ds has refused his first 2 days of year 7

[dinosaursroars]

my ds was due to start year 7 yesterday, he’s got asd but no ehcp which i was already concerned about

i don’t drive so he was going to to with his older brother (y10) on the bus but he wasn’t starting until today so I tried to take him yesterday but was also with my baby in the pushchair and my 5yo.

he got ready and everything but when we were walking to the bus stop he kept saying he didn’t want to go and was getting upset and tried to run in the road and it just wasnt safe as it was just me and also trying to keep an eye on my younger children so i gave in and we went home which probbaly wasnt great

Today I had to do the school run for my 5yo so couldn’t take him in and he was going to go with his brother as planned but he just wouldn’t get dressed he kept saying things like he wanted his old school and he didnt want to start a new school etc so again i gave in as he was going to make my other children late

have phones the school and the head of year 7 is supposed to call me today but hasn’t yet

I just feel like a failure already i was already worried about him going to school and how he’d cope but not actually getting him there i didnt think this would be the issue

The secondary school can only do so much. OP ignored them and avoided contact to the point that she didn't know the 17 year old needed to apply for college. Schools cannot force parents to be involved.

OP, you need practical help of other people, like his dad, your parents/siblings etc. to help you, because you are not coping. What about your new baby's dad, what does he do? You cannot go on like this, and even EHCP will not solve the problem of your son not being taken to school if there is no one there capable of taking him. Instead it will be used as an excuse for him to stay at home in his bedroom scrolling on his phone for years to come (because the help is not there, services are overwhelmed) and later claiming UC/mental health benefits indefinitely.

Sorry to hear you're still having such a shit time OP.

Seem to recall from a previous post you were going to get an appointment to discuss your own undiagnosed struggles. Did you ever get anywhere with that?

Hope your 17 year old is well and has found a new course to enroll in.

This was my thought when I read OP's reply. Without the pram, it's much easier to grab the 11 year old when he runs into the road.

I would have tried again when the 5 year old had been dropped off. It's not "Oh, whoops, it's 9.01 so I guess this day gets written off".

every single time when i made a thread im constantly attacked by posters bringing up the fact about my sons college when it was over a year ago now. hes already completed a year at college and has just started a new course it’s not relevant to any of my new threads but posters cant help bringing it up
i dont make my older 2 do childcare either

yes ds has done to school today

I'm glad he's gone in today. How did he manage? Did you take him or did he go with his brother?

Glad to hear that your DS went to school today

Hope it stays that way

@dinosaursroars so good to hear he went in today.
Fingers crossed he has a good day.
Make sure you still talk to the SENCO and Head of Year to get support and just take it a day at a time 🙂

I'm wondering this too...

Brilliant news he’s gone in today OP, first time is always the hardest. I hope he has a good day and at least it’s Friday.

Did the school ring back? If not make sure you chase up today even though he has gone in. It’s important you’re proactive in him getting the support he needs.

So glad he's made it in today.

Well done for getting him in today. I was worried that the longer he went without managing to go in, the bigger deal it would become. And year 7 is already a big transition, so especially difficult for children who struggle with transitions. I hope he settles in okay, but I’ve known a fair few autistic kids who have gone from sort of coping at primary, to not coping at secondary. You may well need to brace yourself for the EHCP battle again. Good luck.

Glad to hear things are improving OP!

Awesome! Amongst some good advice and empathy, there’s some horrible judgemental comments. Try to ignore them. This place can be a nest of vipers and busybodies. I hope you and yours have a great weekend!

Great news OP!

That’s really good news! That is a brilliant first step. Hope he had a good day!