AIBU to still regret getting a 2:1 instead of a first?

[onedayillmoveon]

It’s been 10 years since I graduated from university and I still can’t shake off the regret that I got a 2:1 and not a first. I know that a 2:1 is perfectly fine for the vast majority of jobs and nothing to be ashamed of, my more and more people have gotten firsts for the past 20 years or so. When I graduated in 2016, about 33% of humanities graduates from my uni got firsts. I just felt so stupid, incapable, inadequate….. I know people say that grades and numbers can’t define us, but I sort of did let it.

I still can’t shake off this horrible regret that I didn’t get one. I got a high first in my second year and was so pleased, I genuinely loved my subject and had applied myself. In my final year (which largely determines degree class where I went), I became quite depressed and stressed. I could never focus and never really adequately prepared for my exams. I just can’t stop wishing that I had pulled myself together in some way.

Some of you, if you read this far, might think, “well if you have a decent job, nobody gives a damn what degree you got”, and yes, fair. Yet there are certain supposedly ‘elite’ jobs where a first is strongly preferred, and I think not getting one ruined my chances of those.

Anyway, if anyone else has ever felt the same way, or knows someone who does, and wants to share ideas or experiences, maybe that will be helpful.

@Annoyedbyhusband Thank you. I think that law firms, even the most elite ones, are less focused on grades than the bar.

I was on a big 4 graduate scheme about 15 years ago with a 2.1. Firsts were not and have never been since a requirement (I’m now involved in recruitment.) In fact most of the time the interviewers don’t know the grades as long as the minimum is met due to equal access requirements.

Exactly
My dd2 graduated three months ago and doesn’t even talk about her degree classification .
I don’t understand why you are still hung up on this ten years later

I’ve only just qualified as a teacher.

Absolutely not true in Finance. In fact, it's more Artificial Intelligence experience now that counts more than anything!

I find it intriguing that you were passionate about law and finance and yet you gave up both to go into teaching. There are many ways into law and finance and being an exceptional talent means that your ability would be recognised not dismissed on the basis of a 2:1. People aren't stupid - talent is recognised for what it is but what concerns me about your responses is your lack of resourcefulness and as I mentioned earlier resilience.
To be successful in a career you will find blocks and setbacks all the time and you have to be able to use your initiative and grit to get around them - having the tenacity to fight though problems, solve them and get on with what needs to be done is what sets you apart and gets you rise to the top, not having a first.

I think it's unusual to be hung up on one role you couldnt do. Is being a high flying barrister or top finance grad schemes the only thing that interests you?

One of my best friends failed and repeated second year, just scraped a 2:1, worked as a paralegal for a while, and is now a solicitor earning several times as much as me. She may not work for the top city firm, but I don't think anyone would feel bad for her career.

I am on track to get a 2:1 from the Open Uni, a degree an institution which most people will look down on. I will still feel a sense of achievement because I am a mother of three (soon to be four), and it hasn't been an easy road. I'm the first one in my immediate family to study at degree level. None have been to college, never mind higher education! You have a masters and got a first!! That's incredible. I would love to have your qualifications but it wasn't meant for the likes of us when I was young.

It’s time to let it go

I got my degree in the 80s.
It was very rare to get a first. Only one person in our group of around 30 did so. My then bf did, in a different subject, but he has made that subject his life's work. Can't think of anyone else I know who has a first but then most people stop thinking / talking about these things once they settle into their working lives, so I wouldn't necessarily know.

I regretted not getting an A in one of my A Levels (no such thing as A* then) but blamed that on the teacher who I felt hadn't taught us all we needed to know.

I also regretted not passing my driving test till my 3rd attempt, despite knowing I didn't feel properly ready till the 3rd time.

Later I regretted making a mess of certain interviews I went for.

Life can be full of regrets but it's a mindset to keep thinking about them. I remember mine but that's all. You never know the paths that you weren't able to take, so better to focus on what you can do, what you do have and what you can achieve.

Your life MIGHT have taken a different turn with a first but you might also have been very unhappy as a result. Sliding doors and all that.

I got a First from a Russell Group university and it was as much use as a chocolate teapot when graduating into the aftermath of the Great Recession. I wince looking back at how seriously I took study. I wish I had more fun.

I left uni in 2006 with a 2:2, I look back and kick myself because I just didn't work hard enough. I was more than capable of doing better but I prioritised going out with friends and drinking far too much booze! 20 years on and sometimes I feel a guilty pang, wishing that younger-me had been more hard-working, but I realised that this was just one piece of my life. I didn't do anything wrong or bad, it wasn't immoral of me to get a 2:2, instead it was a life-lesson that I needed to work harder if I wanted to see evidence of my potential.

It held me back from the career I originally wanted, but I'm now 18 years into a different career and I love it. Furthermore, the lesson I learned on degree results day has made me more driven to be organised and work harder.

Apologies for the long train of thought, but I wanted to share my own experience and tell you that, while it's ok to be disappointed, remember you did nothing 'bad'. Instead it is just one small part of your development, take the lesson you learned from it and move forwards with acceptance.

Op you don’t need to dwell on it.

I got a 2.1 and got lots of interviews after uni due to my previous work experience. I also know people who got Firsts from top knotch unis who really struggled to get jobs afterwards as they had no work experience.

FWIW I have ended up in completely different industry and don’t use or need my degree.

You don’t even sound like you know what you want to do, you’re vaguely mentioning law, finance and one other role you couldn’t apply for but couldn’t,
plenty of top law firms have a cohort of training contracts available for what they call diverse candidates these are people from other sectors who don’t have the standard academics or grades. I got training contracts available offers via this route as I have no a levels and a 2.1.
finance is still a who you know game for unconventional candidates, I know someone that went in as a secretary and they loved her and she was smart and got in that way and they paid for her training and now is quite high up.
but you just sound like you don’t like you’re current job, but honestly you have to sometimes just get on with making the best of it or take a leap and switch.
I fell into tech in the end and just decided to really go for it and push up the ladder. But corporate politics is probably my best skill and that’s the one thing that will help you, plenty of people are good at their jobs but I manage them, I can’t do their jobs and they can’t do mine.
i did a work contract at one of the elite two universities in their tech department and I had to interview some grads, we didn’t look or care if they had 2.1s and my boss actively dismissed the candidate with a masters from their own university.. they have too much theoretics and an enflated sense of ego was what he said..

I can understand a little, my 2:1 was only 1 mark away from a 1st, and even 32 years later, I am annoyed with myself. However, what I’ve done since has been what’s really shaped my life. Do you really think your life would be different now if you’d got a 1st? Perhaps you’re frustrated with things, but you have the ability to change circumstances, but you need determination and a goal. Have you got those?

In the 70s, my uni doctor was dishing out heavy barbiturates to me for sleep, (t hough a severe talking to was what I needed) and first class amphetamines to a housemate who needed to stay awake to study. (I had them off him in double quick time!)
The doc himself was a rotund, port swilling, fag-smoking bear of a man, who offered you both indulgences at every appointment, and God only knows how he was recruited as the campus physician.

What did you do instead? Surely you moved on pretty quickly in to something you could apply for?

I just can't see how this is still even on your mind 10 years later. If anyone other than a current uni student asked about my degree grade, I'd probably laugh. Life goes on.

No one got firsts when I was at uni in the 90s.

I would say you are probably feeling unfulfilled in your personal life too? And this is generally adding to a general feeling of just not being happy where you are in life as you hit 30

I got a first and I have bombed professionally...as the username suggests!!

I felt a similar way ten years after graduation (high 2.1 in 2nd year, rather unfocused in 3rd year and rather than going in an upward trajectory got a very middle of the road 2.1) so I have some sympathies.

Twenty years on however, having accepted what I'm doing as a career (spent my twenties umming and ahhing and regretting to some extent), I've realised that the people who are really good in my profession commit to the job, they are interested in what they are doing, care about the clients, and are prepared to do the stuff that they don't like / work on their weaknesses. And they are resilient. Do I feel that I should be doing better than them because I went to a university with a better reputation than theirs? No - that would be ridiculous. Their work speaks for itself. It is such a big part of life when you are young, however it is only a few years and over time I think it is easier to put things in perspective.

I got a 2.2 from Oxbridge 30 years ago and I guess still feel a bit gutted about it. But I got on a very prestigious grad scheme (one of the few that allow 2.2s) and it never held me back, other than knocking my confidence. Most seemed to have first or 2.1s but once we were in we were equal. I had to get a year or two experience first, but always took the view where there is a will there is a way.

Is there really anything you can’t do with a 2.1? Do you actually want these elite careers you mention? If so I’m sure you could. A 2.2 is widely considered not good, so that has been hard. A 2.1 is absolutely fine. You need to move on OP!

I understand where you’re coming from op. I did a music degree as a mature student c15 years ago and got a 2.1 when I’d been aiming (and on course) for a first. It took me ages to get over it! I went back (to a different uni) 3 years later and did a Master’s where I got a distinction. So that softened it a bit. So yes I get it…

I went to Cambridge

I got into an elite law firm with ABC a levels and a 2.1. My face fitted and I had been trained in a niche area of law that suddenly boomed. Life takes you in funny directions!