AIBU to feel upset my parents are selling their holiday home?

[DeeDeeDodo]

So I do know I am being unreasonable... but my parents own a holiday home abroad, which we go to with our kids 3-4 times a year as we absolutely love it and it is a cost effective way to have a holiday as we only pay for the flights and cleaner. I've been going for 30 years so feels like a home from home.

My parents are finding it too much to manage and get there so were going to let me and my brother take over management. However, they have now changed their minds and are going to sell it. They openly say they don't need the money, but they want to dispose of it as they're not using it. It is worth a fair amount (more than my house) and the money is just going to sit in a bank account not doing anything for anybody - my parents won't require it for care even if that time comes as they have other means.

I realise this is completely their choice, but I am crushed. I have so many of my happiest memories there, espeically of my children. It enables so much quality family time for us, which as the children get older I know will become more challenging to get at home.

We also won't really be able to afford holidays now. We both work full time in demanding jobs with long hours and have always had the next trip there booked so always had that to look forward to.

Not really sure what I am saying, but I find it upsetting that something so important to me, my husband and kids will be gone for no benefit to anybody.

Why would you ask that, it’s none of your business the tax burden

Please do not suggest this - it sounds really grabby - I would be horrified if my AC thought they should be entitled to a free holiday every year!

I disagree, it’s two years if discussions, they know how you feel, they e decided to sell, just accept it and move on, going back in and trying to emotionally blackmail them again so you can have cheap holidays isn’t ok.

I couldn't, he probably could. But I guess that presents it's own problems.

Loads of families have holidays abroad without spending anything like £15k on the accommodation alone. We've had lots of lovely holidays and never spent anything like that.

It’s shocking how grabby people are and they don’t even benefit. The shame of asking your parents to treat you to holidays each year.

Where on earth costs £15k just for accommodation?

It’s difficult to tell whether you are upset about the actual holiday home being sold or that you won’t be able to have all those holidays anymore as you cannot afford your own.

I own a holiday home abroad. It’s an amazing setting right on a private beach. It’s a holiday home which have been with my family for generations. I personally don’t go that often, but I am not selling for sentimental reasons and I know my children will want to continue to go there and holiday with their families in the future. So I do understand being close emotionally to a holiday home/ place.

Not read the thread but re the CGT liability if they gift it to you, could you buy it at undervalue for the CGT cost (so not a complete gift to you) and that would give them funds to pay the CGT?

It's quite clear that a large number of posters have no experience of owning a holiday home, & all the problems that go with it.

The annual costs of just having the property sitting empty can easily be
€6/8,000 for bills, + the cost of a cleaner/housekeeper & ongoing maintenance.

Renting out is very tightly controlled, licences can be difficult to obtain & very expensive, & rental income for non-residents can be taxed at a very high rate.

Selling is expensive as well e.g. E.A. charge in Spain is 5%, & Legal Fees are much higher than in U.K.

Whether the OP's parents need the money is irrelevant, they do not need the hassle.

but definitely nothing like the same sort of holiday,

it sounds like you can afford holidays but you just need to cut your coat according to your cloth in future, like millions of other people.

If they gifted it to you and your brother could you afford to pay their tax?

If it’s £15k for a comparable property in the location in August, would your parents consider letting your bro and you take over the management and it be let out for holiday accom a lot of the year? That would hopefully provide enough income to cover its costs? And it would stay in the family.

What do you regard as a “small holiday” out of interest? @DeeDeeDodo

YANBU for feeling disappointed but you are being massively unreasonable to be focusing primarily on how hard done by you are instead of just feeling huge gratitude to your parents for the many years of free holidays they’ve given you.

Where are you looking? I've never paid that much for a holiday in my life, and I've travelled a lot.
I think the best thing is just to think; you've had decades of lovely, low cost holidays, but unfortunately it's come to an end. The house will be sold, and I can't see that there's anything you can do.
Perhaps try to find different types of holiday from now on?

If they really do have the money it seems crazy not to gift it! CGT is lower than IHT, yes you might pay both but the taper after 3 years would help.

I mean two years of discussions about a holiday home would have me exhausted.

When it comes to retirees there's always comments from AC on MN saying they're retired now - they don't need it anymore, they're just hoarding, they should give it to me now! Or OMG they eat out all the time and fly business class (that's my inheritance they're spending!) - are we expected to sit around our homes doing nothing except child care and waiting for the vultures to die?

Aren’t they going to have to pay capital gains when selling it now anyway? In which case can’t they keep it and when the time comes to divide their estate you either sell it then or one of you or your brother buys the other out?

They could have given it to you as a gift, it just would have carried the risk it would be considered part of their estate if they died within 7 years.

They will have to pay tax on a gain on sale anyway. Could you afford to give them enough between you & your brother to cover the tax?

Eg if it was sold for 1m, and originally bought for 300k, there will be a gain of 700k. It would be taxable at max 24%, so £168k tax. There could be local tax wherever the property is but you can almost always set that off against the uk tax.

Agree @Loghabit I don’t think I’ve read such an entitled post in a long time.

I don't think it's a question of the money for your parents - it's the responsibility as you get older. You want to simplify your life and make it as hassle-free as possible.
We recently sold our holiday home abroad and our family can no longer go there which is a shame but the responsibility was weighing on my husband as he approached 70. He wanted things done and dusted before it became a problem.
Your suggestion to manage it with your brother was a reasonable one and I understand your disappointment but it sounds as if your parents wanted to make a clean break .. which I do also understand.

Well there you are then, for the few thousand you pay on flights every year you can get a lovely fortnight somewhere in Europe even in school holidays. It’s perfectly doable because most of us have been doing it for years. You just need to adjust your expectations.

Tbh you wont get masses of sympathy on here op simply because you've had 30 years of 3-4 free holidays a year in accom worth 7-8k a week.

Yanbu to be sad.your parents are not being unreasonable to sell.

Yes true, they do have the money to pay the CGT in either case. We would also still be subject to IHT on 50% of it minus the £325k allowance if one of them died within 7 years, and maybe the unspoken thing between us is that my dad is very unwell and I would feel very lucky if we get another 2 years with him.

But yes, one option we had discussed was gifting it. They just keep saying that it is a lot of work, which is why we were going to trial us managing it for them. My mum has also said she worries me and my brother would fall out over things. I think fundamentally, she can't enjoy it anymore so she wants it gone.