To think less of those who slept with a lot of people

[AIBUISJUSTASBADASAITA]

I don’t actually care how many people someone slept with, but if they choose to tell me, I think less of them

This could be at least partially caused by someone once telling me slept with someone from each continent and he is would now like to hit his next target of sleeping with someone pregnant

That’s to say that, if I really think about it, I don’t feel most upstanding members of society engage in sleeping with hundreds of people and counting, for various reasons

That’s because for most regular people, once you’ve encountered the time and effort it takes to, for example, build and progress a career / raise a family / build a business / travel / excel at a hobby / maintain friendships and family relationships / find lasting connections and fall in love / get a degree etc etc, there’s not that much time left to sleep with an insane number of people

I also get squeamish about diseases thinking of the sort of sex lives those who manage to sleep with hundreds lead

Finally, I’ve met a few women who clearly thought the number of people they slept with validated them in some way and felt it was worth mentioning. It was volunteered in a way as if to say “I am so attractive / cool / outgoing / sexual” that I’ve slept with such a high number of people. Yeah, not the brag you think it is…

AIBU, if you’re being completely honest?

Yeah I think it's probably something to keep to yourself. It's easy to feel squeamish when you know

I keep out of their sexual business tbh and don’t care. It doesn’t affect me .

I honestly don't care. I wouldn't judge

The number of people someone has had sex with has absolutely no bearing on who they are as a person.

Oh, grow up.

I dont care at all how many people someone else has slept with. I dont judge them because I dont care.
You have to care about something in order to judge people for it.
Nobody judges anyone for something that they genuinely dont give a shit about.

I don't personally care what other people do in their consenting sex lives but I do judge people who go around telling everyone about it. Sex is a private matter, everyone does it and it's not that complicated, difficult or interesting (unless you are one of the participants.)

I don't think I've ever given it much head space, it's not something that is dropped into day-to-day conversations so I have no idea how many people friends and colleagues have slept with.

I don’t understand why you would care or judge

you make it sound like you have a little level in your head of “good” and “bad” people and categorise them according to the different information you learn about them, with them going up or down the levels of your approval depending on what you learn.

whats the point? What difference does it make if you “think” less of someone?

Why is having sex a bad thing? If someone enjoys sex then why is it something to be judged……and why do you then feel superior?

I don't care how many people anyone has slept with and I don't think sleeping with lots of people says anything about your self esteem. I also don't care who you're judgmental of or why, what a tedious little subject.

I guess if man I worked with told me he'd slept with 200 women then I probably would judge. But then my opinion of men isn't that high to start with.

Yeah you sound very judgemental. I’d rather be friends with someone who’s slept with all load of people (which has zero impact on me) than someone like you.

I'm a bit hypocritical because I also have a similar response but I was a bit of a raver back in the day. It's not so much a moral.judgement,.more that I think they're going to look back one day and wonder what they achieved from it, but yes it's double standards for me to think that way. .

I like to think people today take fewer risks, as in they use contraception and women don't allow themselves to go to unknown locations with complete strangers although no idea why I'm assuming thats true. May not be.

YABU and sound like you're give this far too much thought. Why do you care what other people do?

I mean, the guy aiming to sleep with a woman on every continent was obviously an arsehole - not for sleeping with multiple women, but because they were just a notch on his belt, so to speak, rather than because he cared for them or enjoyed their company. But enjoying sex is not a bad thing. I think it's pretty sad to think sex is so separate from life that you see it as completely unrelated to building a life/having a family etc. (That's before we even get onto the fact that not everyone wants a family.)

Are you a man?

Your comment
Finally, I’ve met a few women who clearly thought the number of people they slept with validated them in some way and felt it was worth mentioning. It was volunteered in a way as if to say “I am so attractive / cool / outgoing / sexual” that I’ve slept with such a high number of people. Yeah, not the brag you think it is… gives the vibe of a man who hasnt had much sexual experience, in which case, yabu and judgemental.

what do you mean ‘what did they achieve from it’? Presumably they enjoyed it? What else do you need to achieve from not doing it? Why do you care what they did or didn’t get out of it?

If you want to take the moral high ground over something that's got nothing to do you knock yourself out. You've no idea what goes on in people's lives and why they do things.

give us all a break and get a hobby

Somebody telling you that they had “targets” of what sort of person they were planning to have sex with next would be a creep whether they’d had sex with five people or five hundred. Beyond that, I’m not really that invested in what adults choose to do with their bits and who with for fun and pleasure.

Oddly all of these posts feel that they wouldn’t judge, but a post from yesterday where the op had been dumped for having admitted to a large number of partners to her new boyfriend felt very judgmental. So, it’s strange that many won’t judge in a general sense, but would definitely judge an individual.

Each to their own. I think less of people who think less of people based on how many people they have slept with.

But everybody is entitled to their opinion.

And not everybody meets somebody to have a committed partnership with. But they still want to have sex. 🤷🏽‍♀️

And not all those things are mutually exclusive. Having a hobby or travelling doesn’t stop you having sex. In fact you can combine some of those things!

Unlikely to see someone I would have much in common with but it wouldn't be any of my business though I would prefer not to know.

It’s obviously a bit different when it’s your sexual partner, because it’s actually relevant.

Why do they have to have achieved something from it?