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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be disappointed Dolly Parton supported biological men using women's toilets?

781 replies

Jane3212 · 21/09/2026 00:44

I really liked her music and she seemed like a nice person: her Imagination Library came to my borough recently. I was very sad to hear she'd died.
But was very disappointed to read this. The statements she made about trans people deserving respect, no issue with those.
But minimising the reasonable concerns women have about being forced to let men in their toilets was wrong.
I'm not saying she should have spoken out for GC issues. It might have been best just not to comment.
Parton had connections with drag queens and I wonder if that's the lens she saw transwomen through : not an excuse but might partially explain.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
riod · 21/09/2026 20:34

AStonedRose · 21/09/2026 15:57

No, you've had multiple posts deleted. For bullying and harrassing.

You don't read other people's posts properly. What a surprise.

I think you’ve mistaken me for another poster. I’ve just gone back and all my posts are there. Unless I’ve missed one. I can see other deletions for @Soupsavior and others.
I did see all the likes my posts got though, so thanks for the heads up!

riod · 21/09/2026 20:36

and @AStonedRose I didn’t bully or harass anyone at any time, unless disagreeing with people is now
coming under the banner of bullying.

riod · 21/09/2026 20:37

and I haven’t reported a single post, although some of the TRA ones would certainly qualify for deletion.. I believe in free speech.

Keeptoiletssafe · 21/09/2026 20:47

AStonedRose · 21/09/2026 19:36

Respectfully, this is nuts.

My dad was a shopfitter, though he did loos too. he told me the gap was there so the cubicle didn't fill with water and piss if there was an accident (my words not his). Any safety benefit benefit is (a) incidental, (b) marginal and (c) and more than negated by the risk of someone sticking something under the door.

And if a man wants to enter a women's space to commit a crime, the better disguise (from just about every angle) is as a cleaner or other workman, not as a woman. ffs.

Edited

Any safety benefit benefit is (a) incidental, (b) marginal and (c) and more than negated by the risk of someone sticking something under the door.

Respectfully, you have your dad’s opinion. I have a lot of research and have spoken to many people including manufacturers and building safety people about this. Have a look at BS6465 which has 4 parts and has been around decades. I am not announcing anything that isn’t already known in standards and regulations. The health and safety benefits of gaps are known and listed so are not marginal and incidental. What I have done is collate a lot of recent incidents and relate them back to the design of toilets. Because designs have changed so much recently and it was out of control.

There is a risk of voyeurism with any toilet design. This is typically by men and so women benefit from single sex toilets.

Do you know the first standards for toilets were by publicans? The measurements inside a cubicle were based on a man standing up to urinate. That’s why it’s so difficult for a woman to use. The move to make cubicles as small as possible by one provider was to discourage two people using the cubicle for sex.

WouldYouLikeAnyToast · 21/09/2026 22:45

I did see all the likes my posts got though, so thanks for the heads up!

🤣
Ooh ooh are we doing this now?! 😁 Sorry, just catching up with the thread.
I'll share the fact I got lots too then lol

Goatsarebest · 21/09/2026 22:58

You're not BU to feel disappointed, if you are disappointed. Your disappointment will make no difference to anything.
That's it really.

TooBigForMyBoots · 21/09/2026 22:59

Yes, YABU @Jane3212. For lots of different reasons.
🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

And FWR wonder why they have a bad rep.🙄

Shatteredremnants · 21/09/2026 23:06

Some people will hold opinions you disagree with. Some of those people will be people you admire and like. I’m not sure why it’s such an issue. I have good friends who I disagree with about various issues. I don’t find it disappointing, I find it a normal fact of life.

Keeptoiletssafe · 21/09/2026 23:11

If anyone watches Dolly in Nine to Five (great old film and it’s on Netflix at the moment) you’ll see what I mean about doors resting in the open position and the lack of surprise of finding someone dead in an enclosed toilet. Bet y’all notice that now.

LizzieW1969 · 21/09/2026 23:25

Jane3212 · 21/09/2026 18:04

How is it a 'despicable smear' to criticise one documented thing she said?

But why mention it at all? She was entitled to her views, same as you are.

Subaroo · 22/09/2026 00:39

Verv · 21/09/2026 18:16

Havent read the whole thread but yes, YABU.
I'm staunchly gender critical but readfing the first few linked articles - I won't be crucifying Dolly.

“I just want everybody to be treated good,” Parton said when asked about the ban in “I try not to get into the politics of everything. I try to get into the human element of it. I have some of everybody in my own immediate family and in my circle of employees. I’ve got transgender people. I’ve got gays. I’ve got lesbians. I’ve got drunks. I’ve got drug addicts — all within my own family. I know and love them all, and I do not judge.”

This is not worthy of condemnation.

She's a singer, and a woman who sought to do good, and see good.

She focused a lot on poverty and literacy - and has achieved a HUGE amount with that - JK has focused on women and girls.
Two different women achieving great things.

Posthumous "Dolly didnt scream about TIMS" grizzling does not reflect well.

Do you have a source for that quote?

WouldYouLikeAnyToast · 22/09/2026 00:55

Subaroo · 22/09/2026 00:39

Do you have a source for that quote?

If you're genuinely interested, here you go. Only took a minute of googling.
A Hollywood Reporter article, 2023

www.hollywoodreporter.com/dailyedition/03-11-2023/1235636123/

Subaroo · 22/09/2026 01:01

WouldYouLikeAnyToast · 22/09/2026 00:55

If you're genuinely interested, here you go. Only took a minute of googling.
A Hollywood Reporter article, 2023

www.hollywoodreporter.com/dailyedition/03-11-2023/1235636123/

I did search but that didn't come up for me, so thanks.

Btc76 · 22/09/2026 04:10

Another human being has a different opinion to me about something. SO DISAPPOINTED

Rollingpinofdoom · 22/09/2026 06:16

Meh. She also believed in a sky fairy. People can believe what they want as long as their beliefs do not impact other people.

NotNowFGS · 22/09/2026 08:06

TheOriginalEmu · 21/09/2026 02:01

or maybe she realised that bigotry is shit and she didn’t support it. You are being unreasonable to try and rationalise away her support of trans people to make it fit your own agenda.

It's not bigotry to want female spaces to be female only. Nor is it progressive. OP I too am always disappointed when clever women support men's wants rather than women's needs and whether such women are dead or alive is neither here nor there (I'm thinking of Margaret Atwood amongst others).

YNABU.

Soupsavior · 22/09/2026 08:24

riod · 21/09/2026 20:34

I think you’ve mistaken me for another poster. I’ve just gone back and all my posts are there. Unless I’ve missed one. I can see other deletions for @Soupsavior and others.
I did see all the likes my posts got though, so thanks for the heads up!

I see you wish to tag me but still haven't answered the very simple question of why you think the supreme court ruling should affect what anyone especially those in another jurisdiction believes or thinks?

I've had one deletion, which ironically is because I described two traits as quite common amongst men. Another demo of how many on here lambasting women for their opinions are men.

Soupsavior · 22/09/2026 08:26

riod · 21/09/2026 20:37

and I haven’t reported a single post, although some of the TRA ones would certainly qualify for deletion.. I believe in free speech.

Do you believe in reading? Because you still don't seem to be following that PP didn't accuse you of reporting anyone.

riod · 22/09/2026 09:36

Soupsavior · 22/09/2026 08:26

Do you believe in reading? Because you still don't seem to be following that PP didn't accuse you of reporting anyone.

I was making a statement, in defence of free speech.
Do you believe in free speech?

riod · 22/09/2026 09:36

NotNowFGS · 22/09/2026 08:06

It's not bigotry to want female spaces to be female only. Nor is it progressive. OP I too am always disappointed when clever women support men's wants rather than women's needs and whether such women are dead or alive is neither here nor there (I'm thinking of Margaret Atwood amongst others).

YNABU.

exactly this

EmailsaysOOO · 22/09/2026 10:24

leh13579 · 21/09/2026 13:41

lol transphobe crying that dead person wasn't a transphobe.

if you're worried about men pretending to be trans women to get into women's toilets to attack women you're not afraid of trans women, you're afraid of men.

God only knows why I'm asking this. I really don't want to be in this debate , but anyway here goes.

"If you're worried about men pretending to be trans women to get into women's toilets to attack women you're not afraid of trans women, you're afraid of men."

Yes that's it, isn't it? The posters who feel this way believe all men to be a potential threat. I guess I'm agreeing with your summation. I don't usually pay much attention to this issue. But I can see how a woman can feel that way, not that it would ever influence my views on toilets at all. But I think this encapsulates the thinking here, does it ?

Verv · 22/09/2026 10:35

Subaroo · 22/09/2026 00:39

Do you have a source for that quote?

It was copy and pasted directly from one of the articles that the OP posted.

Now you have the source courtesy of another poster do you have anything to say about it?

riod · 22/09/2026 11:23

EmailsaysOOO · 22/09/2026 10:24

God only knows why I'm asking this. I really don't want to be in this debate , but anyway here goes.

"If you're worried about men pretending to be trans women to get into women's toilets to attack women you're not afraid of trans women, you're afraid of men."

Yes that's it, isn't it? The posters who feel this way believe all men to be a potential threat. I guess I'm agreeing with your summation. I don't usually pay much attention to this issue. But I can see how a woman can feel that way, not that it would ever influence my views on toilets at all. But I think this encapsulates the thinking here, does it ?

exactly. Because trans women are male, so not a sub category of female. They’re as much a risk as any other male.

riod · 22/09/2026 11:28

Soupsavior · 22/09/2026 08:24

I see you wish to tag me but still haven't answered the very simple question of why you think the supreme court ruling should affect what anyone especially those in another jurisdiction believes or thinks?

I've had one deletion, which ironically is because I described two traits as quite common amongst men. Another demo of how many on here lambasting women for their opinions are men.

because we can’t just ignore the law if it offends our belief system or religion. Female means biological female in law, therefore males should not enter sex segregated spaces like toilets. Many transwomen are respectful of the dignity of our spaces and wouldn’t enter a female toilet or a rape survivor group for women. But some trans women insist on still using these spaces and some seem to enjoy taking a photo in said space and sharing it on social media.
I wonder why that is. Do you?

TheOriginalEmu · 22/09/2026 11:47

NotNowFGS · 22/09/2026 08:06

It's not bigotry to want female spaces to be female only. Nor is it progressive. OP I too am always disappointed when clever women support men's wants rather than women's needs and whether such women are dead or alive is neither here nor there (I'm thinking of Margaret Atwood amongst others).

YNABU.

Dolly clearly thought it was bigotry, and you saying it isn’t doesn’t make it so. 🤷‍♂️

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