To think less of those who slept with a lot of people

[AIBUISJUSTASBADASAITA]

I don’t actually care how many people someone slept with, but if they choose to tell me, I think less of them

This could be at least partially caused by someone once telling me slept with someone from each continent and he is would now like to hit his next target of sleeping with someone pregnant

That’s to say that, if I really think about it, I don’t feel most upstanding members of society engage in sleeping with hundreds of people and counting, for various reasons

That’s because for most regular people, once you’ve encountered the time and effort it takes to, for example, build and progress a career / raise a family / build a business / travel / excel at a hobby / maintain friendships and family relationships / find lasting connections and fall in love / get a degree etc etc, there’s not that much time left to sleep with an insane number of people

I also get squeamish about diseases thinking of the sort of sex lives those who manage to sleep with hundreds lead

Finally, I’ve met a few women who clearly thought the number of people they slept with validated them in some way and felt it was worth mentioning. It was volunteered in a way as if to say “I am so attractive / cool / outgoing / sexual” that I’ve slept with such a high number of people. Yeah, not the brag you think it is…

AIBU, if you’re being completely honest?

I think it depends on the number, because high to one person could be 20 people, which I think is probably about average. One person told me that her boyfriend broke up with her and then she slept with 100 people in about 9 months to take her mind off it. If she genuinely enjoyed it then fair enough, but it just didn’t sound very healthy.

I think I would judge a prospective partner if it was very high because I’m looking for a relationship so if it sounded like they slept with random people and then fucked off I probably wouldn’t consider him to be boyfriend material

That’s because for most regular people, once you’ve encountered the time and effort it takes to, for example, build and progress a career / raise a family / build a business / travel / excel at a hobby / maintain friendships and family relationships / find lasting connections and fall in love / get a degree etc etc, there’s not that much time left to sleep with an insane number of people

Maybe you just need to be better at time management?!

My experience has taught me there's bad sex, God sex and amazing sex and you have no idea which it'll be before you do it! And sex is also very personal, I could think someone amazing in bed and you could think they're mediocre. And some people need an emotional connection to have great sex, for others it's purely physical.

I'm very glad I'm not still with the person I lost my virginity to though!

This is a bigoted view of what I wrote - thinking less of someone is not the same as being intolerant of them

Your arrogant and patronising attitude meaning nobody fancies you or wants to have sex with you is showing here — it’s ok to wish you could have persuaded more people to tolerate you for long enough to have sex with you, it’s not OK to judge others for things that they choose to do with their own bodies, in their own time when they’re single!

I don’t mean literally every six months on the dot, more like a one year relationship followed by a few dates with someone and then get ghosted etc. I think it’s normal to date like that in your twenties and doesn’t necessarily make you that promiscuous as we might think of it eg clubbing one night stands, more just a little unlucky in love.

Also tbf I’ve met enough men to understand why someone might be switching them out every six months 🤣

Wow OP, are you this aggy in real life?

YABU for using phrases like “work smart” and “making memories”… and for having narrow minded opinions about sex, and for jumping down the throat of everyone who disagrees with you.

No wonder you’ve not had much sex, I can’t imagine you’re much fun at parties ;)

I love this response, and think it rings true

Bloody hell 😂

The people I know who have slept with lots of people have all been not that attractive tbh. The gorgeous people I know got snapped up by other gorgeous people in their 20s!

For many reasons I’d imagine. Maybe you’re hoping for more than being put down as a number

This wasn’t a post about external beauty but about tolerable personalities. If OP is this judgmental and patronising and enjoys baiting people as much as this thread describes, I doubt many want to get close!

Why does it matter to you?

ive shagged plenty. I settled early and got divorced and wanted to have fun. It was all consensual. What has that to do with anyone else?

i always practiced safe sex and had regular STI tests just in case.

I don’t know what makes you think I have a “strong” reaction to this sort of information. Not at all, in fact.

I’d judge someone collecting conquests like football cards.

This. That’s gross as it seems exploitative. But otherwise it’s nothing to do with me.

I think there is a disgust response that can’t always be helped. I’m pretty liberal but when I hear about some of the stunts that Bonnie Blue has done it makes me feel grossed out. Mostly people keep these things to themselves so if they are going out of their way to tell you maybe your response is more to the bragging the the number.

Have you really met that many people who have not only slept with 100s of people but also tell people about it? Because I don’t think that’s very common. How strange. You must keep very odd company which possibly says something about you.

I don't care how many people someone has had sex with, but I'd find it bizarre if they felt the need to tell me. I'd not think less of them. It would simply be a case of us having different ideas of privacy and appropriate topics of conversation.

Nah, bit weird. I would start to feel uneasy if someone asked.

You judge people for buying their babies designer clothes? Why don’t you direct this energy into real issues like the Epstein files, the Ukraine war or Gaza?!

Woah that was nasty. A. I didn’t disclose my number b. I didn’t say I was good in bed and c. My god I hit a nerve with you there didn’t I? 😂😂😂

I'm not jealous of any of those things either

Yes, absolutely. Telling off judgmental little bores is always enjoyable to me 😇

I don’t actually care how judgemental people are, but if they choose to tell me, I think less of them.

I definitely judged a girl at uni. She was very proud of bringing back a new man each week. By the age of 20 her number was over 100. I think the judgement was more I believed she was very insecure and did it to try and make herself cool or something. More look at me.

If someone had a few one night stands and relationships more in a normal range i don’t think I would bat an eye lid. Providing people practice safe sex it’s not an issue.