AIBU to let my grandson stay on the swing

[GrannyMW50]

While I'm looking after my grandson (2 &1/2), it's my job to keep him safe and happy. I do want to teach him social skills (sharing etc)...but also that he's important & he shouldn't necessarily put other people ahead of himself (especially strangers).
So, when at the park, I allow him to stay on the swing even when there are people nearby waiting for a turn.

At a park today, there was a very vocal mother with 2 children. She came along about 1 minute after gs had got on the swing. One of her children got on the other swing while her 2nd child had to wait. She kept saying, very loudly, that other child had to wait until we finished. Until he complained enough that she removed her daughter from the swing to let him on (making her daughter cry). Why would she think it's ok for my gs...a stranger...to be upset by being removed for her children?
There was another (I assume) grandparent that had taken child from her pram to sit & wait right next to the swing for a turn. Why not go on a different activity while waiting? It just feels pushy!

My grandson had waited ages for a turn...but from other areas of the park..& went running over once the swings were free. What rules do other people go by...& do these change with children's ages?

How long was he on the swing?

I’d let him go on for a few minutes then say now we’ll let someone else have a turn.
One minute is obviously silly but you do need to get off eventually!

It depends how long he was on. Some parks you can't do other things while waiting for the swing or you would never get on. A queue usually forms in some form or another and if there is a queue you should be mindful of that but that doesn't mean immediately getting off.

3/4 minutes if there is a queue.

So the other mum told her son he had to wait, then swapped her children over? Didn't do anything to your grandson at all?
What's the problem?

Nothing worse than swing hogging. Everyone has to take a turn and queue nicely.

After a few minutes (3/4 something like that) I'd tell him it's someone else's turn. If he cried, well unfortunately, everything in the park is for sharing so I would try and distract him and promise him another go later. I think that's how children are taught to live in a society.

Probably about 5/6/7 minutes.

Yes, if it’s busy you take turns. Whether you’re unreasonable depends on how long he was on the swing. 1-3 minutes - YANBU. 5+ minutes: YABU.

Cross posted. YABU in this case.

Yeah that's too long when there is a queue.

So, when at the park, I allow him to stay on the swing even when there are people nearby waiting for a turn.

You're being unreasonable. You're just teaching him to be selfish.

Waiting for this to be declared a reverse and you were the other mother.

Yeah thats too long to hog the swings that will feel like hours in toddler time.

YABU, dis he decide he’d had enough then, or did you call time?

She was very loudly saying her son could go on when my grandson got off. She was absolutely trying to get me to get him off so her son could get on.
My point being, her daughter was upset...as would my gs have been had I let her push him off.

I’d tell my grandson that he could have a few minutes on the swing then we would let the next child have a turn, loud enough for other parents to hear so that they knew we were aware there was a queue forming . Then they could stop tutting and my grandson could enjoy his turn properly then after a few mins I’d say time to come off, then we’d find something else to play on. If the swing was free later on we would go back to it.

Yes, they’ll get upset, they’re toddlers. This is where you hug them and calmly explain to them that we’re taking turns because the equipment is for everyone. You help him develop social skills and regulate his emotions.

I genuinely can't believe you just ignored other children waiting and monopolised a swing for so long.

It's ok for him to be upset sometimes, what happens if he indefinitely refuses to get off, do you just let him stay on the swing until he decides he's done?

It was a huge park with loads to do but just 2 swings.
He only just got on when she arrived with her 2. We probably stayed on for 6/7 mins.
Tbh...I probably would have got him off sooner...if she wasn't being so loud about us getting off!! 🤷

Even a 5 year old could tell you that you have to take turns on the swing! There are never enough. 3/4 minutes each if there’s someone waiting. Then wait for another turn if that’s all he wants to do. You are teaching him to be selfish. But don’t worry, you’re not the only one!

It’s fine not to immediately remove your grandson but once he’s had a decent turn it’s time to swap with someone else. He might be upset for a bit but that’s toddlers for you and that’s life!
Five minutes on a swing would seem like an eternity when you’re doing the pushing.

I don't remove instantly, but usually set a limit, somthing like 20 more swings then it's this boy/girls turn, and count them down. As toddlers mine just enjoyed a countdown, which was enough of a distraction to stop them crying about being taken out.

As a mum of a 5 and 2 year old, YABU. I encourage them to take turns and share all park equipment. Same goes for stuff like zip wires.

Does your daughter take him to a swimming pool with watering can toys?

I called time. He will happily stay on a swing for an hour (when we're the only ones there).