AIBU to feel upset my parents are selling their holiday home?

[DeeDeeDodo]

So I do know I am being unreasonable... but my parents own a holiday home abroad, which we go to with our kids 3-4 times a year as we absolutely love it and it is a cost effective way to have a holiday as we only pay for the flights and cleaner. I've been going for 30 years so feels like a home from home.

My parents are finding it too much to manage and get there so were going to let me and my brother take over management. However, they have now changed their minds and are going to sell it. They openly say they don't need the money, but they want to dispose of it as they're not using it. It is worth a fair amount (more than my house) and the money is just going to sit in a bank account not doing anything for anybody - my parents won't require it for care even if that time comes as they have other means.

I realise this is completely their choice, but I am crushed. I have so many of my happiest memories there, espeically of my children. It enables so much quality family time for us, which as the children get older I know will become more challenging to get at home.

We also won't really be able to afford holidays now. We both work full time in demanding jobs with long hours and have always had the next trip there booked so always had that to look forward to.

Not really sure what I am saying, but I find it upsetting that something so important to me, my husband and kids will be gone for no benefit to anybody.

Could they sell it but use some of the money to buy a smaller, cheaper holiday property in your (and DB) names, that you’d manage and eventually inherit?

Where is it, and just how big and fancy is it, that the accommodation alone would cost 15k for 2 weeks?

YABU but have you told them this is how you feel and asked them to reconsider? Again reiterating youll take responsibility for managing it for them

Why don’t you and your brother buy a share each?

I find it upsetting that something so important to me, my husband and kids will be gone for no benefit to anybody.

You had use of it for 30 years and you've got a large sense of entitlement to it from that. It's not yours and you can't afford to buy it. So your parents will sell and they will benefit from that sale. Are they nobody? Like sheesh. That's greedy.

You expect to use it and they pay because you can't. Even if they gave it to you, how could you afford the upkeep and maintenance and taxes? Long distance properties are costly to own and burdensome.

It could be possible they've had financial advice to sell. If they can't go anymore, they must be fairly old.

I hope it becomes a year round home for someone.

Be grateful that you've had cheap holidays for all those years. YABVU.

How much did you actually do in the last two years of talking about it. Have they perhaps tired of talking and not seeing any actual help yet and thought you wouldn’t follow through and they’d be stuck with it in when they couldn’t cope.

Actually, I do feel for you OP. While I'm usually a 'you're not entitled to your parents money person', in this case there's something about your well heeled parents depriving you of this enjoyment just to avoid paying tax that leaves a sour taste. Its like grasping onto every last penny rather than pay their dues is more important than your pleasure.

Why aren't you answering the question as to whether it is let out to other guests or not?
If it isn't then it is just sitting there costing your parents money every month and you and your brother managing it won't change that!

maybe the unspoken thing between us is that my dad is very unwell and I would feel very lucky if we get another 2 years with him.

I find it upsetting that something so important to me, my husband and kids will be gone for no benefit to anybody.

Your dad is very unwell and your mum is facing the possibility of losing him in the next couple of years and this is what you find upsetting? Just stop hassling your parents and let them do whatever they think is best for them.

How old are your kids? How much longer will they be wanting to do family holidays?

OP just mentioned the taxes in Spain, so no idea how it could cost £15k just on accommodation!!

I kind of meant how much had you been doung. Really all of it? Its a big ask to maintain another large property. I'm not surprised they want to sell.

I'm from the generation that mostly did better than their parents (early 50's) so no can't understand this. Buy your own holiday home.

and maybe the unspoken thing between us is that my dad is very unwell and I would feel very lucky if we get another 2 years with him.

Perhaps they want to sell it to avoid the legal headache of dealing with the inheritance of a property abroad.

Or are you thinking you'll inherit from him soon and would rather have the property than the cash?

Your parents are absolutely not unreasonable to sell. Very sensible really I think, all things considered.
You and your brother are absolutely not unreasonable to feel upset at losing such a convenient and cheap holiday option, along with the sadness at the ‘end of an era’ element.
Given the decision is made, there’s little to say about it now, it’s just a shame to see it go.

This may be the first time I have ever disagreed with you on MN!

I do wonder what some of the "younger" generation have been doing to still be reliant on their parents. This is not normal.

We’ve had plenty of amazing holidays for far less than 15k, we spent 2 weeks in a 5 star hotel with a family of four this summer and it was half that. We also went to Italy the year before and the flights were 350 quid for all four of us at decent times and during the summer holidays.
not sure what you are looking at that is costing 15 grand but you can have many lovely holidays for that money.
ultimately, you can’t afford to buy it and it’s not your house, so it was never yours it was just a rental you got for free.
There’s not much you can do do about it if you can’t afford to buy it off them.
unless they could sell it to you at say 50 percent under market rate and use the 50 percent as a deposit and get 50 percent as a mortgage, potentially there’s something in that that could be explored between you and your bother?

They’re not avoiding tax - if they gift it or sell it they will pay tax. But if they sell it they have the money coming in to pay the tax

my dad has been simplifying as much as he can as he is worried how my mum would cope otherwise

Could they sell the home and buy a small flat/property in the same/similar area and gift it to you?

The OP has been talking about how sad she feels about the disposal of the second home for 2 years - do you think her parents know how sad she feels? Interesting that she doesn't seem to know how they feel or maybe she does and that doesn't matter!

If she has been talking about it for two years, it's high time to move on. To many of the cheaper holiday deals available. And let her dad manage his illness instead of having to manage a holiday home.

My mistake. I thought the OP had said they were selling it to avoid tax. But yes if they sell they'll have to pay it, as you say.

I had a similar thing. My parents had a flat in the south of France. Then they sold it just as the kids were starting school and it would have saved us a tonne in school holiday holidays. It was annoying! But they just didn’t want the hassle anymore. I totally get it but I still wish they had it!