colleague has overshared and is now embarrassed

[nearlyemptynes]

A colleague at work has been very down and she confided in me the reasons why which are to do with her husband and relationship. My husband and I have been out with them socially and my DH guessed what the problem is. She asked me if he knew and i said yes and explained he had guessed. She is now fuming that I didn't keep her secret as she says it is not my secret to share. I did not knowingly share- mu husband guessed. She is being v difficult with me. AIBU to be annoyed with her.

Did you confirm with your partner that he guessed right?

Is he secretly gay like most DH on mumsnet?
Plot twist, he's having an affair with your husband?

Im quite surprised your DH just blurted out "is Jeans DH having an affair?" or whatever it is.

Aren't you wondering why he'd ask such an odd thing completely out the blue?

I don't really understand what's happened here. Did you and your DH go out with her and her DH after she told you the issue? And then your DH just happened to mention to you "Beth's acting weird, do you reckon Gareth's cheating on her?" or "Luke's been a proper dick tonight, do you think he's that mean to Ceri at home?" or "Christ Paul stinks, how the hell does Nat put up with that? She must want to be as far away as possible from him". And you just stayed shtum? Or did you then go "well yeah, he's been shagging Sian from accounts" or "he's a narcissistic bully to her, she told me he..." or "Nat says he refuses to wear deodorant because of the chemicals apparently, he's gone very weird since he watched that documentary"

We don't know enough about the situation from your post to make a sound judgement.

Because we don't keep secrets from each other. Or lie by omission.

This is what white lies were invented for!!

"Does your husband know?"
"No"

OP clearly confirmed her husband's guess.

If your husband guessed what the problem was, I am presuming you told him he was right. Anyone would do the same.

You could have just said my husband picked up on it without prompting.

I know loads of couples that tell their partner everything. Ive met very few people that can keep a secret. Keep your distance for a while.

It was in my vows never to keep juicy gossip from him. Sorry Sandra.

So she told you they’re having relationship issues (that’s her ‘secret’, or an actual secret?), then you all went out, your husband said ‘looks like these two are a bit cold with each other, is their relationship on the rocks?’ And you said ‘yeah’.?

Ludicrous. If a friend or family member tells you something in confidence, do you tell him anyway?
I am seriously judging the 'I tell my husband everything' posters.

why were you and your DH discussing their relationship, and why did he care enough to “guess”? Why did she ask you if your DH knew? All sounds very odd…

I think I have already guessed!

🤣🤣🤣

it’s ridiculous “I never keep secrets from my DH” but the question is why do they need to know 🤣

ok so he knew she and her DH were having issues - he has met him and guessed what the issue is- yes i did confirm he was right. I shouldn't have done that I know. But TBH people on here have guessed and I haven't given any detail so...

You might as well tell us what the secret is

OMG. You've misunderstood the advice to not have secrets from your husband. It's about things that affect you or your relationship.
You can't share your friends' secrets!

It's already been guessed by posters above........

Ah OP, you're in good company.
This is a place where almost no-one is capable of keeping a friend's confidence ☹️.
I wonder if your husband is her husband's lover 🤔. Probably explains how he just knew.

I can't abide people who just can't keep their gobs shut when trusted with other people's affairs.

…another Gay Husband thread. Are people on MN just incredibly unlucky, or is it some strange kink ?

Why on earth would you tell her he knew?

Colleague's H is gay.
OP - "Colleague and H are having some issues"
DH - "that he's gay?"
OP - "how did you know?"
DH - "its obvious"

Fin

If you confirmed then you are at fault 🤷

I mean - if its that obvious that your husband guessed... you shouldnt have confirmed it tho op.