said they’d enjoyed it (not quite sure what else you’d expect them to say at the time) but have gone away and decided it actually isn’t for them. So they’ve removed themselves from the group with minimal fuss. Have saved awkward conversations and explanations.