AIBU to still regret getting a 2:1 instead of a first?

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It’s been 10 years since I graduated from university and I still can’t shake off the regret that I got a 2:1 and not a first. I know that a 2:1 is perfectly fine for the vast majority of jobs and nothing to be ashamed of, my more and more people have gotten firsts for the past 20 years or so. When I graduated in 2016, about 33% of humanities graduates from my uni got firsts. I just felt so stupid, incapable, inadequate….. I know people say that grades and numbers can’t define us, but I sort of did let it.

I still can’t shake off this horrible regret that I didn’t get one. I got a high first in my second year and was so pleased, I genuinely loved my subject and had applied myself. In my final year (which largely determines degree class where I went), I became quite depressed and stressed. I could never focus and never really adequately prepared for my exams. I just can’t stop wishing that I had pulled myself together in some way.

Some of you, if you read this far, might think, “well if you have a decent job, nobody gives a damn what degree you got”, and yes, fair. Yet there are certain supposedly ‘elite’ jobs where a first is strongly preferred, and I think not getting one ruined my chances of those.

Anyway, if anyone else has ever felt the same way, or knows someone who does, and wants to share ideas or experiences, maybe that will be helpful.

Since you have left uni… how’s life panned out professionally for you?

Sorry you feel like this. I’m slightly cracking open my Puffin Book of Amateur Psychology, but do it think you feel guilty for how you were / what you did in your final year? If so, YABU and should give yourself a break. You did as well as you could under the circumstances

I'm sorry that you still need to dwell on this. Have you had any support for your mental health because it still seems to an issue for you. Do you have a job now and is it ok? Do you think better grades would have put you somewhere different now? When was the last time you applied for a job and they asked what your grades were 10yrs ago?

Has it had an impact on your life do you think?

I can honestly say I've never given my 2.1 a second thought in the 20+ years since I got it. Sorry that it's causing you such upset but it's a long time ago and if it's bothering you so much I think you either need to let it go and accept that it is what it is, or seek some help maybe.

I got a 2:1 and honestly have never given it any thought since. It hasn’t made any difference to my career.

I might feel differently today because the work market is so tough. Who knows.

You need to be gentle with yourself. You were depressed and unable to focus so given the circumstances I think a 2:1 is great.

33% of firsts in a degree course is very very high! I graduated with a 2:1 in 1999 and out of 120, 1 person got a first. When I went to uni the general consensus was that those with a 1st often lacked other essential skills that employees valued more than academics. Communication, emotional intelligence etc. now no idea if this is true to all sectors but to mine a 2:1 is typically preferred for these reasons.

But on a more pragmatic note, you can’t change it so why dwell on a regret from years ago. I could say the same about my A’levels grades, like many people I did not reach my potential. But life’s too short to dwell on the past. Learn from the past, look forward and live for the moment. That’s the best you can do.

I think you need to be a lot kinder to yourself, op. If you were stressed and suffering from depression in you final year, there isn't any way you could have "pulled yourself together". Depression really doesn't work like that - if only it were so easy!

The vast majority of people never have the opportunity to go for an “elite” job, for reasons completely unrelated to the classification of their degree. I think you’re wasting time regretting something you can’t change and that, really, doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

Take pleasure in your achievement, many people never get to do a degree much less achieve a high class of degree.

I have a first.
Noone cares (except my mum).

I sometimes feel that way but I remember that I had a very difficult second year (abusive relationship) so it’s no surprise things didn’t go as well as I might have liked. And a 2:1 certainly isn’t a bad result. After working for a few years, I went back to uni to do my postgraduate in the same subject as my undergraduate and got a Distinction. I also just really enjoyed it and met one of my best friends on my course. Maybe that’s something to consider now or in the future if you’d enjoy going back to education?

33% got firsts? That seems anomalous

Depends on perspective but I think ok, not amazing but ok. I don’t want to reveal too much information about myself online, but I’ll speak in the abstract.

I did a Masters and got a first in that as I thought I wanted to stay in academia. I then decided that I wanted to be in a ‘glitzy’, high paid career, so tried one career path, but was intimidated by the competition and just thought, ‘more and more candidates get firsts every year, so what’s the point in me trying to break through?’ I then had a few years working in retail and hospitality, and then trained to be a teacher because there’s a shortage and I didn’t know what else I could do. It’s never been my dream, but then not everyone can have their ideal job.

I felt the same way - mostly because I knew afterwards that I should have worked more and partied less. I was busy having a great time.
I went back to uni and did a masters, just to prove to myself that I could knuckle down.
I don’t think I gained anything career-wise by doing an MA, but I really enjoyed it, made some amazing friends and it helped my confidence no end.

Haha me too. It was 5 years ago and my mum
still drops it into conversations if she can (I was neatly 50 though so she’d waited 30 years)

I wanted to laugh react to this. I’m sure it could’ve been helpful if you’d wanted to apply for certain competitive roles, like finance or elite law firms.

I got a 2:2 in Physics. My life went to shit including a 23 week loss. It has not defined me. I have 18 years experience too in my field and nobody gives a crap about my grade.

2:1 is fine - blaming your lack of career success on it - isn't. It's simply not true that this will hold you back.

Thank you. The university tutor wasn’t gentle - he said that if you don’t get a first, then you couldn’t.

I was a bit disappointed at the time because my coursework comprised all very high 2:1s with a few low firsts, but I did what I could do whilst working part time and still having a life. I really enjoyed my time at uni and loved my course, I just didn't have what it took to give that extra push and get my grades over the line.

I'm older than you though, and firsts certainly weren't given to a third of the students! I went to a solid RG where there majority got 2:1s, so maybe it's comparing yourself to your peers that's making you feel this way?

I did really disappoint myself on my A levels, though. I was going through a really, really tough time personally though and looking back, was clearly depressed. You did the best you could do at that time and that's all you can ask of yourself.

In general I would agree with you, but there are a few highly competitive sectors where a first is highly preferable, if not almost essential.

I have two undergrad degrees - a 2:1 for one and a 1st for the other. Makes no meaningful difference to me.

If it upsets you that much, could you do a part-time degree through the OU in a subject your love or would find useful in your career? Credit transfer would let you transfer up to 180 credits.

If it’s any consolation pretty much all my friends kids graduating have got firsts and many are really not academic. Apparently 40% get firsts now in my day it was 7%. So definitely devalued

And what about personally? Happy? Are you in a relationship? Friends? Generally in a ”good place”?

I was about to post to say similar. I don’t think anyone cares beyond the initial mum bragging session! I honestly think it’s made zero difference to what a 2-1 would have done and I have a professional career with a professional qualification (surrounded by people that mostly didn’t get firsts).

Edited to add - I saw OP replied to this one too and I am in one of the professions you mentioned.