To think less of those who slept with a lot of people

[AIBUISJUSTASBADASAITA]

I don’t actually care how many people someone slept with, but if they choose to tell me, I think less of them

This could be at least partially caused by someone once telling me slept with someone from each continent and he is would now like to hit his next target of sleeping with someone pregnant

That’s to say that, if I really think about it, I don’t feel most upstanding members of society engage in sleeping with hundreds of people and counting, for various reasons

That’s because for most regular people, once you’ve encountered the time and effort it takes to, for example, build and progress a career / raise a family / build a business / travel / excel at a hobby / maintain friendships and family relationships / find lasting connections and fall in love / get a degree etc etc, there’s not that much time left to sleep with an insane number of people

I also get squeamish about diseases thinking of the sort of sex lives those who manage to sleep with hundreds lead

Finally, I’ve met a few women who clearly thought the number of people they slept with validated them in some way and felt it was worth mentioning. It was volunteered in a way as if to say “I am so attractive / cool / outgoing / sexual” that I’ve slept with such a high number of people. Yeah, not the brag you think it is…

AIBU, if you’re being completely honest?

So not a fan of Bonnie Blue then? 😂

I wouldn't say I cared. I just think they have wasted their time. Hard to explain. I just feel it's not been worth the guy or the girl's time. I don't actually think it's wrong, morally. Nobody should care either way. I mean having a good time and making memories isn't wrong but I doubt people who sleep with vast numbers of people are actually doing that..

What is ‘a lot’?

‘Making memories’ - grim. But sex is generally pretty enjoyable so I don’t understand why you think they won’t have enjoyed it. Don’t we all waste our time? Going on nights out, dates, visiting coffee shops? You have a weird way of looking at it.

I judge anyone who thinks it’s worthy of conversation. I have no interest in how many people anyone has slept with.

I know we're all animals and I don't really think any less of them..Hard to explain

Unless you are a traditional wife/very religious, what does someone's sex count have to do with their personality and things you might have in common?

I have slept with a lot of people because...shock horror, I enjoy sex and sometimes feel like it when I'm not in a relationship.
Have I told my partners the number? Yes, if asked. And unlike some on this thread, not one of them has been judgmental about it.
If they were, they'd be gone.

I did most of my shagging before most of this stuff “to, for example, build and progress a career / raise a family / build a business / travel / excel at a hobby / maintain friendships and family relationships / find lasting connections and fall in love / get a degree etc etc,”

Obviously some of it did overlap like shagging and getting a degree and even shagging and falling in love. It’s also quite simple to have sex and maintain friendships unless you’re either sleeping with all your friends or sleeping with their partners.

Glad they’ve had a lot of fun :)

@ToKittyornottoKitty I'm sure everyone has a different view on it. I've just tried to give mine

I’d rather not know what people get up to in their bedrooms - I don’t really mind for the most part as long as everyone is consenting, but I’d prefer to talk about something else.

I don’t know dh’s “number”, and my sexual exploits aren’t up for discussion either. Maybe it’s a generation thing, like how my gm would have been shocked and offended to be asked her age? But I cannot really imagine how these conversations go.

You are entitled to do whatever you like with your own body but judging others based on their choices around consensual sex is a form of bigotry.

Are they the same people on both threads giving conflicting opinions?
If not then it means nothing more than different people having different views and doesnt prove or suggest anything.

I’m not interested & I don’t care how many people others have slept with. Firstly, it’s none of my business. Secondly, who am I to judge?

I only have the time of day for slappers. If your headcount is under 250, get back to the nunnery you absolute booooore.

It only matters if the person is a potential partner for yourself. Sharing similar values about intimacy is one of the many metrics of a potential match. It’s ok to pass on someone as a romantic partner who just doesn’t approach the world in a way that works for you.

It’s easier to be friends with people with a variety of approaches to life. If this really matters to you that is fine, but it doesn’t matter to most people.

I might care if it's someone I am about to sleep with as I don't want to sleep with the guy who tries to sleep with everyone he meets, and also from a sexual health perspective, but not if it's just some random person.

Unless you’re planning to shag them, why do you care?

The late great Tony Slattery once deflected a question about his sexuality with the reply "I don't ask you what you do with your genitalia, and I'm not going to tell you what I do with mine."

Probably as well to stuck to that if you don't want to be judged by self-righteous arseholes.

Personally, as long as all the encounters were consensual and enjoyable for both parties, I don't give a damn.

..and even if you are, why do you?

Men don't give a shit about bragging so why should women?

I wouldn’t personally but I know some people care about that sort of thing.

Was thinking the same.

You say you don't judge but if that was genuinely true you would feel neutral about such disclosures. The fact it produces such a strong reaction in you shows you do care.

Speaking as someone who has probably slept with more people than you'd like and is therefore in no position to judge, I have no real reaction to someone's number, except to perhaps be interested to understand their journey through life a bit better.

At least own it!

You’d hate me then, I’m a total slapper.