WTF! Mums friend called to lecture me and tell me off!? PART 2

[Meganandbaby]

Ok so this very bizarre.

so I made a post on here about how my mums friend (not even close friend, someone she has coffee with couple times a year) called and angrily told me off and shamed me about a private family decision. And began telling me what to do.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/amibeingunreasonable/5563138-mums-friend-called-me-to-lecture-me-shame-me-and-tell-me-off-and-telling-me-what-to-do

(it was about deciding to use some of our savings for private nhs treatment as waiting list was too long. Another was about my sister buying a home and us using some of our big savings for deposit gift, she said that’s idiotic because we can get a council home instead, (why she thinks she would even be eligible for council home I have no idea)

i ended up blocking her.

I now find out she called my brother and began interfering in another family situation. This is even more bizarre!

So my brother became disabled.

she angrily demanded he make my mum his carer so she can retire 2 years earlier and doesn’t have to work and can stay home?

And to apply for council house so my mom can go live with him in this council home and doesn’t have to privately rent??

using same very angry language lecturing him like a child such as “have you no shame” your poor overworked mother suffering because of you” “you are being a burden to your mom” “you like living like this don’t you” “don’t get offended” “no offence”

”you know sometimes healthy people live shorter lives than sick people” “your mom is going to end up dying because you refuse to help her!!!!!”

my brother shocked and startled, (she was very, very angry with angry face pointing finger at him) blurted out he can’t as he has very large savings and he works to get her to leave him alone, to which she replied, I TOLD YOU ALREADY GET RID OF THEM! Quit your job!! TO SAVE YOUR MOTHER!

Now, other than being shocked I’m also extremely weirded out and confused. Because this makes no sense!

why does this woman think my brother qualifies for a council house for simply being disabled? you need to have a need

for carers You must care for the individual for a minimum of 35 hours weekly which she doesn’t do? Not even close to that amount. And even if she did my mom never told him she wants this?

i spoke to my mum and she said other than complaining that she is very tired from working, and that she has been struggling with some health issues and has a 2 years to go till state pension she never said anything else to to this woman.

This woman she said few times advised since her son is disabled, he should apply for disability (she never told her if he gets it or not ) so he “can make mum his carer” so my mum can retire early?

and if he is disabled he can apply for council house so my mum can come live with him and doesn’t have to pay expensive private rent?

My mum told her they have no plans to do this and it’s not how it works at all but she wouldn’t listen and keep suggesting this.

i guess she decided to take matters into her own hands?

If you know the name of the church she goes to, maybe contact the vicar or pastor or whatever and just let them know that one of their parishioners might need a little extra support!

I would be concerned your mum is really struggling and is voicing it to her friend. Mum may have downplayed it because it’s backfired. Friend has said to much. Obviously she is interfering and overstepping and needs blocking by everyone.

that sounds like mental illness. That is mortifying and also unhinged. Your poor mum

You're focusing too much on the "why" she is doing this. That's irrelevant and you have no need to understand her. You just need to stop it.

Repeatedly ageist and shoehorning in a misogynistic slur in one post. Wow. 😵‍💫

I would say that post is a massive indicator, as to the other side to this story.

It's bizarre your mum is staying friends with someone who is so interfering and who keeps berating her family about nonsense.

But how on earth would we know why this batshit woman is acting like this if you dont either and you actually know her?! we arent her psychiatrist.

Also, earlier you said you were scared of what she'd do because she physically threatened her son's flat mate and now you are saying she is elderly and disabled, so which is it? is she a threat to your family or not?- thats why we were all suggesting the police.

If she cant physically hurt any of you then fine, dont call the police, - tell her to FUCK OFF instead. Again, why havent you done that?

Why arent you telling this women to never speak to any your family ever again?

She's clearly batshit OP. Hopefully being blocked and ignored will have her run out of steam.

1. you said you were scared of what she'd do because she physically threatened her son's flat mate and now you are saying she is elderly and disabled, which is it?

elderly and disabled doesn’t stop someone being a threat if they are mentally ill or have dementia and become aggressive. There’s been many news stories of older/sick people burning down homes, stabbing someone etc

i do worry she could be a threat but police won’t care because she’s old

why aren’t you telling her to fuck off? how do we know I didn’t? We did. She is still bothering us

But how on earth would we know why this batshit woman is acting like this

I’ve seen people suggest which mental illness on here before based on described actions in op and if it could just be harmless or danger to others. Someone was helpful on here and suggested this woman might have dementia on here which I haven’t considered

So what do you intend to do about it?

No this demonstrates this phone used a different phone to call my brother forcing us to block this new phone number

which I explained in earlier post

stop trolling

Also, I dont agree that the police wont do anything about it- you've said she could stab someone or burn someone's house down.

Why not at least talk to them and get some advice? tell them she's older but she's being aggressive and harassing - they might be able to suggest ways to help or de-escalate the situation. If its that upsetting I dont know why you wouldnt want as much help as you can get 🤷‍♀️

I don’t know.
that’s why I came here asking

im dealing with this possible mental unstable woman who I don’t think police will care about

but Someone suggested contacting her son about possible dementia which I think I’ll do

if he is sane and not like her maybe he’ll be able to help

Contact the son and contact the police for advice.

Just ignore. Same on another thread. Bizarre.

You and your brother need to take stock of how tired your own mother is.
She is off loading a whole lot of personal woes to her friend.

Her friend is acting to reduce your weary mother's burden.

Ask you mother to not speak about you and your brother. Stop sharing any financial details of yours with your mother.

Seek professional advice with your mother on how she can reduce any care and financial burdens.

Suggest your DM gets a thorough health check up. She is more worn out than she lets on. She needs to rule out serious heart conditions, cancer etc.

Be polite but do not involve friend. Block if need be. By