To think less of those who slept with a lot of people

[AIBUISJUSTASBADASAITA]

I don’t actually care how many people someone slept with, but if they choose to tell me, I think less of them

This could be at least partially caused by someone once telling me slept with someone from each continent and he is would now like to hit his next target of sleeping with someone pregnant

That’s to say that, if I really think about it, I don’t feel most upstanding members of society engage in sleeping with hundreds of people and counting, for various reasons

That’s because for most regular people, once you’ve encountered the time and effort it takes to, for example, build and progress a career / raise a family / build a business / travel / excel at a hobby / maintain friendships and family relationships / find lasting connections and fall in love / get a degree etc etc, there’s not that much time left to sleep with an insane number of people

I also get squeamish about diseases thinking of the sort of sex lives those who manage to sleep with hundreds lead

Finally, I’ve met a few women who clearly thought the number of people they slept with validated them in some way and felt it was worth mentioning. It was volunteered in a way as if to say “I am so attractive / cool / outgoing / sexual” that I’ve slept with such a high number of people. Yeah, not the brag you think it is…

AIBU, if you’re being completely honest?

😂

You are judging the judgemental people. And so you become one of us.

The circle of infinity

You clearly missed the point of that conversation 🙄

Humour sadly lost on you then is it?

That’s because for most regular people, once you’ve encountered the time and effort it takes to, for example, build and progress a career / raise a family / build a business / travel / excel at a hobby / maintain friendships and family relationships / find lasting connections and fall in love / get a degree etc etc, there’s not that much time left to sleep with an insane number of people

It really doesn't take all that long to sleep with someone. And not all people are raising a family. But building a carer, maintaining friendships, travelling and excelling at hobbies still leaves plenty of time in an average year for sex. What material difference does it make if one person sleeps with the same person once a month or with 12 different people over the course of a year, averaging 240 people over a 20 year period?

Did I completely miss the point? Someone who has had sex with someone from every continent is only 7 people (plus the others). Agree the ick would be that they set themselves a challenge but the actual number of 7 isn’t many.

youre not funny?

You're brave OP.

I read a post on here yesterday about a woman who had met what she thought was a lovely man. They got into discussions about how many they had slept with and she had been in the swinging scene in the past with a previous partner but isn’t in to it any more. I don’t know if they slept together before or after this conversation but they did have sex and then he said she wasn’t relationship material. That was very judgemental and it shouldn’t actually matter.
I don’t have a huge body count because I’ve had 2 LTR since I was 16 - 9 years then almost 20, and now in a 5 year relationship. If I hadn’t met people that I liked I think there would have been many more.

There can’t be that many people who you know who have an extreme number though and are openly talking about it, surely? I’m assuming you’re not asking them. If you are you’re really a bit rude!

I don't think there is any one answer to this.

I am more likely to judge someone on the basis of one or two choices not the number. Any man who took part in Bonnie Blue's sexual events, any woman who willingly had a relationship with Russell Brand, for example.

People have sex without being in a relationship.

How do people find the time to spend hours in hairdressers, beauticians, nail salons or getting a fake bake - all things women do to feel validated and attractive - @AIBUISJUSTASBADASAITA ? Someone could just have sex with a different person every six weeks and it would be far less time consuming. Probably more fun too.

I honestly don't understand how the number of people I or anyone else have or haven't slept with has any bearing on a person's worth, character or integrity - unless they're cheating/ sleeping with someone in a relationship?

This exactly. I can't really see why anyone would care if it didn't affect them

Yes! A man who has been with a prostitute or a woman who has cheated are much more of a concern to me than the number.

Issues with critical thinking AND reading it seems.

A man I know publicly claimed to have slept with 100s of women, and it's what I think of whenever I see or hear of him. I think I've judged him and just can't take him seriously....all of think of is what he said. He did nothing illegal, but if he would have kept his mouth shut, his private life would have remained completely private.

I also want to add to this thread that I have absolutely no idea how many people my friends, family and acquaintances have slept with. It's inconceivable that it would even come up, because nobody cares and we're not nosy perverts. How/ why is OP even having all these prurient conversations in the first place?!

Numbers matter not at all to me but the feeling it is something to brag about would bother me more. How would people who have slept with loads of people even know? Obviously you'd know it was quite a few but knowing it is 107 or whatever would be quite odd and suggest someone who sees it as something to brag about and that they just want to 'win' you and then move on. Though OP don't agree with your point on who has the time and it suggests not following healthy pursuits - if you were a uni student on a 3 year course say you could sleep with a different person every other week and end up on over 100 people just during that 3year period, say on a night out every other Saturday. You could easily be training to be a brain scientist in the meantime.

Finally, I’ve met a few women who clearly thought the number of people they slept with validated them in some way and felt it was worth mentioning. It was volunteered in a way as if to say “I am so attractive / cool / outgoing / sexual” that I’ve slept with such a high number of people. Yeah, not the brag you think it is…

If a woman wants to sleep around purely for pleasure, it’s not my personal taste and standards but I don’t give it too much thought.

However if she volunteers that information and delivers it in the way you suggesting (bragging, implying she is attractive and cool) then she is outright foolish. Men are highly driven biologically to have sex and will sleep with anything (even someone of below average looks) if it’s offered on a plate. It is not a reflection of your attractiveness or charming persona.
I’ve met women like this and the delusions continue until they hit a certain age and then they to do some soul searching. They’ll learn themselves in time.

What has being a raver got to do with it? Genuinely confused.

RB is a disgrace