AIBU to still regret getting a 2:1 instead of a first?

[onedayillmoveon]

It’s been 10 years since I graduated from university and I still can’t shake off the regret that I got a 2:1 and not a first. I know that a 2:1 is perfectly fine for the vast majority of jobs and nothing to be ashamed of, my more and more people have gotten firsts for the past 20 years or so. When I graduated in 2016, about 33% of humanities graduates from my uni got firsts. I just felt so stupid, incapable, inadequate….. I know people say that grades and numbers can’t define us, but I sort of did let it.

I still can’t shake off this horrible regret that I didn’t get one. I got a high first in my second year and was so pleased, I genuinely loved my subject and had applied myself. In my final year (which largely determines degree class where I went), I became quite depressed and stressed. I could never focus and never really adequately prepared for my exams. I just can’t stop wishing that I had pulled myself together in some way.

Some of you, if you read this far, might think, “well if you have a decent job, nobody gives a damn what degree you got”, and yes, fair. Yet there are certain supposedly ‘elite’ jobs where a first is strongly preferred, and I think not getting one ruined my chances of those.

Anyway, if anyone else has ever felt the same way, or knows someone who does, and wants to share ideas or experiences, maybe that will be helpful.

So why get hung up on the very small proportion of particular jobs where you feel it mattered. Did you want to be a barrister, or work in elite finance? Teaching is a long way off both of those career paths, and I know some incredibly successful teachers.

If you have the capacity to be super successful you’ll find a way, some people (most) never get there, what makes you think you could if not for your degree?

If you went where I think you might have gone, you did just fine 💐

Thank you. It wasn’t clinical depression which merits hospitalisation, but I did go to a GP because I wasn’t sleeping or eating very much, and cried every other day. I completed a questionnaire it came out as mild to moderate depression. So it wasn’t severe, but I couldn’t focus on any academic work and revise.

I got a first. I also got a place on one of the top grad schemes in the country (I’m a chartered accountant). My degree classification sifted me into the ‘suitable to apply’ pile, but I could have still gotten where I am with a 2:1, the first made no difference whatsoever to my career path. And as soon as I got onto my grad scheme and became chartered, no one cared about my degree either.

I think getting 2:1 or above is important for a lot of grad schemes, but I’m not convinced a first makes much difference for most.

33% getting a First isn't that unbelievable. The average across the board is about 27%, so 33% is hardly a stretch to believe.

And a 2:1 is a very good result @onedayillmoveon Stop beating yourself up about something you can do nothing about. You sound like you might benefit from therapy. Have you spoken to anyone about this?

I achieved significantly worse than a 2.1. I was a bit sad immediately afterwards as it felt like a waste of 3 years. I also have very poor GCSEs. I've never put my degree class on my CV and no-one has ever asked. Fast forward a couple of decades and I have an Uber senior job plus an ADHD diagnosis. All made sense. I am very capable, intelligent and skilled. I do now have a first class masters because I learnt how to work with my ADHD. I didn't particularly need the MSc for work but I do put that class on my CV 🤣

It’s true. Those were the figures for my uni in 2015 and 2016.

DH and I both graduated in the 1980s

He got a double first from Cambridge

I got a 2:1 from a poly.

No one gives a fuck. None of our friends would know (or care) what class degree we got.

I do think that degree classification was different 30 years ago plus. Far less people got firsts, many people got 2:2s and it wasn’t considered a fatal blow by many employers. The world is different now.

Did it actually impact your career though? Did it impact anything really?

Oh OP 🫂
I dropped from a first to a 2:2 in 2012 because I misread the dissertation deadline and my grade got capped at 40% for being six days late! At the time I was distraught, but I have a fab job, an MA, a lovely life... It was a silly mistake that felt like the end of the world, but it really wasn't.

Your dropped grade isn't the end of the world either. Could you perhaps do an MA or another qualification to give yourself another shot and really give it your all?

Or maybe if studying again isn't an option, write a letter to your 2016 self saying how far you've come and listing out what you love about your life, and maybe that you recognise how well she did to get you through the degree at all in such circumstances.

No one can change how you feel except you, but I'm sure you've a lot to be proud of and a 2:1 is not to be sniffed at at all! Xx

I would say yes, because it meant I was unable to apply for a particular role I wanted in a competitive field.

I know quite a few people who got firsts at uni (Russell group) and are now leading troubled lives in their 40s, barely making ends meet. And I know people who got 2:2s who are doing brilliantly. Getting a first doesn’t guarantee anything. You really need to stop torturing yourself over this.

The thing that is essential for a glitzy career is resilience and it has always been important - not being beat down by setbacks - from what you have told us OP - you were low on resilience due low mental health.

The one thing I tell my kids about everything from passing their driving test to getting a job is that you fail for certain every time when you don't try again.

I think you gave up and resigned yourself to teaching - you weren't in the right place mentally to fight back - I'm not convinced you are there yet when you are still blaming your 2:1.

I was on track for a first in my second year then got a 2.1 in my final year,
I transferred to law and did a GDL and got training contract offers for top city firms. It didn’t hinder me. I gave up law and went into tech and it’s never even come up. No one cares and I work at the top level of my game but not as high as I could be
what’s actually hindered me is maternity leaves and not being able to afford an MBA although I am contacted every year my Oxford and Cambridge to go on their executive MBA
whats hindered you is not your 2.1, but switching careers, not having confidence in yourself and probably the fact you did humanities and not something more aligned with the actual career you wanted and not having the tenancity to carry on when you hit knockbacks.
Not the 2.1.
It’s never too late to go into law though, on my GDL there were plenty of people up to even age 80. One girl on my course started it when she was 30 and is now a partner in a global firm in Dubai. She didn’t have a 1st. The GDL you can take with any undergrad degree behind you.

This is true. I did so little work in my final year I thought I might get a 2:2.

I got a First from a top university. It has made zero difference to my career - my husband in comparison got a 2:2 and he's the high flyer of the two of us. I wish I hadn't bothered with university to be honest and gone straight into work. At least I was in the £3k per year cohort rather than the insane student debt that current graduates are saddled with.

You haven’t been able to let this go.
I think you would benefit from a few sessions with a mentor and let them help you get rid of the feeling of disappointment. You have gone on to create your own life, that was just a stepping stone and you can’t go back.
Everyone has regrets, but they don’t define you. I bet no one two hoots other than you ….

I’m a lawyer with a 2:1 law degree from a RG university. Graduated around 30 years ago! Only 5% of my year got firsts. There are people in my year at Uni with 2:1s who are now Kings Counsel! I think you need to get a grip frankly.

Civil and commercial chambers (the Bar) in London, and I’d guess lots of financial sector roles too nowadays.

You have to be a bit sanguine about things like this. Had you applied, you might not have got it or you may have hated it. I am a great believer in everything happens for a reason and some opportunities work out and other don’t but you just have to embrace them as they come. I missed out on a job I really wanted once due to a flip of a coin. It was between me and another person and they loved us both and couldn’t choose so flipped a coin. They told me this directly as they wanted me to know how much the wanted me for the role. That’s life honestly. I got another role and life moved on.

I think degree class only matters for your first job. After then people are looking at your experience.

I do sympathise - I missed out on a first 30 years ago. I and another student were apparently the subject of a 2-hour long departmental debate and a paper I’d only just scraped in my second year was my downfall.

However at that time a First denoted true excellence - only 2 out of a cohort of 150 in our year gained Firsts, and I knew I wasn’t as good as those two, they were stellar.

Honestly, it’s natural to feel regret but this really won’t make much difference to your life. Cream always rises.

I had an awful time at uni. No one's fault in particular. I got a third. I except that people throughout my life could have made different choices and the outcome could have been different. It was not all my fault. I do think about doing another BSc but when would I find the time!

/ mini autobiog incoming

Fifty-ish years ago, I trashed my final term with excessive drug taking, to be horribly honest.
I spent at least two Finals exams mornings spark out at the desk, having been carted in by a concerned/furious housemate.
So, naturally I was sure and certain I’d not only erased all chance of a First, but that I would actually be failed, and deservedly. Very depressing time.
Anyway…
Parents lived in Ireland and I flew over after term ended to stay a couple of weeks before diving back into my futile life in GB.
My father was confident I’d get a First, had always believed I was very gifted academically, poor sap, and I dared not say a word.
As Results day neared, Ireland was plunged into the darkness of a total communications blackout with the outside world, even including Northern Ireland. (It was a GPO strike)
No way to phone or Telex the university, never mind receive any post. I was delighted, as it put off the day of reckoning, but my dad organised an extravagant means of getting my damn results, by getting a business acquaintance in Derry to contact my uni department in England and explain the difficulty etc etc.
Anyway, Dad had to drive up to the border (from t’other end of the country) and meet this good man and receive the Top Secret document, all very John Le Carré!
Then, didn't he organise a celebratory dinner at a fabulous, tiny restaurant on the coast and invite his (admittedly very suave and fascinating) boss plus lady wife. Aaargh.

That morning, I tore the envelope open and saw 2:1, and pretty much ascended to Paradise on the spot.
But my darling dad tried so hard not to show his disappointment, and knowing I’d pierced his heart by being a stupid little waster as a student still haunts me. Very weird atmosphere, with blended elation and disappointment
Bless his boss though, somehow he divined where I was at and managed to buoy up my father and grant me absolution at the same time, and a very jolly evening was had after all.
Dad never expressed any let down, and probably sussed things out fairly sharpish himself anyway. He’d only have been angry that I’d wasted such a fabulous time of my life, and he would have foreseen how much I’d regret that later.
Didn't affect my career, but that’s not everything, is it?
(He died that Summer, shockingly prematurely, so my accursed 2:1 still tastes of ashes and regret in my head)

Don't you beat yourself up, woman! At least you did not chuck your student days
into an ashtray; you got through and in truth, you'd have that First but for cruel circumstance. Stride forwards 🙂

I applied to top law firms in my second year at Oxford using my first year grades - I had gotten a first. Honestly I was a minority and it created issues and people had certain assumptions.

A partner in interview said to me “oh a first from Oxford. Are you going to think you know better than everyone else?”. 🤦🏻‍♀️.

I ended up joining a firm and was told after I joined that there had been an argument about me in the discussion about who they would make offers to. It was remarked I had the best grades. A female partner responded “well she went to [top girls school] so you can wipe that first right off her CV, it doesn’t count.” Another partner then stood up and said “if this is going to be about what schools candidates went to then I want no part in this!”

Most people had a 2:1