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WTF! Mums friend called to lecture me and tell me off!? PART 2

171 replies

Meganandbaby · 05/09/2026 15:18

Ok so this very bizarre.

so I made a post on here about how my mums friend (not even close friend, someone she has coffee with couple times a year) called and angrily told me off and shamed me about a private family decision. And began telling me what to do.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/amibeingunreasonable/5563138-mums-friend-called-me-to-lecture-me-shame-me-and-tell-me-off-and-telling-me-what-to-do

(it was about deciding to use some of our savings for private nhs treatment as waiting list was too long. Another was about my sister buying a home and us using some of our big savings for deposit gift, she said that’s idiotic because we can get a council home instead, (why she thinks she would even be eligible for council home I have no idea)

i ended up blocking her.

I now find out she called my brother and began interfering in another family situation. This is even more bizarre!

So my brother became disabled.

she angrily demanded he make my mum his carer so she can retire 2 years earlier and doesn’t have to work and can stay home?

And to apply for council house so my mom can go live with him in this council home and doesn’t have to privately rent??

using same very angry language lecturing him like a child such as “have you no shame” your poor overworked mother suffering because of you” “you are being a burden to your mom” “you like living like this don’t you” “don’t get offended” “no offence”

”you know sometimes healthy people live shorter lives than sick people” “your mom is going to end up dying because you refuse to help her!!!!!”

my brother shocked and startled, (she was very, very angry with angry face pointing finger at him) blurted out he can’t as he has very large savings and he works to get her to leave him alone, to which she replied, I TOLD YOU ALREADY GET RID OF THEM! Quit your job!! TO SAVE YOUR MOTHER!

Now, other than being shocked I’m also extremely weirded out and confused. Because this makes no sense!

why does this woman think my brother qualifies for a council house for simply being disabled? you need to have a need

for carers You must care for the individual for a minimum of 35 hours weekly which she doesn’t do? Not even close to that amount. And even if she did my mom never told him she wants this?

i spoke to my mum and she said other than complaining that she is very tired from working, and that she has been struggling with some health issues and has a 2 years to go till state pension she never said anything else to to this woman.

This woman she said few times advised since her son is disabled, he should apply for disability (she never told her if he gets it or not ) so he “can make mum his carer” so my mum can retire early?

and if he is disabled he can apply for council house so my mum can come live with him and doesn’t have to pay expensive private rent?

My mum told her they have no plans to do this and it’s not how it works at all but she wouldn’t listen and keep suggesting this.

i guess she decided to take matters into her own hands?

OP posts:
Catza · 05/09/2026 16:18

Meganandbaby · 05/09/2026 15:36

last time when my mum tried to tell her there needs to be a need to get a council home such as being evicted she replied

”OMG LETS HOPE YOU GET EVICTED, PLEASE BE EVICTED, PLEASE BE EVICTED!”

WHAT. THE HELL.

Edited

Sorry bit why are you all trying to reason with her? Completely unnecessary. A simple "I am not discussing this with you" is all this woman ever needed to hear. And if that doesn't work, then "don't ever contact me again" is the next step.
She is either extremely unwell or...nope, I don't have another explanation. Maybe a call to her family to speak about their mother's behaviour is in order.

QueenietheGreat · 05/09/2026 16:24

@Meganandbaby
I think that sometimes those who aren't 'totally aware/in the room' lose their sense of what's normal and acceptable alongside boundaries
She may have mental health issues
Or
Be a very bossy nosey parker
But she's nothing to any of youse and a casual acquaintance to your mum (are you sure about that? Could mum be embarrassed by her herself as she got to know/tell her more than intended )
So give her warning that the next time she harrasses, interferes/causes consternation)
You'll be reporting her to the police
Pure and simple

MorrisseysMisery · 05/09/2026 16:29

"Marjorie, this is our private family business, of which you have no say in, legally or morally.
Please refrain in future to attempt to discuss these private matters or i will be forced to consult a solicitor to arrange a way to keep you from contacting me. The results of which would be embarrassing for you, to say the least.
I do not wish to discuss confidential financial issues with you.
Many thanks."

Something like that, but shorter and more relevant to details of the situation.

ooeygooeychewy · 05/09/2026 16:32

Everyone needs to block this woman, including your mother. I'd be so embarrassed if my so-called friend was lecturing my family about what they should do. This woman is nuts, to put it plainly. The less any of you have to do with her, the better. She lacks any concept of boundaries, and I'd worry she's unstable enough to escalate beyond the finger-wagging stage.

joyava · 05/09/2026 16:33

Is your mum’s friend Miriam Margolyes by any chance? She sounds totally unhinged.

As others have said, if you have phone numbers for her family, contact them with your concerns about her possible mental breakdown.
In any event you, your brother & any other family member she may start harassing need to block her number immediately.

Steeleydan · 05/09/2026 16:39

Has this idiotic woman got a son/daughter/husband you could contact to tell her to back off with her ridiculous outbursts. Has she got history of mental health problems, she sounds rather unstable.
Plus I'd be having a word eith your mother to stop discussing family business with her of any kind

ByRedBee · 05/09/2026 16:40

The way you write is very strange

diddl · 05/09/2026 16:43

Who is telling her all your family goings on & why?

whippersnapper55 · 05/09/2026 16:44

Is any of this true? 🤔

PinkPhonyClub · 05/09/2026 16:45

Why on earth does your mother have any contact with this woman, let alone telling her private family information? She needs to step away from her.

Citronella321 · 05/09/2026 16:49

Your mother isn't being straight with you

REP22 · 05/09/2026 16:52

This lady is obviously very mentally unwell. I remember your original thread.

If I were the generous sort and I knew where she lived, I might be minded to contact the local adult services department and request a welfare check, because something is seriously awry.

@Meganandbaby do you think this lady might actually take any actions that cause issues for you or other family members? I ask because an elderly friend of one of my relatives went as far as applying for two jobs in my name, pretending to be me, because she thought that they would be "better for me than the job I was doing and I'd enjoy it more." Cover letters were written and everything. I knew nothing about it until one of them offered me an interview.

Is there any chance that she might start applying for council houses for your brother "on his behalf". I mean, she won't get far if she tries, but it could cause problems.

I know you can't dictate to your mum about who she sees, but I would seriously recommend that this lady is no longer in company with this person, and certainly not alone. If anything should happen to your mum, such as a stroke or something, would there be a danger of this person moving herself into mum's house to "care" for her? Or wangle her way into having LPA?

This is really troubling. I hope you can get her away from you all without too much hassle. x

Topseyt123 · 05/09/2026 16:54

So why hasn't she been blocked by all of you? I really don't understand why this obvious solution hasn't already been done.

Just tell her this is all absolutely none of her business and if she doesn't wind her neck in then you will report her to the police for harassment. Then all of you block her on everything (phones, WhatsApp, all social media, email etc.). Follow through with your promise to go to the police if she turns up or finds other means to contact you, such as friends' phones, or family ones.

I agree with others suggesting that perhaps your mother has divulged too much to this woman and is embarrassed about it and the results of it. So she might not be telling you the whole truth. She could be the weakest link and might unblock her.

fucketyfucktothefarsideoffuck · 05/09/2026 16:56

If it was a call to your brother how come he knows there was an angry face and finger pointing?

mathanxiety · 05/09/2026 16:57

Your mother needs to stop all contact with this deranged individual. She is clearly the source of all the information she's getting.

Your DB needs to block her

You all need to go to the police.

SerendipityJane · 05/09/2026 16:57

Carers allowance is about 50p an hour.

TremendousFlatulence · 05/09/2026 17:01

The most mysterious thing about all of this is that any of you made it possible for there to be a second time. What are you thinking? Just block whoever this thundercunt is and get on with your lives.

Meganandbaby · 05/09/2026 17:02

fucketyfucktothefarsideoffuck · 05/09/2026 16:56

If it was a call to your brother how come he knows there was an angry face and finger pointing?

WhatsApp video

OP posts:
disturbia · 05/09/2026 17:08

SamphiretheTervosaur · 05/09/2026 15:28

You, your mum and your brother need to tell her to fuck off and call the police if she contacts any of yog again

Absolutely this and tell her in a very firm voice she must be mad or something

Happyjoe · 05/09/2026 17:09

Shake your heads, laugh, then press block. Problem solved.
No reasoning, no explaining, no telling her anything about yourselves. Block, move on, be happy.

Topseyt123 · 05/09/2026 17:11

Meganandbaby · 05/09/2026 17:02

WhatsApp video

You can block on WhatsApp too although you have to do it in addition to blocking on your phone as it isn't automatic.

You are studiously ignoring everyone who is asking why you haven't all just blocked this woman. It's the totally obvious first thing to do.

Pessismistic · 05/09/2026 17:11

You need to unblock her op ring her tell her to stop interfering with your family and your mum knows certain things can’t be done and she certainly doesn’t need her contacting her or other family members. One more contact from her you report her to the police and tell her to worry about her own mental health issues then block her.

Archabs · 05/09/2026 17:14

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Meganandbaby · 05/09/2026 17:14

Topseyt123 · 05/09/2026 17:11

You can block on WhatsApp too although you have to do it in addition to blocking on your phone as it isn't automatic.

You are studiously ignoring everyone who is asking why you haven't all just blocked this woman. It's the totally obvious first thing to do.

We have.

we just didn’t think she’d have my brothers phone number. It was from years ago he did one small job in her house.

OP posts:
Meganandbaby · 05/09/2026 17:16

Topseyt123 · 05/09/2026 17:11

You can block on WhatsApp too although you have to do it in addition to blocking on your phone as it isn't automatic.

You are studiously ignoring everyone who is asking why you haven't all just blocked this woman. It's the totally obvious first thing to do.

Forgot to add, she turned up at my mums house a week ago twice. Knocking

OP posts:
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