AIBU to let my grandson stay on the swing

[GrannyMW50]

While I'm looking after my grandson (2 &1/2), it's my job to keep him safe and happy. I do want to teach him social skills (sharing etc)...but also that he's important & he shouldn't necessarily put other people ahead of himself (especially strangers).
So, when at the park, I allow him to stay on the swing even when there are people nearby waiting for a turn.

At a park today, there was a very vocal mother with 2 children. She came along about 1 minute after gs had got on the swing. One of her children got on the other swing while her 2nd child had to wait. She kept saying, very loudly, that other child had to wait until we finished. Until he complained enough that she removed her daughter from the swing to let him on (making her daughter cry). Why would she think it's ok for my gs...a stranger...to be upset by being removed for her children?
There was another (I assume) grandparent that had taken child from her pram to sit & wait right next to the swing for a turn. Why not go on a different activity while waiting? It just feels pushy!

My grandson had waited ages for a turn...but from other areas of the park..& went running over once the swings were free. What rules do other people go by...& do these change with children's ages?

YABVU. If there are children waiting for their turn, you move on after 2/3 minutes. Not 7 minutes. You manage your own kid's possible disappointment by counting down towards the end. It's not about you OP, it's about kids getting a turn. Your grandson can always go back to the swing later on, for another turn, you know.

How childish! That’s not teaching your GS much is it?

So you had no problem upsetting him after you'd made a petty passive aggressive point that you thought your grandchild was too important to share the swing? What a great role model.

I would not move. It’s a park. Go play elsewhere until it’s free.

It’s a sad day when grown ups don’t know how to share. I despair for the kids.

?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Apologies, I should’ve quoted @WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz

I’d be teaching you GS to share and be a decent human. You reap what you sow.

I think YABU. When my children (5 and 3) want to go on something at the playground they want to wait next to it, so they’re first to go on it when it’s free.

They are very patient, but if a child is taking longer than their fair share at a turn they sometimes ask when it will be their turn. I just explain it will be their turn when the other child is done, and they can either continue to wait or go on something else. They always wait.

That isn’t me being pushy, that’s me literally explaining the situation at hand. What’s wrong with that?

I think you're right. Some people are afraid to say no to their kids (or here, grandkids) and the kids turn into spoilt brats.

She was unreasonable to start hinting loudly after your GS had only been on a minute.

You were unreasonable to let him stay on so long when other children were waiting. And no, it's not 'pushy' for people to wait by the swings for their turn.

Yanbu because you got to the swings at the same time as the lady give or rake a minute. She wanted her children to monopolise the equipment, i ALWAYS swap my kids over in situations like this so other families can have a turn too. If you had 7 mins her DD had 6 mins so fine to swap over.

I'm not sure I made myself clear.
My question is genuinely about teaching him self worth balanced with sharing & empathy.

You can (& will) call me whatever you like...I just want to be a good granny.
The loud, pushy mum extended our swing time because I spent that time overthinking how to respond to the situation 🤷

When there’s a queue I haven’t noticed anybody stay on the swings longer than 2/3 minutes

7 mins? While other children are waiting? I wouldn’t have the brass neck! And I’d be mightily pissed off if my child wasn’t afforded the same consideration by others…
3 minutes max, but everyone has to comply or it doesn’t work, obviously.

I do want to teach him social skills (sharing etc)...but also that he's important & he shouldn't necessarily put other people ahead of himself

Thing is, op. The second bit of your sentence comes very naturally to 2 year olds. No teaching required. It would actually be very difficult to disabuse them of the notion that the world revolves around them. Now, the first part, that’s what you need to reinforce, or he’s going to be insufferable by the time he goes to school.

I keep mine on longer if they do this. I never hover as it makes the other person feel uncomfortable. I make them do another activity until it is free! Good on you!

Change it from child to adult and swing to public toilet. Whole different response then. If I get there first and someone ruins the moment, they’re going to wait longer. Because there is nothing wrong with being passive aggressive. It’s the best type!

You should be teaching him to share. Sounds like you think he should be very entitled. He will have problems when he goes to pre school.

I'm with you OP. Do something else until it's free.

Pushing a swing is the dullest bit of the park. I'm always grateful when another kid wants a go so I can call time on swings.

Couple of minutes, quick count to ten and then off when there's a queue. Congratulate child on turn taking. Go on something more entertaining.

You did make yourself clear, but people think you're unreasonable. You hogged the swing when you knew people were waiting. You can try to dress it up as learning lessons, but people still think it's an unreasonable stance.

Het him a garfen swing if he loves it thst much.

Otherwise, 2-3 mins if there a queue.

Yes this is what I thought when I read your post…I prob would have stayed on a lot longer with her pass-agging and performance talking to her child. If she’d said nothing I would have freed up the swing gracefully sooner 🤷‍♂️

I disagree, taking him off the swing after 2 minutes isn't teaching him to share it's teaching him to turn take. If you're using something as an adult you don't give it up while you're still using it

I tell my son to find something else to do and it drives me mad that he waits for say, 20 minutes but occupying himself elsewhere then someone stands tapping their foot after 60 seconds because their children want it.