AIBU to let my grandson stay on the swing

[GrannyMW50]

While I'm looking after my grandson (2 &1/2), it's my job to keep him safe and happy. I do want to teach him social skills (sharing etc)...but also that he's important & he shouldn't necessarily put other people ahead of himself (especially strangers).
So, when at the park, I allow him to stay on the swing even when there are people nearby waiting for a turn.

At a park today, there was a very vocal mother with 2 children. She came along about 1 minute after gs had got on the swing. One of her children got on the other swing while her 2nd child had to wait. She kept saying, very loudly, that other child had to wait until we finished. Until he complained enough that she removed her daughter from the swing to let him on (making her daughter cry). Why would she think it's ok for my gs...a stranger...to be upset by being removed for her children?
There was another (I assume) grandparent that had taken child from her pram to sit & wait right next to the swing for a turn. Why not go on a different activity while waiting? It just feels pushy!

My grandson had waited ages for a turn...but from other areas of the park..& went running over once the swings were free. What rules do other people go by...& do these change with children's ages?

My question is genuinely about teaching him self worth balanced with sharing & empathy.
You can (& will) call me whatever you like...I just want to be a good granny

I'm a grandma too. I'd love to indulge my DGDs too, but the monies is the maximum is give them on a swing when someone's waiting. You're not teaching him self-worth' by hoggng a swing. You're teaching him selfishness if you're letting him watch a waiting child for six minutes.

But why do they wait? Teach your child - someone's using that right now, let's find somewhere else to play.

i think it also depends what the queue is like. If there are like 5 + kids of course not everyone can take 5 minutes. Can you imagine how long that last child would have to wait. However if there is only one or two I actually think 5-6 minutes is fine. She probably wanted both of her kids on at the same time so she could push both at the same time and entertain them together. Which is unfortunate.

I make mine share but I feel that toughens them up for school where the staff will not be like Granny… I also would have started a conversation with the parent to explain your DGS had waited ages for a turn and it might be a nicer wait for her child to use something else in the meantime.

Grab about 3/4 minutes which is fairly long when u actually count it is very saying let the other little child have a turn we can try the slide etc.
It's just common courtesy.

I remember that thread 🙄🫣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Me too!

and yes - I think a couple minutes, then hop off for the next person and come back after.

Did you acknowledge them at all?

I think if you'd smiled at the mum and waiting child and said something along the lines of 'we just got here so we'll be a few minutes then you can have your turn' all would have been well.

If you staunchly ignored them and left them wondering if he'd ever get off, YABVU.

I’d have done the same as you op. I hate bullies !

You'd punish a small child for the behaviour of his mother?

You need to watch Peppa Pig Season 3 Episode 22- Grandpa at the Playground

Sorry that made me spit my coffee out.
I can think of a few worse things, but you're right it's up there!

I used to hate this when my two were small. I stopped feeling intimidated by parents and children waiting by the legs of the swings a nano-second after mine had got on. I learned to say that mine had only just got on the equipment and they would be having a fair go. I often used to offer to send a child to fetch them if they wanted to play on something else in the meantime. It is not entitled to have a fair go. What is entitled is to automatically assume that other people will acquiesce and hop off equipment the second your family rocks off. The passive-aggressive mother had access to 50 per cent of the swings; if she was so focused on ‘sharing’ she should have made her own children share.

I think if the swing is busy then go on other play park things first. Come back once the swing is vacant.

I wouldn’t have appreciated her pass-agg way of trying to get him off so I would have politely but pointedly told her like it is - “don’t worry he’ll come off in 5 minutes, but he had to wait a long time for his turn and he’s only just got on”.

YABU. Your grandson was on the swing for too long in this situation. I would say no more than 4-5 minutes on the swing since other children were obviously waiting to use it.

It's all very well and good to want a child to be confident, but your grandson also has to learn about social rules. One of the very first rules most children learn is taking turns. He's old enough to understand, even though he may not like it.

That doesn’t work as any time the swing becomes free, you get a dash of children racing towards the swing, the little ones never make it, much better to take turns of 2/3 minutes swinging.

I used to say now you’ve had your few minutes, it’s time for the next child to have their FEW minutes before they pass it on to the next child.

She was whining loudly trying to make the OP feel uncomfortable. But you already know that :)

I remember that post! 😂

Five minutes is fine, and then off you go if there's a queue. And get used to standing up for yourself, some parents are horrible, demanding and cheeky arseholes.

Yeah that's a bit long when there is a queue.
Might have been kinder to have 3/4 mins and swap. Hope the other family do the same and swap again.
Sound like you were a bit of a swing hogger.
X

Lol. Good memory!

YABVU

She did make her own children share - they took turns! All the while the OP and grandchild were using a swing before, during and after two of her children had turns. But it's the other person is entitled?

The swings are often the hottest commodity when the playpark is busy and if you don't stand near them, you can keep missing out on having a go. The etiquette is only to swing for 2-3mins if someone else is waiting. Making a small child stand waiting for longer than a few mins is unreasonable. If your child wants to have another go, they can stand and wait for their next turn.