To think less of those who slept with a lot of people

[AIBUISJUSTASBADASAITA]

I don’t actually care how many people someone slept with, but if they choose to tell me, I think less of them

This could be at least partially caused by someone once telling me slept with someone from each continent and he is would now like to hit his next target of sleeping with someone pregnant

That’s to say that, if I really think about it, I don’t feel most upstanding members of society engage in sleeping with hundreds of people and counting, for various reasons

That’s because for most regular people, once you’ve encountered the time and effort it takes to, for example, build and progress a career / raise a family / build a business / travel / excel at a hobby / maintain friendships and family relationships / find lasting connections and fall in love / get a degree etc etc, there’s not that much time left to sleep with an insane number of people

I also get squeamish about diseases thinking of the sort of sex lives those who manage to sleep with hundreds lead

Finally, I’ve met a few women who clearly thought the number of people they slept with validated them in some way and felt it was worth mentioning. It was volunteered in a way as if to say “I am so attractive / cool / outgoing / sexual” that I’ve slept with such a high number of people. Yeah, not the brag you think it is…

AIBU, if you’re being completely honest?

I don’t think your logic makes sense. Some people spend a lot of time finding sexual partners and engaging with them because they like sex. Other people like running instead (for example) and find the time to train daily, attend competitions and so on.

I do however agree that boasting about sleeping with many people is immature.

That's fine, but then why are you so incensed about people having an opinion on people who have slept with a lot of people?

It's a free country, and people can both sleep with whoever they like, and judge whoever they like.

Op asked for honest opinions. This is what I am secretly thinking, even though I probably would never say it!

It’s easy to assume it’s worse these days due to dating apps but I personally think it’s always been the same and people could be reckless at any point. I just don’t think this information needs to be volunteered, particularly when it’s some gross “count” being tallied

What makes you think I’m incensed? I’m not the one starting a judgmental thread 😂
I am laughing at how op is being slaughtered for it though

As someone who has had sex with two people, you really don’t need to worry about us!

You have misunderstood what I wrote

Tell you what though, if I had my time over again I’d shag rings round me. Sex is one of life’s great joys and pleasures. If you have hang ups about it that a you problem, OP.

I’m not worried about you. Please don’t infer things I never said. I simply said I wonder if people who are inexperienced and judge those who are wxperienced are just secretly a bit jealous because they don’t know any different?

Probably triple digits? But then it’s not even the number that’s yuck, it’s the counting and the sharing of it.

I’ve think we have all misunderstood then- as your subsequent posts still don’t really make sense??

What is it that you are actually asking?

I dont really care about other people's lives like that. I do raise an eyebrow at Bonny Blue and Lilly Collins though because its so excessive.

I'm not impressed when someone's slept with a lot of people, personally. I find it gross. I'd rather not know about anyone else's sexual history unless we're in a relationship, and even then there are limits to how much I want or need to hear.

I wouldn't think less of anyone for sleeping with lots of other people, I only might if they were arseholes about it, like if a bloke was being really boastful about how often he got laid.

Well I can only speak for myself (more than 10, less than 20) but absolutely my opinion is not based on jealousy. In the same way me judging someone for dressing their 6 month old in designer clothes and buying them an iphone is not based on jealousy

You asked if you were being unreasonable. People think you are. Why are you struggling with this? You seem quite limited in critical thinking yourself…

Why is it grim to say having good casual sex is making memories?

Agree. Same for people who won’t shut up about being gay/bisexual/polygamous or whatever. Just leave sex in the bedroom back home😄

Couldnt care less really

Why do you have a number? Do you also have a list of names for when it’s time to shop for Christmas cards?

actually the opinions are pretty divided😉 And yes indeed, I asked whether I was being unreasonable and your monologue about not wanting to be my friend comes into it how exactly?

Quality over quantity. Just because you’ve shagged lots of people doesn’t mean you’re any good at it

Lots of sexual partners? who cares.

Sexual targets? Sleazy

I don't have an opinion on the number of people other people have slept with, I do have an opinion on how they treat those people, which to me, is by far the more important element in deciding and judging their character.

Yes, I think less of people who sleep around a lot. That's hardly an unusual or controversial view. I wouldn't cut out a friend or colleague if they told me but I would lose some respect for them. If it was something I knew before I became close to a person it would put me off pursuing a friendship or relationship, that's not to say they couldn't win me over because they could, but as a first impression it would make me hesitant.

I judge people who think this matters tbh. As long as all sexual relationships are consensual and honest (ie not cheating) then I think people should do what makes them happy.